Where do you start?

[Okay377]

I've had a tough time at work recently, a lot of personal stuff going on, and had a stinking cold for about two weeks. I look dreadful. Overweight, unkempt hair, bad skin with dry patches, hair sprouting on my face in places I didn't know I had it, broken nails, gnarly feet, psoriasis, broken veins, I could go on. Tbh, I'm so overwhelmed I don't even know how to start making myself look and feel better. Where would you begin?

I know it sounds really corny, but I'd start with some nice relaxing baths in the evening and some 'pampering' (for wont of a less cringe word) treatments - face mask, hair mask, foot scrub and that sort of thing. I think thats a good way to get into the habit of the taking time out to look after your appearance in a reasonably relaxing, enjoyable way.

If you can afford it, a salon manicure and pedicure will sort out your hands and feet, and then if you get a hand cream and some flexitol for your feet, you can do the upkeep at home yourself.

Whats the deal with your hair? Does it need a cut/colour/complete re-style?

Haircut! That's what I'd do first. It feels like a pampering session if you go to a nice salon. Have a nice drink and look through magazines etc.

I agree wholeheartedly with the adora above. Also, if it's possible, try and do something exercisey or just an activity. Going somewhere like the cinema or going to a class at the gym or some yoga, just actively doing something fun / not work / caring for children / family makes me feel better.

I can sympathise OP, I'm also tired, overweight and a bit down with one thing or another atm.

Haha that should have said "...with adora" or "...with the post above", not "with the adora"!

Yes agree with the posters above. I've just had a long shower, shaved my legs and deep conditioned my hair. Moisturised after shower. Then plucked my eyebrows and used a face scrub and mask. Once the mask is off I will file and paint my nails. The products are cheap, mostly from Superdrug. But they make me feel much better.

I also second exercise - I swim three times a week before work and it keeps me sane!

An Epsom salt bath and add some grapeseed oil: both cheap and your skin will feel great
Haircut and highlights
Eyebrows and face threaded
Facial illuminator

Yes to hair cut, also get your eyebrows done. Start taking an Omega-3 supplement, it'll help your dry skin.

I hope things improve soon

Getting your eyebrows threaded can be quite revelatory, so I'd do that ASAP. If you feel as though you need to re-think your makeup, you could start simple with a bb cream, mascara and tinted lipbalm. Maybe a bit of blush as well.

Definitely a haircut too, but I'd be cautious about a radical restyle at this stage. I think that when you're feeling a bit down about your appearance, it's easy to make rash decisions that you'll come to regret.

If your budget stretches to them, Footner socks are a good way to get rid of hard skin with minimal effort. I couldn't believe how different my feet looked the first time I used them!

Thank you all. That's hugely helpful and encouraging. jemima I think you're right - if I can I'll try and find time this weekend for an hour where I can at least have a long bath and do some basics. I think a haircut as you've suggested will help. I suppose I feel as if the hairdresser will hold their hands up in horror. I don't want a complete restyle or anything fancy, just trimming it and making me feel more human would be good. I once had have a fringe, which doesn't help as I suppose I'm now trying to think that's how I should look but of course if I don't get it trimmed I now have an attractive shaggy dog look I'm constantly flicking out of my eyes.

I could probably afford either a mainicure or a pedicure. Probably my feet are worst but because of that, same as the hairdresser, I feel a bit ashamed at going and them thinking 'Gosh, look at her awful feet'.

And lazy I am going to investigate those socks.

Epsom salts sound cheap and easy kennington

And yes, lady perhaps a bit of time on my own will give me space to start on the full horrorshow!

Drink loads of water.

Moisturise.

Eat lots of veg.

Sleep.

Second haircut and pedicure, plus eyebrow shape.
Really don't worry about what the hairdresser and pedicure people think. They're professionals and will have seen much worse.
Exfoliate and slather on moisturiser all over.
Also another water fan here - and it's cheap!

PS a lip wax or similar is also brilliant

Yes to nice warm bath with Epsom salts to feel nice and relaxed.
Shave legs, underarms...
DIY mani and pedi if you can't afford a salon. I moisturise hands and feet, use cuticle cream, file and paint toes dark red and fingers with a clear varnish.
Eyebrow threading is inexpensive but gives a groomed look.
Face mask, overnight hair conditioner...
Get hair cut in a style that works for your hair type. My hair is much easier to cope with when short so I've stopped trying to grow it.
Have a wardrobe clearout. Plan a few simple outfits for work and weekends.

What toffeeboffin said, basically start being nice to yourself!

I've usually had an overhaul after being unwell has given me a wake up call, so focus on your health both physical and mental, which is better motivation than "I must get thin" etc.

Also, some simple things as other pp have said, a good haircut etc. If you feel overwhelmed one small step/change at a time, it's not realistic to change everything at once.

