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Original poster

Funeral clothes for a three year old?

25 replies

SquidTableau · 23/05/2016 15:53

Not sure if this is the right place for this, I'm taking DD to a funeral where the dress code is 'smart casual, black with a splash of colour'. Choice of two outfits

A) black long sleeved plain tee with white floral trousers, or
B) blue & white summer dress with cardi (dress was the last thing given her by the person whose funeral it is)

I don't want to upset anyone so can people let me know what would be best? DD is three.

OP posts:
Thurlow · 23/05/2016 15:55

I would put her in the dress. She's a small child, no one is going to worry too much. Just something that's as smart as you can safely get a 3yo into.

FastWindow · 23/05/2016 15:56

I dont think anyone would worry at all what a three year old wears.

But i probably wouldn't personally take a three yo to a funeral. I assume you have no choice...?

FastWindow · 23/05/2016 15:57

Oh just reread - option B for sentimental reasons all the way x sorry for your loss Flowers

Voteforpedr0 · 23/05/2016 15:58

Does she have to go ? Or is it through choice ? If the latter I wouldn't take her, if she has to go I would dress her in whatever she would be most comfortable in. Nobody cares what 3 year olds wear especially at a funeral

Gruach · 23/05/2016 15:58

I am sorry for your loss.

No one expects a three year old to dress "for" a funeral, I'm sure. Certainly choose the dress if it has special significance - but there isn't a wrong choice.

Voteforpedr0 · 23/05/2016 15:59

Sorry for your loss

ChicRock · 23/05/2016 16:00

I doubt anyone will mind what she's wearing but I'd go for A.

Original poster
SquidTableau · 23/05/2016 16:01

Thanks everyone. No choice not to take her - funeral is at the other end of the country and we'll be there for a few days so I don't want to leave her for that long. Looks like the dress is the way forwards.

OP posts:
Fourormore · 23/05/2016 16:02

I'd go with the dress. I don't have a problem with children at funerals but I'm not keen on them dressed in black.

Helenluvsrob · 23/05/2016 16:07

The dress obviously to remember the special person who gave it to her. She's going to be a tonic for those grieving and a special talking point to help remember the person with a smile. Much better to remember someone for the lovely good things they left for those still here to smile at .

paap1975 · 23/05/2016 16:12

For me it would be the dress too, for the significance. As for there being children at funeral, in my experience they can bring welcome relief and help to have something more positive to think about on an otherwise very difficult day.

purplefizz26 · 23/05/2016 16:13

I had a relative whose funeral was on halloween. A kid turned up to the wake after nursery in a skeleton costume Grin
People wont bother about kids outfits Smile

specialsubject · 23/05/2016 18:29

Either would be fine - the dress if you prefer, also gives a talking point and a positive memory of the deceased. Ideally not a Frozen costume but beyond that, kids don't have to worry about dress codes.

sorry for your loss.

LookJustCancelTheCheque · 23/05/2016 18:42

Absolutely the dress. A lovely gesture.

RaeSkywalker · 23/05/2016 18:44

I'd go for the dress too. I'm sorry for your loss Flowers

fluffiphlox · 23/05/2016 19:21

The dress. (Can you buy black clothes for three year olds?).

Northernlurker · 23/05/2016 19:23

Dress codes don't apply to three year olds. The dress will be lovely.

teaandcake789 · 23/05/2016 19:44

Go with the dress but in all fairness she could turn up in a Disney princess dress and no doubt everyone will think it cute and put a smile on their face on what will be a hard day.
3 year olds don't have dress codes

Floisme · 23/05/2016 20:10

The dress but only for personal reasons. No-one will care.

I also think it's fine to take children to funerals. I know you say you have no choice but I wouldn't worry about it. Their presence can be enormously comforting - circle of life etc plus I don't think you can protect children from death. It's part of life and I believe it's best treat it as such.

Floisme · 23/05/2016 20:12

I'm sorry for your loss too.

Ilovewillow · 23/05/2016 20:40

I would go with the dress. We took my daughter to her great grandmas funeral when she was 1 and she wore a purple and white spotty dress.

Sorry for your loss X

Kittykatmacbill · 23/05/2016 22:15

I am sorry for your loss.

Another vote for the dress here!

Hagothehills · 24/05/2016 10:22

Very sorry for your loss. Flowers another vote for the dress here, her and her dress will bring some much needed relief on a very emotional day, hope all goes well for you x

Original poster
SquidTableau · 08/06/2016 21:03

Sorry for not updating. We went with the dress, and like a PP said, the older amongst the mourners were appreciative both of her outfit (one old lady came up to tell me especially how nice it was to see a little one in a 'proper dress and handknitted cardigan these days'!) and her being there so thank you everyone. DD was very well behaved for the service and the vicar did mention her & her relationship with the deceased so I think it helped our family to have her there.

OP posts:
SapphireStrange · 09/06/2016 10:24

Thanks for the update, OP. Sounds like it went as well as these things can, and that your DD's outfit added a bit of light to a difficult day.

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