Just wanted to report that since I started a new hair washing routine my (usually coarse and frizzy) hair has been smooth and soft - and others have noticed! It definitely works. This is what I've been trying :
Wetting hair completely
Coating hair below the ears ( away from the scalp) in conditioner
Shampooing the roots gently without piling hair on top of head - roots only
Rinsing the shampoo and conditioner out
Applying a small amount of conditioner on the ends of the hair
Leaving on for 1-2 minutes while I finish washing myself
Rinsing hair thoroughly
I then put a tiny bit of leave in conditioner on the very tips of hair if I'm blowdrying or straightening