I need a new me

[DakotaFanny]

I'm stuck in a frump rut!

Size 14-16 and on a (slow) weight loss journey, but all going in the right direction- i'm a stone down this year but have AT LEAST another 2 stone to go. I am a pear with a big bottom and small boobs (sigh!)

I have blonde, over-dyed hair, which currently looks yellow! Nice. My hair is very very thick and at about boob level. I am booked in to have that sorted next week and am going to go for a bit of ombre action, with a darker root (I have dyed my hair since about 18) and blonde tips on my layers. My hair is great when done by hairdresser, but, to be frank, I can be a bit lazy and probably half of the week I just bung it in a (crappy) ponytail. I would really like a fringe but I have a tiny forehead and a big nose, so the classic fringe would not work well for me.

My forehead is beginning to bear the signs of ageing, with some big raised eyebrow ridges (I'm a teacher- constantly surprised, clearly!) and pretty bad acne scarring. I would really like to cover both of these issues up, hence draming of fringe- but really not an option....

Clothing wise, I feel like I don't know what to wear to suit my age or my shape and I am not rolling in enough money to buy clothes where I'd really like to- I get most of my clothes from Next (you've got to love next day delivery) but don't really like it anymore. I tend to stick with jeans and a nicer top, but fall into cardigans by accident. I would like to adopt a new style, but don't know what...what are your staples and how do you add warmth without jackets (I love a going- out jacket but don't want to wear one at home or work). I guess comfort is my thing but really want to feel good. When I go out I think i scrub up pretty well, but day to day I am far from classy...

I also have really dark eyes, always have had. That's something I'd love to change too! Oh the list is endless!

So, to summarise- what should a 40 year old, overweight but not 'fat fat', pear shape wear?

What could she do about dark eyes and old scarring? And lines....

Can anyone give me a much needed boost?

Aargh!

Thanks.

Ps: trying to think of celeb whose style I most admire and I would have to go Jennifer Aniston- i think she always looks great- done up or done down- she looks fresh and happy always- love that she doesn't ever look over-made up and her hair is always gorgeous.

The jeans and simple white vest is a look I covet, but it does not work with chunky thighs, imo.

May I be pushy enough to bump this??

I think you are on the right track to get your hair done. It will make you feel loads better. Next skincare? I am no expert on this. Have tried various things. One thing though you could get yourself a good basic set. I have found the boots protect and perfect great. You could combine with a good treatment for your skin - mask or scrub. Clothes - Take a good long hard look at what you have in your wardrobe. Decide what you want to keep/throw out/not sure yet. Bare in mind you are losing weight so no point in investing in lots of clothes right now. Dressipi website might help you with your colours and body shape regard to making the most of your shape. Didn't want to read and run. I am sure others will have loads more advice. Mines a start :)

I'd like to comment, but there seems to be so much going on here! Clothes, hair, aging forehead! You've said what clothes you don't like, but what do you like? What's your ideal style? IMHO you cannot really ever go very wrong with a nice white shirt and jeans, chunky thighs or not,, so maybe rock that until you figure out something more permanent?

Ah, see you are a teacher. I sympathise. Me too for my sins.

I know, there are too many things I want to change- whcih is what has driven me here I guess.

Just feel crap...small steps?

Teaching, eh? This MAY be why I feel I am ageing prematurely!!

skincare - protect and perfect serum and moisturiser.
A cleanser and get yourself some nip and fab glycolic acid pads. They are meant to be great. Not used them myself but have used Alpha H gold which is quite good but imo not worth the price.
A good high SPF for Spring summer. Boots protect and perfect has an SPF 15 but you might want to get yourself something better.
Make up - good foundation. Try face atelier ultra foundation. Coco beau do sample pots. A little goes a long way.
Experiment with different colours of blusher. Depends what type of skin tone you have. Read loads of things on you tube/blogs.
Get a manicure or DIY it.

Coco beau is an online shop just google it and look up face atelier. Foundation is amazing. I love it.

As a change from jeans...........Dresses that suit your shape, leggings instead of tights, and nice flat comfy slip on pump, or flat lace up smart or casual. Throw a big scarf around your shoulders if cool.

Fab haircut. Well groomed with waxed eyebrows, top lip etc. Always a touch of lippy. If nothing else use cuticle oil to keep hands/nails from looking too dry.

Skincare: pixie glow tonic and an Emma hardie (hardy?) moisturiser if you can afford it (both available at m&s).
Definitely small steps, tackle one thing at a time. 😉

Have you got any clothes that make you feel really, really good? If not, then you need to focus on getting some! If you have, then what is it about them that makes you feel like that - fit, cut, fabric, emphasising/hiding certain bits? Doesn't matter if they are work/home/formal clothes - what is the replicable stuff that you could find in another outfit? I agree, getting your hair more sorted will help, but also what do you feel good in? I have massive body image issues, but I have a couple of outfits that I really like and feel confident in, and it makes SUCH a difference - I want to find other things that are equally cheering over the next few months.

