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Original poster

Arrgghh, dd and bras

83 replies

Dancergirl · 05/07/2016 10:22

Have posted before about my 15 year old dd and bras. Basically she has developed my curvy figure but refuses to wear proper support. She is also VERY fussy about her bras making it difficult or impossible to find some that she's happy with.

She had been wearing these for the past few years:

www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-dd-plus-non-wired-t-shirt-bra/p1429176?colour=Black

In white and nude. However she had been wearing a D or DD cup which I know is far too small for her.

Her criteria were - not underwired, very plain, no lace etc, only white or nude. She won't be measured in a shop, she did measure her back size a few months ago which was a 30 and I'm guessing she needs around an F cup.

I recently bought loads of different bras from Debenhams online (including the same style she had in a bigger cup size) and left them for her to try. She said none of them were any good with the exception of one which she said was 'too big'. I find this very hard to believe looking at the volume of the cup.

She has now added 'no padding' to the criteria so that rules out the one I linked to above Hmm

She did mention a year or two ago about minimiser bras but from what I can see online they are all underwired. But I'm sure if they were properly fitted she would find them comfortable.

Any advice please? Her friends don't seem to be particularly flat chested so it's not like she's the only one....but she dances a lot so I suppose she sees a bigger bust not being ideal.

OP posts:
froubylou · 07/07/2016 12:13

OP I am large too. About a H cup at the moment.

Brastop.com is pretty good for bigger cups. And reasonably priced too.

And the most comfortable bra I own is a Royce maternity bra. It's non wired and pretty plain and functional with wide straps. Could you maybe get her to wear one of those? You don't need to tell her it is a maternity bra. But the maternity ranges are pretty plain, supportive enough for sensitive pg boobs and will meet her criteria I think.

I found bras an absolute nightmare until I acknowledged I was a lot bigger cup size than what I was (thanks to mn!). Can you maybe link her to the intervention threads, give her a tape measure and tell her to measure herself. Then if she doesn't want to tell you what size she is either let her go shopping on her own with you waiting to pay or let her loose online.

I have adult friends who refuse to accept they are wearing badly fitted bras so at 15 its to be expected.

BananaL0af · 07/07/2016 12:17

Good grief Confused

I'm lurking with interest as my DD (age 13) has recently started wearing bras and is quite self conscious in general.

I bribed her to get her to go to get first bra fitting. Also, many other girls at school are already wearing bras, so she wanted to not be different (bra less). The John Lewis fitter was very kind and at no point was my DD naked/topless, so she was less uncomfortable with the whole thing.

Victoria secret are fabulous...what teenager or young lady wouldn't want to shop there. My DD will not go into that shop, she finds it too embarrassing. I won't go in because I find it too loud and pink Grin

Micah · 07/07/2016 12:26

The dancers I know are going down the Nike crop top/sports bra route. Look more like crop tops, and often worn as outerwear.

Sweaty betty etc do similar. Might take the "bra" factor away a bit?

HooseRice · 07/07/2016 12:32

Back on the day I wore danskin minimiser bras. They're very supportive. I was a similar size to your DD. They were quite expensive here but could be bought cheaply from the States. No idea if they still exist.

They're a crop top really with lots of Lycra so everything stays exactly in place, even if you do aerobics or go out for a run.

Maybe worth a search. I had them in every colour.

teacherwith2kids · 07/07/2016 12:43

Just a thought from the 'dancer' angle. The principal of DD's dance school is a figure of great influence in our household (and quite willing to offer an opinion on pretty much anything).

Would there be anyone in your DD's dancing world who would be willing to influence her in terms of the importance of good support to maintain her shape etc?

teacherwith2kids · 07/07/2016 12:45

(On Victoria's secrets - teen DD and I popped into one out of curiousity recently. DD was aghast: 'How does anyone choose and fit a properly fitting bra here? They just seem to be selling them on what they look like."

That's my girl.....)

CodewordRochambeau · 07/07/2016 12:45

Reported too. Vile post.

teacherwith2kids · 07/07/2016 12:47

Is it just me, or is that Victoria's Secret bra badly fitted - too small in the cup? Must have lurked on bra threads too much?

HooseRice · 07/07/2016 12:52

Sorry, I made a mistake, they were called minimal bounce bras. Don't be put off by the name, they are magic.

www.planetdancedirect.co.uk/Dans-ez-Minimal-Bounce-Bra-Top

MrsJayy · 07/07/2016 13:07

Victoria secret made me look like i had 1 ginormous boob not flattering at ive no boobage to speak of but the ginormous boob unnerved me Hmm

Original poster
Dancergirl · 07/07/2016 13:17

Thanks hoose I might try one of those for her. How does the sizing come up?

The thing is, with the exception of this one, any other bras I buy for her I am more or less using guesswork to get the right size. And she won't let me check to see if they fit. So I'm wondering if insisting on a fitting is the way to go.... banana where did you take your dd for a fitting and how did you bribe her??

