Is there a middle way between "letting oneself go" and spending hours and hours on personal grooming?

[MadMadDonna]

Well, is there?

This weekend I shaved my legs and armpits, used body lotion all over, cleaned my ears, used a nose hair remover thing, plucked my chin and other stray hairs, painted my toenails, filed my nails, used hand cream, heel cream, a face scrub and moisturiser. And that's before I put any make up on. I have a childless, single friend who does most of this EVERY day and always has done and I must admit she looks great.

So I felt better for doing all that maintenance but don't have time to do it every day. I have a quick hair wash every other day and leave for work with wet hair which is dry by the time I get there but during the week I just have to let it go.

What do you do, how do you find a balance? I have my hair coloured professionally every 6-8 weeks and I have worked out a capsule wardrobe so I don't think I look that bad but honestly, the maintenance is doing my head in!

Tips most welcome.

ladybird, I am a member of the soap club here. None of them are drying, quite the opposite. I gave them a list of the ones I love and they only send me those - probably 12 to choose from.

I have never had to wash my hair more than twice a week, very fine. It very thick. I reckon thickness must have something to do with it.

It's fun reading about everyone's regimens.

I am 50. I wash my hair on work days, so three or four times weekly.

I have had Botox. I have also had extensive laser hair removal. I don't need to shave as a result.

I do not use soap on my face, I just rinse it with plain water. Occasionally I will use a glycolic acid cleanser and follow that up with a sea-salt scrub. I have oily skin so I don't seem to need a moisturizer. I keep my nails and toenails short. My toenails are always painted, by me, and this seems to last about 10-14 days.

My hair is starting to turn grey, from a honey-brown color, and I am going with it. I do use a purple shampoo to avoid my grey hair looking orangey-brassy, which can occur if one uses regular shampoo.

suicidee I wash mine every other day, the days between I can't wear it down, it looks terrible. Coz I know its not good to wash it daily though I wear it up on the days between. It looks fine that way. I think its just down to hair type. Mine is quite fine

Oh, I also religiously avoid sun exposure, and had several laser and chemical peel treatments to my face, but none for a few years. I did it to get my facial skin looking good initially.

Pitiless Yank sounds like your hair / skin is similar to mine. Also just use water, although I do moisturise at this time of year, and my skin loves the sun...I go yellow between November and April

Ladybirdbookworm get an eplictor and/or Lumea, it will make a huge difference. I wish I had bought those years ago as I am a hairy Mary and it has been the bane of my life.

Passport - you can pick them up in Boots variety of brands, and prices. I love them!!! place onto clean skin after toner and then lie back for 20 mins and relax! Then remove mask from face, take any remaining product from the packet, and massage all remaining liquid into face results are amazing!!!

I wash and blow dry my hair 2-3 times a week. I'll do a hair mask with one of those washes. I have to wear it up for work though so it's usually dried roughly unless I'm going out. I wear it in a bun or French plait.
I get my hair cut and balayage done every 3-4 months.
I use a moisturising body wash and scrunch in the shower or bath everyday to try and exfoliate and moisturise as I wash.
I try to shave legs and armpits once a week. I was getting my legs waxed and do prefer it so might go back to it. Need to find somewhere good near me now I've moved.
I get a lash lift and tint every 6-8 weeks. This makes such a huge difference. I love it!
And my brows and upper lip waxed or threaded and brows tinted once a month. I pluck my one thick chin hair haha!
I use a hot cloth cleanser most days or a miscellar water when I'm lazy. Benzoyl peroxide for my skin and then moisturiser and eye cream. Then once a week a clay mask.
I have a manicure and gel polish every 2 weeks and use a cuticle oil every night. I don't do my toes that often but like to get pedicures every few months. Haven't gone for one in a while though as I can't cos have a verrucae that Won't go away
Makeup wise I wear moisturiser, primer, foundation, concealer, brow powder, eye primer, eye shadows, mascara, blusher, bronzer, highlighter lip stick and setting spray. If I go out in the evening I'll wear eyeliner and stronger contouring and lip.

Ladybirdbookworm just a quick warning, if you buy a Lumea you need to charge it every three or four months or it will die completely. They cost between £300 and £500 so it's a very expensive mistake to make (voice of experience!).

The manual says, in just one discreet line: "charge every three or four months whether you use it or not". This implies it's an optional convenience, as though you can more easily grab and use it with some battery power left. It doesn't say anywhere that failure to follow those instructions will result in the entire unit being impossible to use ever again.

I'm not super polished but I have some sort of beauty regime that I follow regularly. I'm 43, and I do it because I really enjoy it. I've always done it.
I wash my hair daily; I have tried not washing it every day but it gets super greasy and I hate it. So everyday I wash and style it (blow dry or do waves with straightener). I apply a hair mask once a week, mainly on Sundays. I also use a spray to protect my hair from the heat.
I do a mani pedi myself on Sunday evenings. I soak my hands/feet, file them, sort out cuticles and apply nail polish. I have one of those machines to file your heels..it's quite addictive and works well!
I also do face masks once a week, sometimes more if my skin is really dry (I quite like the new sheet masks).
Other than that, it takes me about 1 hour to get ready for work every morning and this includes: shower,wash hair, apply moisturiser (I use Nivea in shower body cream), put my makeup and dry/style my hair.
I'm not very hairy so if i need to shave my legs I do it whilst I'm in the shower; same with armpits.
I double cleanse my skin (oil followed by cleanser) day and night, and wear serum and moisturiser in the morning and in the evening. EVery two months I get my eyebrows threaded. And I have my hair highlighted every 8-12 weeks.