I think the best way of keeping on top of being groomed is to find quick solutions and plan well - if you work and have small children you it's really hard to commit to appointments.

So I always book my next hair cut when I'm paying for the current one - you can always cancel if you can't make it but it's in the diary and much easier to get an appointment that is suitable in advance.

When the kids are in the bath in the evening I use that time to do some maintainace whilst watching them, like a quick file of my feet, paint nails. I always take my make up off when they are in the bath too, and use my night time products then.

What are you using on your skin at the moment? So very small changes could make a real difference to your skin within a few days. Some good and reasonably priced products which help get some glow back in the skin are:

Nip & Fab glycolic pads (wipe over your cleansed face at night)

Una Brennan Rose oil - I use this every other night to moisturise and nourish

Body shop vitamin E serum - helps hydrate the skin

Run yourself a nice hot bath, slap on hair mask and face mask, shave bits that need shaving. Exfoliate skin. I pluck my eyebrows whilst waiting for face pack. Moisturise all over. Trim toe nails and fingernails and paint with nice bright colour. Maybe a little gradual tan on face as this always makes me look so much better. If you can't afford to get a haircut maybe experiment with a blow dry/tongs/straighteners at home. If you don't wear makeup maybe just invest in a simple blusher which really makes you look alive. Oh and perfume makes you feel glam. You can often get travel size products in superdrug which are helpful if you've never tried them before and don't cost much. Small changes can make a big difference to how we feel and look. Good luck.

I was in a very similar situation a few months ago OP. Agree with lots of the advice already given. Here's what I have done (mostly via cheap deals/Groupon) to try and transform so I at least feel better and in control of myself:

Seen a chiropodist
Used footner after this (my hooves where bad)
Skincare regime (nip and fab pads, a serum, suncream, vit e face wash)
Weekly face mask
Had a cheap dry hair cut
Bought professional hair colour off eBay
DIY brazillian blow dry (£25 Amazon)
Keep my nails short and neat, and use Barbara Daly no more yellow polish, a gel polish (Rimmel I think) deep red on toes
Seen hygienist, flossing daily
Got a teeth whitening kit
Had HD brows
Tinted eye lashes
Lots of relaxing hot baths -epsom salts are wonderful
Coconut oil overnight to condition hair (pretty brazillian treatment)
Bought a brilliant blusher - Daniel Sandler flush and a tubing mascara
Lost 2.8 Stone Michael Mosley blood sugar diet (more to go)
Charity shopped all the "comfy can't be arsed clothes" I was wearing because I really couldn't be arsed and felt awful evey time I caught sight of myself.
Taking vitamins, fish oils, probiotics
Hand cream all the time!
Getting more sleep
No booze

I didn't do it all at once, and no bugger has really noticed (yet)! But I am pleased with how I feel and look. I'm also making an effort to plan proper outfits to stop me throwing any old crap on in a panic in the mornings. My situation is a little different (DS with ASD having an awful time at school) but it is nice to have something other than the stress/problems I'm dealing with to focus on.

Good luck, I hope you start to feel better x

Where do you purchase Epsom salts please?

Chemist, home bargains...

Thanks I shall get some.

Thank you. I know I need to get over the fear. I've booked a hair cut and wax tomorrow and am about to have a bath and frantically strim my verdant pubic area (tm) in the hope that they agree to wax me. I guess in my head I just see bronzed thin limbed beauties going in for these treatments and think they'll be shocked st me!

mrs you are totally right. I've done a bit of 5:2 and lost 7 pounds and then things slipped because of life. But I definitely need to be thinking about things as a lifestyle change.

Everyone who has replied has been hugely helpful - thank you all. I'll let you know how tomorrow goes...

Oh and I put coconut oil on my hair and scalp this morning - I have eczema and that has helped in the past with scaly skin horrors but I've been telling myself I don't have time to do it. Actually if I slap it on and bundle my hair up and can get on with things in the house for a couple of hours I guess it doesn't take that long.

Coconut oil is great for hair and skin. I put it on my hair at night and sleep with it on, I just put a towel on the pillow. Gives me lush hair the next day once washed out. I also use it on and dry bits. Putting loads of Vaseline all over your feet and then put old socks on and go to bed. Do this for a few nights and your feet become really soft. You can do the same with hands and put either socks on or cotton gloves. It's great as you have to do nothing but sleep.

Depilate face while you sit on the toilet! I keep the tweezers, mag mirror etc on a tray on top of the tank. DEpilate legs, underarms, while you soak in the Epsom salt bath.Make sure you get a recommendation for the eyebrow do over as I once got a horrific one. a Also a rec for the hairdresser. Get a make up free at a Mac counter or sim. DOnate any clothes that do not fit. And cannot be made to fit.Use Pinterest to help you figure out what you may want to buy. ORder clothes that can be delivered and returned for free or to the store if you can reach it.Have fun and let us know about the new and improved you!