Fucking Mascara!!!

[SausageSmuggler]

I don't mean shenanigans with my max factor masterpiece.

How the actual hell do I put it on without it going all over my eyelid? Doesn't matter what angle I stick my head it goes EVERYWHERE!! Help me before I chuck it out the window!

Is it too wet? I blow on new ones.

This threads a bit carry on isn't it?.

Oh I do love Carry On...

It doesn't matter how old the mascara is, I just seem to be crap at applying it!

I don't understand your difficulty, are you applying it with your feet?

I may as well be!

I do put it on after an incredibly strong coffee in the morning so maybe my hands aren't as steady as I think they are!

Stick a mirror under your nose and look down towards it as you apply it, then your eyes are almost closed. Try not to get distracted by looking up your nostrils.

You used to be able to get vibrating mascaras, which wouldn't help with the mess but would be better for fucking.