Is there a middle way between "letting oneself go" and spending hours and hours on personal grooming?

[MadMadDonna]

Well, is there?

This weekend I shaved my legs and armpits, used body lotion all over, cleaned my ears, used a nose hair remover thing, plucked my chin and other stray hairs, painted my toenails, filed my nails, used hand cream, heel cream, a face scrub and moisturiser. And that's before I put any make up on. I have a childless, single friend who does most of this EVERY day and always has done and I must admit she looks great.

So I felt better for doing all that maintenance but don't have time to do it every day. I have a quick hair wash every other day and leave for work with wet hair which is dry by the time I get there but during the week I just have to let it go.

What do you do, how do you find a balance? I have my hair coloured professionally every 6-8 weeks and I have worked out a capsule wardrobe so I don't think I look that bad but honestly, the maintenance is doing my head in!

Tips most welcome.

at Forth bridge comment. That's exactly how I feel. I scrub up but getting into a routine seems to be beyond me. Picking up tips and inspiration here though.

You said it yourself that you're doing stuff to make you feel good.

If you want middle ground then you do the minimum to look good but not stuff to feel good.

So I shave my legs/pits every couple of weeks. Veet my tache once a month at most.

I use nip and fab pads most days as they're quick. I might do a face mask once a month. I can do my make up in five mins in the morning, certainly less then ten.

Don't use hand cream, heel cream or body lotion.

I've massively scaled down my expectations of how I want to look. I don't spend much time on my appearance at all now but I still feel good about myself, I don't look like I've let myself go at all.

I don't shave or wax leg/bikini area any more. Shave armpits when they're too much, about every two months. I have a big hair on my chin which needs plucking out every couple of weeks and I lightly tweeze my eyebrows every now and again.

I use soap and glory heel genius on my feet some nights and don't have to do anything else to them with that stuff, it's great. Sometimes daub nailvarnish on toes in the summer.

I wash my hair way less, probably twice a week, aiming for once a week. I do blow dry it and I use Lush's dry shampoo to keep it going. Keep it back most of the time but when I want to look nice I use heated rollers - takes 5 mins to throw them in and leave them in when doing my makeup.

My day face is tinted moisturiser, blusher, lip balm and eyebrow pencil. Mascara if it isn't windy. If I'm going somewhere I put bright lippy on.

Just cut nails short now, but use handcream after doing the dishes. Get nails shellaced sometimes.

I use body lotion every few days, a lot more in the summer when I've got limbs out.

But generally I just get on with my life now. I spent years of my youth spending way too long on my appearance and I regret the waste of time and energy.

I think most things on your lists don't need to be done daily. So if you split them up it's less at once.

Nails - once a week. Paint with kindle and wine ready for drying time

Full foot scrub and shaving - once a week in bath.

Etc

Another top tip on a practical level, is having a tray in the bathroom with all your bits and bobs on it, so it becomes automatic.

I have:
micellar water + cotton pads,
nip + fab pads,
tinted moisturiser,
a radiance serum primer thing by L'oreal which makes me look fresh as a daisy (which I mix with the tinted moisturiser on my fingers),
under eye concealer
Mac Painterly paint pot to cover red eyelids
Mascara.

So it's all bish bash bosh, 2 minutes all told and hey presto I'm half decent.

A girl I knew once told me that unless you keep your perfume by your deodorant you'll forget to use it. I thought that was genius. This is just an amped up version of that.

Ooh Elspeth i like the sound of your radiance serum primer thing.

Is it this?
www.loreal-paris.co.uk/make-up/face/primers-and-setting-sprays/lumi-magique-primer

Yes! I luffs it. Doesn't give you Robot Face like some of them. Just brightens.

I have slipped in recent months but when I am looking polished I do a thing a night in front of the tv. Nails, feet, face mask, hair treatment, eyebrows (3 times a week).

ATM I look rubbish so I'm going to start again.

30 seconds to shave arms and pits? That's less than 15 seconds a leg! Takes me longer than that to do my knees! I think if you are that quick, you're not very hairy in the first place!

Work out what are the things that make the most difference - eg eyebrows, hair or nails? Focus on doing those regularly so they are always looking good, then do the other stuff in rotation / as needed

Lol true allegretto I do not know the pain of the more well insulated lady.

I do far more every day than I originally thought!

I shower and wash hair every day. Usually shave pits every other day, and legs and fanjo once/twice per week. 'Tache removal cream once per week, eyebrow plucking every couple of days as they're a barren wasteland of overpluckedness. Moisturiser, body lotion/oil, and facial tanning spray every morning. Acrylic nails and gel toenails I get done professionally every 3-4 weeks.

