I need a plan.

[FeckinCrutches]

I'm turning 40 in six months and I need a serious overhaul with everything, kind of like the old princessing threads. I seemed to have let everything slip and I feel dowdy and rubbish inside and out, but can't seem to get the motivation together, I feel on a total self destruct mode.

Main areas are,

Weight- a non stop battle. I know exactly what I need to be doing food wise but just fall off the wagon constantly. I need to lose 1.5 stone but keep putting the same half stone on, and then off in a vicious circle.

Alcohol- I have no off switch with wine. If I open the bottle I will drink the lot instead of having two glasses, I'm probably drinking 4/5 bottles a week which is buggering up my sleep and eating.

Sleep- This is totally shot due to alcohol and using my phone in bed a lot

Clothes- I'm always stuck in cheap supermarket clothes because I'm always convinced I'm going to lose weight and don't want to buy anything decent.

Beauty- I'm totally confused about everything is out there at the moment, don't even know where to start with serums/oils/cleanser/moisturiser.

I don't want to hit my 40's feeling utterly crap. Has anyone got any suggestions for stuff I can do to get a plan together?

This feels like the blues brothers. I have got the fags and car. Lets go.
Firstly weight. Ditch carbohydrates. If desperate eat oatcakes or rice cakes. Limit sugar, and increase veg intake, not fruit as it has lots of sugar. Fill up on beans, eggs, avocados, veggie sausages. Know that you will not see results immediately. Do NOT be discouraged. Stay on target. You WILL lose the weight.

I would go to TKmaxx on your own and try on everything you quite like the look of. Only buy what you love, not because it's a bargain or handy or it will do, you have to love it. If there is nothing there, don't buy anything and save your money for next time?

Dd harassing me so will try and post more later.

TK Maxx gives the jeebies. All that stuff everywhere I've got to get out of the mindset of buying size 12/14 clothes and being depressed as fuck. In my mind I'm still a 8/10 and it's hard.

Could you ditch the wine completely for a bit? Lots of calories in four or five bottles... A stone and a half is achievable before the big 40 wishes that I had that to lose instead of X amount :)

I believe in making small easy changes if you want them to last.

Weight - start by drinking a massive glass of water before you eat anything and waiting 5 mins to see if you still want food. Add 8-10 portions of fresh fruit and veg to your diet every day and give them priority on your plate over refined carbs, fatty foods and rich proteins.

Alcohol - make longer drinks. Put one measured, small glass of white wine into a massive tumbler with ice and sparkling water to make a spritzer.
Put a single measure of gin into 300ml of sugar free tonic. Etc.
start the evening with a long soft drink. Good ones are:
Virgin Mary - tomato juice with tabasco, worcestershire sauce, lemon zest, black pepper and celery.
Tonic water with loads of mint and sliced lime and crushed ice
Virgin mojito - apple juice, lime juice, fresh mint, sliced lime and loads of soda water
Pint of lime and soda, elderflower cordial or sugar free Vimto.

Sleep- Plug phone in downstairs. Put a book by your bed. Read until your eyes close.

Clothes- Buy three or four interchangeable good quality pieces that fit you now. E.g. well fitting relaxed skin jeans, a linen skirt, plain flattering dress and a good blazer. Add pieces that can be worn loose if you lose weight and some good accessories (e.g. floaty white summer shirt or blouse; sloppy cashmere jumper or cardigan, lovely scarves and summer sandals.)

Beauty- Depends on your skin type.

OP - like you I'm currently 12-14 with 20lbs to lose and tend to go for clothes that would have looked good when I was size 8-10. I find very plain versions of cheap clothes (e.g. size Large cotton vest tops and tees from Primark or H&M) coupled with well cut jeans and shirts and plain linen skirts look far better than supermarket clothes.

Are you me? Lol
40 in 6 months - check
I've always (or for the last 10/15 yrs) been a happy 8. Since quitting the fags I have ballooned to a 10/12 (it's a lot on a 5ft frame).
I also can't just do a couple of glasses. Sometimes I think I could, but am loathe to leave it in the fridge as gitface DH would polish it off. (I know that's irrational).
Clueless on skincare & makeup. Makeup wise I don't generally bothe, but manage to kind of slap on a fairly attractive look when I can be bothered. Weirdly it looks better when I do a half arsed job. I've tried following you tube videos on these contours/shading etc. I just end up looking like a meth addict hooker!!! (I don't think I have a big enough face for lots of make-up)
I know for a fact cutting down on the booze will shrink the waist line. I considered losing carbs, but cooking for the entire family (with 3 active girls) wonder if that's fair? The meals I provide though are good. My main problem is day time snacks & lunches. Very carb heavy - crisps, sandwiches etc.
I've experimented a bit with some skin care. I got some Lancôme samples (about £150 if I bought it - gulp). Happily I think it's awful!!! . Lidl moisturiser is perfectly fine. I treated myself to a "spa set" by nspa (I think) from asda. That's lovely.
Clothes wise at the moment - I'm going for tents
Maybe we should inspire one another. Go dry (ish). Eat clean & make a bloody effort

The booze is the hardest thing to give up, I know I've got a problem with drinking and I need to find some strategys to deal with this. My skin is very dry, the skin on my body at the minute is shocking.

I've got three girls as well Rick I'm very aware of not passing my issues onto them.

God you are me!!!

And I don't even know where to start with make up. Every foundation I use seems to 'drag' on my skin and makes my dry patches worse especially on my forehead. My basic kit is BB cream/benetint/whatever mascara hasn't dried out.

Skin care wise get a cream cleanser, use the vitamin e one from Superdrug. Massage into your face in the evening, then wipe it off with a warm damp flannel. Put a serum on. I like Vichy Aquilia Thermal (in a blue box), then moisturise with a night cream. A cheap one I like is Simple night cream. Smother your face in this. In the morning just wipe over face with a micellar water, use the serum again, the a moisturiser with SPF. I have combination skin, so my needs are different to yours. BB cream is great. Use a creamy blusher to give a natural flush.
Drinking the wine has become a habit, as has having the phone in bed. I would suggest choosing one to try and stop, then take each day at a time.

That's the thing Mad I'm worried if I try to do too much at once I'm going to end up fucking it all up.

What would be easiest to give up wine or phone in bed? The advantage with giving up the wine is that you would see (probable) weight loss and definite improvement to your skin. I am size 12, and I think for the time being embrace the size you are. Good clothes will help you feel good. Buy one decent staple that you can wear loads and makes you feel good, whether it's a pair of jeans, a skirt, dress or jacket.

If starting big feels too much, could you change one thing for each 'issue' per week?

eg don't drink till Tuesday night the first week, then Wednesday night the following week, then Thursday night the week after. Or don't have more than 5 bottles in the house in the first week, 4 in the second etc.

Then with food, aim to add one portion of veg per day in week 1, an extra glass of water per day in week 2 etc etc.

No point aiming for an all or nothing approach if actually that's going to be 'nothing' rather than 'all'.

hopefully that's a really nice way of looking at it, thanks.

I don't mind being a 12, but my stomach is just huge, a proper muffin top. I've no idea how to dress for my shape, all I seem to see is my stomach.
I think I'll start writing a master plan tonight I'm much better with lists and stuff, and feel pretty good if I've achieved everything I wanted to that day.
Hopefully you're right, I need to take some baby steps rather than changing everything in one go.

I hear you on the phone thing, and I've just stopped smoking and seem to have put in 5lbs wtf .... Am going to hammer the gym next week when the kids are back, eat nothing but protein and fingers crossed that'll get these 5lbs off pronto otherwise I know I'll be smoking again