Maybe ask your hairdresser what sort of fringe would suit you if that's what you fancy?
I'm the same age as you. Yes to Nip and Fab pads. I also like Clinique foaming facial wash and they do some good night creams for aging skin.
Have a wardrobe sort out. Get rid of anything that doesn't fit or you hate. I'd stick with basics whilst losing weight: couple of pairs of straight leg jeans, a shirt, t-shirts, bretons, trench coat etc... Use jewellery and scarves to add interest

I'm a pear shape and I tend to go for dark, plain trousers/skirt on the bottom then something brighter on top, preferably more detailed so it gives more balance to my figure. Also a nice necklace, embellished neckline etc to focus more attention on the top. I find that wearing heels, even a slight heel, help me to feel more confident and legs a bit slimmer.

High waisted jeans with a much looser top can also work well. For work, perhaps dark slim-fit trousers with a pretty shirt on top and a necklace round the collar. I tend to avoid tube skirts and midi dresses that are tight as they don't seem too flattering. However I have found that some things look better on so it might be worth having a day out shopping and trying on some things you wouldn't normally, just to see if they suit you. Shift dresses with tights and nice heels might be good too.

I think if you want the Jennifer Anniston look, avoid a too harsh ombre look - colour more subtle will be more flattering - maybe ask for a mix of honey in your highlights. Don't rule out a side sweeping fringe and if your hair is thick, keep it long to weigh it down but maybe ask for a v cut to thin it out a bit.
Bootcut jeans are back in and would suit you perfectly - try to tuck your white shirt in to a mid high waist jean to accentuate your waist and turn you from a pear into an hourglass. Get some funky ankle boots with a chunky block heel - maybe stone or tan suede - check out hush for style then search for cheaper on Zealand or Asos. Then as summer comes, get wedges - always a heel.
Instead of cardigans, get jersey blazers. New look, miss Selfridge, hush do good ones. Just smarten you up more than a cardigan.
Loads of amazing Concealers that make light work of dark circles - check out Kiko Concealer - fantastic coverage
Well done on the weight loss.

I always had dyed blonde hair but after it becoming increasingly yellow and having children, so bring crap with maintenance I decided to go natural and it's the best thing I've ever done. No more roots so i try and have a good cut but much easier on a day to day basis. I feel more 'done' and less of a mess. Works for me.
Also I tended to pile makeup on when I was feeling I confident but now I've stopped as it made me look worse. My skin has improved and I feel less makeup and more natural.

Thank you everyone. Nip and fab in the basket - I'm going extreme ... A wise move? My skin is far from sensitive!

White shirt wise, whilst it is always a look I admire on others, I think I would feel like I was playing dress ups. Would white 'tunic' style tops work equally well? Pull on over the head type blouses?

Will look into foundations etc, but never sure whether I am pale or medium. I do tan and have a yellow undertone to my skin.

So mich to think about but I am excited!

Have you tried a bb cream? Bb stand for blemish balm, and it is a bit like a tinted moisturiser, so great for everyday use when you are in a bit of a hurry. Try a garnier perfect blur one to start. I can only wear the fair one in summer, as I am so pale in winter. It adds enough colour, and the blur will help with the forehead wrinkles. Foundation wise, be brave and go to make up counters and get samples if possible. Avoid total yellowness at all costs . A peachy blush might suit. Are you on Pinterest? Great make up ideas on there. Acid toners are definitely they way forward. Get a cream cleanser like Superdrug vitamin e cleansing cream. Massage into your face at night, and wipe of with a flannel rinsed in warm water. Are you brave enough to go to a personal shopper? Never been to one myself, but John Lewis is recommended on here a lot. Pinterest is good for body types and clothes suggestions too.

I also use Pinterest (can you tell I'm a big fan) to find hairstyles, colours I love. I screen shot on my phone and take to my hairdressers, and she says it is really useful, so we know what we are looking for. Lots of people on here recommend coconut oil as an intensive hair conditioner, might help your parched locks.

I love a bit of Pinterest, yes, and in fact, found my ombre hair on there and took the photo to my hairdresser! Great minds.

Do you know what, I would LOVE a day with a personal stylist. How do you arrange such a thing and is it monstrously expensive??

What about starting with a personal shopper? Debenhams/House of Fraser/John Lewis all have them for free if you book ahead, I think.

MadSprocker, I LOVE your username! We used to have a MadSpringer (ex drugsniffer, so the current news about the useless drugsniffing dogs at Manchester airport are entertaining me hugely). Such lovely life-enhancing dogs.