Makeup takes about 20 minutes (drawing on eyebrows takes the longest). Hair, if I'm bothering to dry/style it, another 20 minutes (otherwise I just pull it into a wet ponytail). Dressing takes no time at all.

Every night I cleanse with micellar water and Lush Ultrabland, and apply fake tan to my upper torso - I'm far too fucking lazy to bother with the rest of my body at this time of year, unless I'm wearing a skirt.

I honestly had no idea how much I faffed with myself.

The trouble is, I look pretty rough if I don't make a decent amount of effort ...... and at 47, looking rough makes you look haggard!

I shower and wash/dry hair every morning. Makeup takes five/ten minutes. After a shower I apply body lotion - it's just automatic, and skincare the same. I lay out clothes the night before and hang them in the bathroom so no faffing about trying to decide if a pair of tights is navy or black. (Also I am so shit in the mornings I would be going to work in my pyjamas otherwise.)

On a Friday night I have a bath and do a proper pedicure afterwards, shave my legs in the bath etc. In the summer I shave more often, but while the opaques are on it's legs/bikini line once a week and under-arms every few days. Like a pp I do tache bleach while I clean the bathroom, and also use a facial hair trimmer thing once a week or so. Eyebrows are threaded once a fortnight and I tint brows/lashes myself once every few weeks. I like doing my nails, so am happy to do that once or twice a week in front of the telly.

Wow to some of this "basic maintenance ". I shower every morning and do legs and pits as needed -agree takes less 1 minute. I do do 5 minutes of plates every morning before my shower though (1 min plank, 1 min side plank each side and 1 min hundred) and run before work 2 X a week- I suppose it's a different maintained. Nails are short (am HCP) and only bother with toes nails in the winter. I moisturise every day and wear simple make up (bbc cream, eye shadow, lip gloss and mascara) maybe 3 times a week.

I've got a Lumea so hair removal is gradually becoming less of a pain. Shave once a week during the winter months.

Makeup - find a basic routine that works for you. I do the very basics - dab of concealer, sweep of mineral powder (which covers a multitude of sins), quick flick of mascara. I tint my brows so don't need to faff with pencil. Whole thing takes about 2-3 minutes.

Nails - DIY in front of the TV at the weekend. Don't bother with toes in the winter. Rimmel polishes are brilliant value for money and top it off with a coat of Sally Hansen instadry, which is very hard wearing and gives it a good shine, plus it means that you can get on with doing stuff (within reason!) without smudging your nails. I usually get about a week out of a manicure.

Oh and I wash my face with water (and soap if wearing make up)

I distinguish between tasks which are vital and taks which are just "polishing".

VITAL: clean, coloured/cut hair, body/facial hair removal, light make-up, clean clothes and teeth

POLISHING: Mani-pedi, blow-dried hair, perfume, properly ironed clothes!

Oh I forgot a 3rd category called: "Not in a fucking million years, life is too short" which includes: moisturising acres of naked flesh every day/fake tan/eyelash extensions etc

Interesting, some great tips here!

Oddly, I don't mind doing make up, I spend about 5 minutes on that in the morning: moisturiser, primer, foundation, concealer, highlighter, mascara, lipstick.

It's the Forth Bridge-ness of the rest of it I think. But doing bits at a time makes sense, so staggering it. I wear perfume every day but keep it in my handbag and use as I leave for work.

Agree with the relentless-ness of it! I ignore my feet and body hair in winter, get nails done when something coming up (love it and would get done weekly if richer!), use acid toners and serums daily rather than face masks and facials (little and often approach), ignore fake tan and body moisturiser, get facial hair waxed every couple of weeks rather than constantly attacking self with tweezers.

Is facial hair like an actual thing

When does it start??? I'm 37 & never had to wax/bleach/pluck my face (other than eyebrows)

Yes NotLady, you'll wake up next year with a random hair growing from your chin and then it's downhill from there,

I never moisturise my body, I hate the feeling of lotion.

Nails are short, no polish. I just clip and file, no cuticle remover or anything.

Pedicure every four weeks, red, lasts a month.

Wash hair every other day.

Foundation, powder, mascara, eye liner daily. Tidy hair up, including dry shampoo if necessary.

Can't shave as too pregnant at the moment. And it's winter.

In summer I wear fake tan which makes a huge difference.

Stopped wearing perfume because it made me feel sick in the first trimester.

Daily contact lenses.

Also, I look more polished when I'm slim.