For you wannabe speed shavers, I swear by the Intuition razor that has the blades set in a mini bar of soap and rave about how much it's changed my life whenever I can (the opportunities are limited I'll be honest) I tried it in 2003 and have spent 13 glorious years using something that's as easy as applying a stick deodorant.

I don't do 99% of your list. But then I've thought about it and I've put effort in so I don't have to:

Shave legs and armpits - have had laser hair removal. Only need a quick skim over with a razor once in a blue moon, takes seconds

Body lotion, hand cream, heel cream - eliminated by only using SLS and SLES free shower gel. When you aren't stripping moisture out of your skin, you don't need to put it back. Occasionally will use Flexitol Heel Balm.

Paint toenails - honestly only in the summer

Pluck chin and stray hairs - OK, I have more than stray hairs and have had since puberty Got rid of most the laser, the fuckers came back. Committed to electrolysis, it's now 10 minutes about once a month, they are being annihilated

Other than that having short hair and embracing the curl helps - can be dried naturally in the car and I get compliments from people who think I have special styling skillz. And you probably don't look half as bad without makeup as you think - I don't bother, never have and it's fine.

Wolpertinger
With laser hair removal have you had your legs done?
I'd be interested in lower legs and bikini line.
Does it mean no shaving or waxing at all? How many sessions did you need?
I have an awful lot of coarse but almost white blonde leg hair, would it be suitable?

I have had my legs done but I was ideal as I have v pale skin and v dark hair.

Can't remember how many sessions legs were - it's not all gone but the few that are left take a minute to go with a razor and can almost get away without doing them. Underarms was the fewest sessions as the hair is black. If I had a few more sessions it might all go but it became annoying and expensive just pursuing the stragglers - there really isn't much there.

With white blonde leg hair, it may not work - you can try asking at a proper clinic rather than a salon and see what they say but bikini line etc is definitely worth it.

For me electrolysis has been better for facial hair as hormones keep driving the hair to come back and laser was prohibitively expensive on my face as it was all over. But it's sooo painful.

Light coloured hair doesn't work on a laser. It works on the contrast and so you need pale skin and dark hair.

I'm not an ideal candidate because I have olive skin and dark hair.
Ive had full body laser hair removal and it has worked in some areas but not others. Bikini worked well (8 sessions and I no longer have hairy hotpants ), underarms the hair went initially but has come back (although reduced). legs are significantly reduced but still have some degree of hair (but would only need to shave every few days rather than every day). My chin has been a nightmare. 12 laser sessions in and I still have a very definite beard. Tache is almost gone though.

You then need top up treatments every so often.

Bikini is very very painful. I have had a neat triangle on the front (not too bad in terms of pain) but hollywood underneath (serious pain). You have to leave your modesty at the door and brace yourself!

Atticus my clinic told me face was the worst for coming back as it's so hormonally driven. In the end they advised me not to come back as they felt bad taking money off me and suggested electrolysis instead - which is horrendously painful when you are having 30 minutes of it but has worked out much better value for my face as it's really worked.

Best chin pluck - was years ago in car on sunny day, spotted what I though was a black head on chin bone - so only visible when I head tilted, gave it a squeeze and all this gunk and inch long curly looking pube popped out

I'm salivating.

Yes I suspect that I might find that to be the case Wolp. My clinic have been great and I'm currently using a couple of free sessions they've given me. It keeps it under control until I stop. Then three months later it's all back again.

My DM had the same experience and gave up. Its very disappointing given that laser treatment is so expensive.

Thank you I'm going to get a lumea
I've been stalking posts about them for a while
I've got an epilator but I hate the bumps and the itch when the hairs start growing in.

I also use an intuition razor !!!!

Reading this thread has made me realise how un groomed I am at the moment
I haven't been well and it's amazing g how much better I always feel when I'm a bit more polished

That's it - I'm inspired

I shower every day and wash my hair. I"m very blonde and like a lot of blondes I don't tend to be very hairy. In fact I wish I had more of the stuff, especially on my head. I've got that limp straight hair that loads of blondes have.
I have it cut and coloured every 6 weeks and I I do my own nails.
I shower every day and wash and condition my hair. Moisturise my body and face and blow dry my hair.
Concealer, a fluff of powder, brown powder in my lashes and mascara plus a little blusher. Usually Benefit Dandelion, something soft like that.

I Footner a couple of times a year otherwise I just moisturise my feet every day.
That's it .

I think to work properly laser has to be done by a medic with a big fuck off raygun Not a beauty therapist with a laser bought in sally the hairdresser!

How to male to female transsexuals get rid of it?

chicken - hormone therapy.

And laser therapy.

Definitely re lasers. Anyone that has come near me with a laser or a needle is a doctor - would you let your hairdresser prescribe antibiotics? in the same vein I wouldn't take hair dye advice from my doctor. Also experts in their fields that are in my view "good" at what they do, are very honest about what you can expect - I was advised that my forehead frowny lines would respond well to botox, look very natural and no one would notice - they haven't - but anything injected below the eyes would look done and he personally wouldn't advise it. Also any decent pro, will be able to show you lots of before and after pics.