Disappointed after wedding dress shopping

[FrankAndBeans]

Anyone else had this? I went shopping for the first time yesterday. I'm 5"3, very large bust but size 10 everywhere else and everything but a very basic dress looked horrendous on me. I imagined myself in lace and with beading, and the only style of dress that suited seemed so 'not me'. I'm going to a different dress shop today with high hopes still but yesterday I felt like crying after my appointment. Has anyone had to settle for a dress that they didn't think suited their personality? Is it more important to like the dress or have it be flattering? The dress made me look pretty, I have a classic look about me but we are having a very relaxed wedding and I had a more relaxed style in mind but it all makes me look fat! I'm just looking for reassurance I suppose that I'm not doomed.

Also any suggestions or tips for my shape? This is the one I tried yesterday.

Could you go for the plain classic style that suits your figure, and use jewellery and accessories to make yourself feel more 'special'?

Oh goodness, dress shopping can be soul destroying! It's built up to be such a big thing. I found, I did need to put in some effort, especially as normal shopping for me is not fun. Brace yourself for the hard work, try on LOTS of dresses, all different styles. Ask the assistant for help, what they think might suit you. Ask them to give you one of each style to try, so fishtail, knee length, princessy, sleek etc (I'm bit good with the real style names!).

For me, I narrowed it down, and then kept shopping till I'd found 'the one'. And when I did find it, it was the best feeling ever!

Amber that's a good suggestion. SIL-to-be suggested maybe a wrap or little cardigan or something to spice it up a bit. Maybe I could try and find a little glitzy one.

Doje Glad to hear it's not just me! I think the place I went to yesterday was a more classic boutique, the one I'm going to today is a bit more modern so hopefully I will find a similar flattering style but with a bit more sparkle.
In my head I had a boho-y look to match our BBQ and pizza garden wedding with my red t bar shoes and lots of individuality and it's just not what has translated into looking good on me!

It sounds like you have an amazing figure- size 10 with a big bust so I think it's just a case of trying on loads of dresses until you find one you love. Try some styles you hadn't considered, you may be surprised. Halter neck styles look good with a big bust. If you want lace and beading, don't go for anything with too high a neckline, as that will only accentuate your large chest.
Remember most dress shops will alter the dress to fit your figure which will make a huge difference.

Good luck. I know what you mean, it's an awful feeling when you don't like anything you try on, especially if you had expectations of finding the perfect dress.

What sort of dress were you imagining - do you have a picture?

There is a lot of advice for dressing a large bust here

You might have to collect a list of parts that work to look for a dress or get one altered. for example, the right neckline, fitted to waist, not a huge skirt, details on skirt or sleeves but not around the bust area, not too dainty necklace ... I 'm making these up but you get the idea.

Would one of the 50s style dresses suit you, maybe ballerina length with fabulous accessories? I can see how the "Downton" style would just hide your waist.

BHLDN have lovely glitzy toppers and wraps. Take a look online.

Definitely second trying on loads. I wanted a column shaped delicate dress with beading and they all looked shit on me - gutted. Ended up with the most beautiful 50s style lace dress but only after trying on loads!! Was not what I pictured intitially. I'm a 10 with 32d bust so anything that was bra-less was a no. Try everything and anything on and try a few different places - a good assistant will pick for you and explain the different styles and shapes. My best experience was being given dresses to try on rather than browsing and being overwhelmed by choice. Good luck!

This was my dress!

This was the sort of style I'd fallen in love with but the stiff lace ones I tried on yesterday looked awful. I tried on one I'd been lusting after and it made me look twice my actual size. The shop owner said I was lucky to have such a small selection that looked nice and I wanted to cry as I didn't feel any of them reflected 'me'.

That's beautiful Tiger and you have a lovely figure. I will definitely try a shorter length on, I'm trying to go in more open minded today.

Try on all different styles and shades. Then once you have an idea if your perfect silhouette you can then try different materials etc. Try to relax! Maybe a glass of champagne first to make it more enjoyable. Take people with you who you can trust to give you a totally honest opinion.

Thanks for that link Steam just browsing through now. I think the neckline I tried on yesterday of off the shoulder worked wonders for boob minimising and I never would have initially tried it on so it's all worth a go!

Rocknroll bride and Pinterest are great for alternative / informal weddings.

I think that's half the issue Hedda is I have such bad self esteem issues anyway. I'm 8 months PP and still breastfeeding too so I'm struggling to feel comfortable.

Where do you live, OP?

If you're anywhere near the London area, check out Jane Bourvis - she works with antique laces, so every dress is unique. She's on Instagram, have a look and see what you think.

I have a 30FF bust, size 10 everywhere else like you, (bikini/swimsuit shopping is the soul-destroyer for me) and the first dress she put on me was the one I went for.

I'm West Midlands I'm afraid Turnip and in a small rural city. That sounds amazing though, I will have a peek now. I'm not against travelling.

Don't settle! I am a size 8-10 with a bigger bust and I am so glad I didn't in the end. If you want lace and beading the. Maybe try something a bit less structured - Jenny Packham type styles - those shapes look lovely on curves.

I think you need an open mind and lots of people end up with something they were not intending to buy.

I imagined a modern fitted plain dress but ended up with something very full and traditional as it was what suited me.

I also have big boobs and small waist but lost weight all over before the wedding.

Try loads on and I know it's a cliche but when you find the right one you will know.

The one you tried on is beautiful.

Don't worry OP, if you've only been to one shop you have only seen a tiny tiny sample of what is available. I second the advice of trying all the different styles on, including ones which you don't think you will choose. For one it's fun and takes the pressure off a bit, for another you might end up being pleasantly surprised by what you like. Wedding dresses are so different to what most of us wear every day it can be difficult to know what will work for you.
My dress was not what I had imagined but as soon as I tried it on I knew.
If you are size 10 with big boobs bear in mind a lot of samples (size 12/14) are going to hang off your chest and look really unflattering, when in reality a dress in that style altered to you would look fab. That's what size i was when I got married so speaking from experience (not any more ).

She is a very lovely lady, I didn't feel under any pressure to buy, we had a long chat about feminism and life in general before my mum arrived. She basically puts a silk slip on you underneath, and 'builds' the dress around you, if you see what I mean.

I mentioned I was conscious about my bust, she said she would ensure that the lace covered enough so I didn't, and commented on my lovely 'Edwardian' figure But the rest of the lace flows beautifully, I didn't want to feel like I couldn't move around in it.

I agree, off the shoulder styles can be very flattering and most have in built support. You could ask in the shop about suitable bras, good support is key.

After giving birth and breastfeeding, your body confidence does take a bit of a battering. Try not to be so critical of yourself. What makes the outfit is having your hair beautifully done, make up, shoes and accessories so bear that in mind when trying on!

Good luck today, let us know how you get on.

Here are a few real brides in JP to illustrate what I mean...

Or if you can find a local seamstress you could have one made (much cheaper too) she should make a 'mock' one first in plain cotton to check it was ok. She would prob have photos of others she has made too nod could customise to your taste. I hated wedding dress shopping, not me at all! It was all just ghastly! Found a local lady and she made a lovely dress. I bought the fabric and lace (which was much better quality than we could have afforded in a dress from a shop). Good luck!