Is there a middle way between "letting oneself go" and spending hours and hours on personal grooming?

[MadMadDonna]

Well, is there?

This weekend I shaved my legs and armpits, used body lotion all over, cleaned my ears, used a nose hair remover thing, plucked my chin and other stray hairs, painted my toenails, filed my nails, used hand cream, heel cream, a face scrub and moisturiser. And that's before I put any make up on. I have a childless, single friend who does most of this EVERY day and always has done and I must admit she looks great.

So I felt better for doing all that maintenance but don't have time to do it every day. I have a quick hair wash every other day and leave for work with wet hair which is dry by the time I get there but during the week I just have to let it go.

What do you do, how do you find a balance? I have my hair coloured professionally every 6-8 weeks and I have worked out a capsule wardrobe so I don't think I look that bad but honestly, the maintenance is doing my head in!

Tips most welcome.

YY to more polished when slim. Then you can look great in tshirt, jeans and a lipbalm.

I'm 5'2 and 13.5 stone. I just look messy because of the rolls popping out and because clothes don't fit well with me being a funny shape.

Facial hair for me is: sideburns, all the way down to my neck - area surrounding eyebrows, tasche and chin. Some thick dark bristles. The rest light, softer hair. But prefer being smooth as make-up goes on better.

I'm 25 and have a naughty black chin hair!

I am lazy but hopefully well groomed.

I get gel on my fingers and toe nails once every 3 weeks, once a week I do a fake tan of my arms, chest, face and neck (in summer I do my legs too. never the middle bit!) and once a fortnight I also apply (natural looking) fake eye lashes and get my eyebrows threaded.

I Use a phillips lumea hair lazer thingy which slows my hair regrowth

The above means that on a daily basis I shower, shave pits and wash hair (10 mins) get out shower and apply moisteriser while I brush my teeth (5mins) Make up (5mins max) is foundation and bronzer with tinted lip gloss. I then get dressed, tip my head upside down and blow dry my hair (10mins) spray of perfume as I walk out the door. Done!

I haven't counted the time I spend plucking my chin hair because I consider that a hobby and a sport rather than maintenance so theraputic!

Mmmm will need to look into this face hair thing... is it hereditary? I'll be inspecting my mother closely tomorrow just in case - unless of course I get it from my dad in which case I'm fooked!

Yy to chin hair plucking as a sport. Best location - in the car on a sunny day.

I don't do any "grooming" bar showering and brushing my hair.

I don't think I have "let myself go"

Bath every day. Shave legs, pits, bits every day.
Body lotion every day after bath. ( a bit of fake tan mixed in 2 or 3 times a week to keep me looking vaguely healthy.
Cleanse & moisturise twice a day. In the evening I use a serum for a boost.
Toe nails painted around once every two weeks. Don't paint finger nails ( never lasts)
Hair cut & coloured every 8 weeks ( sometimes a few highlights)
Hair washed twice a week, spray in conditioner between washes,
I don't wear stacks of make up, but my routine is a bit of foundation ( or tinted moisturiser)
A brush of blusher over cheekbones, & some lip gloss & mascara.
None of the above takes very long, and I feel I would rather do a bit of maintenance everyday than a complete overhaul in a few years time.
Oh and always a spray of perfume

really - that was me until a few years ago. Post 35 maintenance becomes a lot more important (for me, anyway)

Does it? What happens at 35 that means grooming is suddenly important?

I am way past 35 btw.

Wash hair every 2-3 days, it doesn't get brushed or blow dry or styled
Shave legs um, once a week maybe?
Body lotion once a week or that Nivea in shower stuff more often
Nails painted when I CBA, toes always painted
Makeup every single day, full face
Get my brows threaded and tinted and thread stragglers in between tints myself
I don't fake tan ever (that pale I'm translucent)

Can I ask how old everyones children are?

I have an 18 month old and a 7 week old, currently on maternity leave, rare moment on here whilst feeding baby and 18 month old is flicking through a book.... my current routine is as follows...