OP posts:
Blueberryblueberry · 07/07/2016 13:43

What about a maternity bra op? (Skim read not sure if anyone has suggested it) you could always take the cardboard label thing off the hanger it the fact it's maternity would bother her (thinking if you are ordering on line). They tend to do larger sizes and are usually plain and no lace etc? Should be fairly supportive too. They have plain ones in debenhams. Mine are nursing but they do a maternity version, think they come in a pack of 2? Hope you get something sorted soon. Also, (you don't have to answer) but are you also large chested? May be worth showing your daughter a too small bra on you and one that actually fits well with a plain tee shirt over the top (or photos of the above) just to demonstrate that you actually tend to look smaller/slimmer in a well fitting bra as it may be the thought that her boobs will look bigger is the problem.

Blueberryblueberry · 07/07/2016 13:45

Bravissimo would be great for a fitting if you can get to one? They are so helpful in there and tend to work on an appointment basis (you can show up but sometimes have to wait) so you could probably ring first make an appointment and explain the situation to them so maybe they could look at her first in her bra with a Loose t shirt over the top or something?

HooseRice · 07/07/2016 15:08

I think I had a medium size. I still have them but the sizes have faded due to them being washed a million times. Though I only wear them for exercise now.

They were also fantastic in early pregnancy when my boobs were in agony. They don't move in these things.

Mine are all over 20 years old (and were £25 back then in the UK). Money well spent.

Snog · 07/07/2016 17:50

We didn't use the fitters at VS as my dd didn't want to - she finds it cringey even tho she went to JL for her first fitting and they were lovely.

Having been fitted myself and being an avid consumer of the great advice on mumsnet from statistically challenged et al I felt confident to do the fitting myself.

For my dd bravissimo and department stores felt too old and frumpy for her. The stores she felt more age appropriate didn't cater for her size but VS new bond st is a great retail experience imo and has a teenage marketer brand in the basement called Pink at VS.

Dd gets a lot of compliments on her underwear from her pals which helps her feel confident about her body and happy that her boobs look great, her bras give her decent support and are super comfy. We also bought a bikini there this year.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 07/07/2016 17:57

statisically in your experience, do you rate Debenhams bra fitting? If I can persuade dd that is! Or is Bravissimo better?

OP posts:
Original poster
Dancergirl · 07/07/2016 17:57

Thank you again for all your help and support, MN is great sometimes (trying to ignore the nasty comments!)

OP posts:
hugoagogo · 07/07/2016 18:05

I bought one of those sumptuous soft m&s bras recently, very soft and their fitting guide on the website has been much improved since last time I looked.

MyBreadIsEggy · 07/07/2016 18:15

OP, considering your Dd is a dancer, has she tried Nike sports bras? I used to wear them when I was in the army, and they were so comfortable, but kept my boobs supported without feeling constricted - they also made what little norkage I have look non-existent! So they might help your Dd feel a bit less self-conscious?
You are all right about VS being absolutely tiny!!
When I'm not pregnant or bf, I'm a card-carrying member of the itty bitty titty committee, usually wear a 32b. I went into VS after I stopped bf my Dd to treat myself, got measured, and a 30DD fit me Confused off I trotted down to Debenhams instead, and came out with a pretty Ted Baker set in 32b Hmm

rollonthesummer · 07/07/2016 18:23

I've got a sumptuously soft bra from marks! It's the most comfortable bra I've ever owned. I haven't bought a bra there in over 20 years, but this is truly fab!

StatisticallyChallenged · 07/07/2016 18:35

Debenhams are extremely hit and miss unfortunately, a lot of them still do the old +4 approach. John Lewis would be considerably better if you think she could be persuaded in to a department store. I don't know where you are but I've heard that Selfridges are also pretty good.

Snog I think VS probably are fine in terms of bra quality as long as you're in their (restricted!) size range, it's just their fitting that is totally off the wall bonkers. Not sure if it's still the same but they used to measure above the bust Hmm

Glad to see MN have found the delete button, I was genuinely trying to be helpful

Wolpertinger · 07/07/2016 18:50

Teacher I don't think it's just you, I thought that even the model in the VS picture looks like she's achieving all that cleavage by wearing the wrong size bra.

I went into VS once, saw how restricted the size range was and promptly left again and went back to Rigby and Peller The fitting must be awful if they can only sell such a tiny range of sizes.

BananaL0af · 07/07/2016 18:54

Dancergirl I took my DD to our local John Lewis. I myself have been going to JL for fittings for most of my adult life.

I bribed DD with a lunch out (of her choosing) and something small (not too pricey) from any shop she wanted (Superdry, Hollister, Top Shop etc.)

One of my DD dances too and hasn't needed any extra support yet, but these are the people we usually buy from and these are their dance underwear offerings. They sell the minimal bounce crop top too, but it doesn't have cup sizes. I wonder what the fit will be like? I'm looking for sports bras for the 13 yr old but I can't stretch to a shock absorber for her, especially as she's still growing Blush

StatisticallyChallenged · 07/07/2016 19:01

Bananaloaf have a look on Ebay, you often get branded but last season or very slight second bras really cheap - shock absorbers come up a lot from proper shop sellers. Or, if you have an outlet shopping centre nearby it's worth seeing if they have a lingerie shop, ours has an outlet for shock absorber/wonderbra/playtex.

Wolper- yup, the VS model is having her boobs smushed

BananaL0af · 07/07/2016 19:37

Thanks Statistically, I'll take a look. The same rules apply for sports bras, don't they? I mean, if you go up a band size, then you go down a cup size? My own Shock Absorbers go really tight around the band after a few months and many washes, I think I tend to buy a slightly larger band.