Being a bridesmaid - it is costing me the earth for dd to be one!

[mousiemousie]

Dd is being a bridesmaid twice in May. I am thrilled for her!

Wedding 1 is a friend of my mother's who loves dd. She has not asked me to pay for dd but I feel it is for me to insist! The bill will be around £200 for clothes, shoes and accessories. Should I also contribute for the hairdresser for dd? Obviously we will be buying a wedding present too so this will be a pricy wedding for us!

Wedding 2 is dd's godmother who has only just decided dd is to be a bridesmaid. This wedding involves travel and accommodation. I can't really afford another £200 for the outfit for dd...but I guess I will have to!

Dp and I will not be buying new outfits but even so this is a big stretch financially for us! Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks for that LackofGravitas. Thought I had been living in an alternate universe! It was still on my mind this morning (must get out more ) so am pleased to have been set straight

It's traditional in the USA for bridesmaids to pay for their outfits. I think that's partly where the whole "bridezilla" think comes from. I was a bridesmaid there, but because we were all paying for ourselves, the bride let us choose our own dresses (had to be black and not low cut , but no other restrictions).

When I was a bridesmaid in the UK, the bride paid for my dress, and when we got married we paid for all the attendants outfits (on both sides). I think it's only fair, after all, how often do you wear green tulle normally?

It is usual for the bride to pay for the bridesmaid's clothes! This sounds like a huge, mad Bridezilla rip-off. I'm really shocked, tbh. As for the hairdresser...I'm speechless!

Oh, I see she has not asked for you to pay! Sorry. In that case I don't see your problem at all. You don't pay. Relax.

Sorry for not reading your post properly

My DDs were bridesmaids at their (v.much older) cousin's wedding.

The couple paid for both outfits.

I offered a contribution. It was very nicely but firmly declined.

Mojomummy - thank you, you are right. I don't know whether to buy a couple of dresses myself or talk to the bride next weekend. It really annoys me that for another £10 - £20 she could have got something decent for the dds, esp. considering she is spending an absolute fortune on everything else - they aren't on a budget.

Tbh I wish they'd never been asked, dd1 will cry unless I get the frocks changed and dd2 won't stand at the front of the church, she'll either scream until she gets to sit with me or hare around like a maniac - she's not even three yet.