Try to bath/wash everyday - often don't
Hair wash and straighten twice a week
Make up - never manage to find time!
Shave legs/pits etc - when I can't hide it anymore and look like Chewbacca!
Nails - Cant remember the last time I even thought about painting them!
All over body moisturising/fake tan - before I had children not since!
Perfume - daily to hide baby smells

frig mine are a few years older than yours - in the '2 under 2' days I looked anything but groomed. Think Walking Dead and you're nearly there .

frig mine are 2 yrs (just) + also 7 weeks and daily showers are a laughable concept! Lots of hasty scrubbing of bits 'n pits at bathroom sink.

Ditto nails, which are frightful.

My main heroic effort at the moment is consciously putting on skinny jeans instead of tracksuit bottoms, and proper shoes rather than shitty trainers.

I do however use tinted moisturiser instead of regular as I do look much better for it. It may not actually get put on till noon, but still!

Why do I only notice a long, dark hair growing on my chin when I can't do anything about it?

I love this stuff and have a routine which as I am single is doable - it does cross my mind that if I had someone else in my life they would run for the hills if they had to put up with it!!

Daily:
am: cleanse with hot cloth, tone, serum, moisturiser, SPF, primer & makeup
shower and body lotion- I am 60 mins from alarm to walking out the door - reckon I could get this down to 45 if pushed
pm - double cleanse, acid tone and retinol alternating nights with facial oil

3 x week:
Clay mask and sheet mask,(hair washed on Monday, wed, Fri (Saturday if going out), shave pits and legs

Sunday night: hair mask - rinsed out on a Monday morning & at home manicure
fortnightly: pedicure
monthly - eyebrow threading - i never touch them between appointments - I work on the principal everyone's eyesight is as shit as mine and no one is that close to judge! Facial at the Skin Laundry in Liberty (super quick, pain free laser thing - brilliant as its a lunch time job)
every 8 weeks - cut and colour

Periodically have a blow dry before an event and can make this last about 4 days - keep thinking about a weekly one - still internally debating this! Manicure and Pedicure would love to go for a weekly one - but they are the two things I get really bored having done by someone else - however I hate doing it myself more!!

Best chin pluck - was years ago in car on sunny day, spotted what I though was a black head on chin bone - so only visible when I head tilted, gave it a squeeze and all this gunk and inch long curly looking pube popped out - must have got lost as it has never reappeared - I mourn its loss, nothing facially has given me so much pleasure before or since! - Pinkpoppy - carry tweezers in handbag - I do but think its wishful thinking!!

I have also dabbled with botox - I loved the results, I also have a very boring wardrobe - limited colour, lots of grey, black, white, cream - means pretty much everything matches at some level - I do see friends with lovely colourful tops etc and think that would be lovely - but I would look like a bag of skittles!!!

really - I personally found 35 a bit of a turning point physically.

My knees look a bit shit, so combined with stubble my legs look grim - previously (I'm fair) I could get away with a good weeks' regrowth before shaving again, now I need to shave more often when I have my legs out to feel confident

I started getting a bit of a tache, so managing facial hair is a new addition to my routine. I could not do anything of course, but that would feel like a "letting oneself go" type thing. I love Tom Selleck, but don't want to look like him.

I used to be able to lose weight easily by cutting back a bit on the treats and wine - now I have to exercise more as well as cutting back, as the weight sits on my waist and hips otherwise.

I have a tendency to bingo wings - until 35 I had big arms but a nice shape, now unless I do arm exercises I am floppy under there.

Etc, etc, etc

I found that the revelation that nobody cares what I look like means that I can spend as little or as much time on it as I please, since I'm the only person that actually gives a shit. DH is the only other person whose opinion I would care about, and he thinks I look great no matter what. The rest of the world is too busy worrying about themselves to care, and if they notice, it's a passing thought.

So I do makeup for work or special occasions, I remove the facial hair, cos it bothers me. I have curly hair, so wash it once or twice a week. Dye my hair when I get round to it. Shave the pits once a week, because it minimises the potential for smell, and while no one cares what I look like, I'm sure they object to bad smells.

Very rarely shave my legs, never moisturise my body, never fake tan, have never even painted my toenails, let alone paid for a pedicure. Paint nails for a special occasion, if I can be bothered. No one has ever noticed that my feet are untended. Or if they have, they don't say anything, so why would I care.

Not bothering gives me time to do things I enjoy. If you enjoy the routines, go with it, if you don't, stop.

My kids are just 4 and 2 (both birthdays October) and I'm 28+3 weeks. I shower every morning but only wash my hair every other day, I also shave my pits evey other day while I leave the conditioner in. If I wash it the night before it looks rubbish in the morning but although it's long its quite fine so doesn't take long to blow dry or straighten. The days between I wear my hair in a ponytail or a side plait. I used to shave my legs and lady bits twice a week but that's now a once a week job coz my belly makes it hard work.

I don't wear makeup on a Tuesday as I stay in on Tuesdays. Every other day of the week I wear foundation, powder, blush, mascara, eyebrow colour (I dye my hair ginger but am naturally blonde and look like I've no eyebrows without the colour) and mascara. I often do my makeup while the kids eat breakfast.

I use a cream on my face every night before bed and every morning before makeup but I don't use moisturiser on the rest of my body except after shaving. Hate the feel of it and I don't really need it.

I have my hair dyed and cut once every 8 weeks or so. Cousin is a hairdresser so comes to mine to do it. I always try to dress nice and lay mine and the kids clothes out the night before so it saves time in the morning.

I wear a daily perfume and have some for special occasions. I grow my nails long and manicure them myself, like to have them painted but don't always have time. I do two full colour coats and a clear when I do them and it lasts a good week, as soon as it chips I take it all off coz I hate how it looks. I do any plucking when I do my make up.

Can't think of anything else off the top of my head. I probably get up about an hour earlier than I'd have to without the makeup etc but to me its worth it. The rare times I've overslept and had to go out without it I've felt rubbish

I don't do much at all and I really don't consider I have let myself go!

At 48 I do the same as I did at 28, haircut every ten weeks, hair washed and dried every fourth day and just brushed in between - my hair is lovely.

Shower, shave the lower half of my legs and armpits, more when they are on show in the summer. Hot flannel for my face and moisturiser morning and night, tinted moisturiser, brow shadow with a brush with a glossy lipstick.

Face powder and mascara on special occasions. I don't paint my nails. Body lotion when I feel I need it which is not very often at all - I switched to handmade soaps a few years ago and the difference in my skin is amazing.

I can get up at 7:20, get showered/ready in about 8 mins, eat a piece of toast and drink a cup of coffee and be out of the house by 7:45, at work by 8:00! Drying my hair takes 20 mins extra twice a week.

Of course there is . I don't spend hours a day getting ready but have nice hair and clothes . I actually don't like looking too dressed up .

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread but just in case it's not been mentioned, I find the Nivea in shower moisturiser really really good. Very, very quick and easy to apply and rinse in the shower. Smells nice and does a brilliant job on my reptilian dry skin. It was recommended by Sali Hughes when it was first launched. I don't spend a great deal of time on general maintenance but this is an easy fix for those who don't want to spend extra time after the shower.

Those washing hair only couple of times a week- how do you get to that from daily?
If i leave mine 24hrs plus it's awful. And worse pre period.

I can't go more than 2 days without washing my hair (and the 2nd day it looks like shit!) It's luck of the draw I think.

Formerly catherine which handmade soap do you recommend?? I want to give it a try because my skin is like a lizards
Not sure if this is something I should be bragging about but I can go 2 weeks between hair washes!!!
It helps that my hair is slightly pubic and I wear it pulled back most of the time
I think it makes up for having to shave under my arms twice a day - I'm like a yeti

Plumstone might try your routine. I'd never even heard of a sheet mask!