please help me to look less 'aged'

[Winniethewylde]

I'm 38, mid divorce and feeling really really shit about myself.

I'm in pretty good shape and exercise regularly, have regular haircuts, colour kept up etc and wear a little bit of make up which I think suits me but I'm starting to feel really, you know, haggard. My skin looks dreadful, I'm exhausted and totally stressed out and the strain is definitely showing. I have lines all round my eyes, dark circles and well, I just feel/look terrible.

Can anyone recommend any wonderful products which will make my skin glow please? I don't have a huge amount of spare cash so although I'd love it caci is out!

Hi Winnie - sounds like you have a lot on dealing with the divorce. Always horrible. I bet you don't look as bad as you think. If you want to 'glow' a bit more, do you double cleanse with a balm and warm flannel? The superdrug cleansing balm is great. Do that and it will help with exfoliating so you should feel less grey. Then 'acid toning' - again, I think super drug or olay have acid toning pads. Anything with glycolic acid (or salycic if you have oily skin). Then add a hydrating serum (super drug and play are good again!) before an moisturiser with an spf. Should plump things up a bit! And try to drink more water. (I'm terrible at that bit but I know it helps....). Or go out for a few medicinal glasses of wine and a giggle with friends. I know alcohol is not great for skin but a laugh with friends will make you feel (and therefore look) much better. Besides, life's too short to be puritanical.

Hydrating eye serum too! Okay or superdrug again. Anything with hyalouronic acid in

Water.

In my experience it's the single most effective thing I can do for my appearance. 2L a day, I look all youthful and glowy and plump of skin. If I let it lapse I look like a walker from the Walking Dead.

I use Nivea Q10 moisturiser and must have picked up their Q10 Energising Day Cream by mistake last time I bulk bought it. Just opened it this week. It smells divine and it really does brighten the skin. Only about £5 a pot if you check who has it on special offer (usually either Superdrug or Boots or one of the supermarkets but never at the same time.) I've noticed the difference in a few days.

Agree about the water. And raw veg juices. Try carrot apple and ginger or pear and ginger, freshly squeezed by you. Sorry you are having a tough time with the divorce. Here's to brighter times ahead.

If you don't have much cash, local colleges that run beauty courses offer v cheap beauty treatments, facials, manicures etc. have a look at your local colleges and see what's on offer.

Also would recommend rose hip oil and eating more good fats, avocado, nuts etc. they can definitely make your skin glow!

One more thing, stress does show on your face so if you have time to do things like meditation, yoga, swimming, they can all help and make you feel and look more relaxed!

Oops sorry, just read that you do already exercise!

sleep and less stress. Easier said than done.

I agree with notagiraffe about the Q10 cream. As good as any cream from the beauty counters. Also find a good sun screen and foundation and exfoliate regularly , I find the Dead Sea Magic scrub from Holland & Barrett better than most that cost double the price.

What does make a difference to your skin is supplements - especially fish oil & evening primrose oil, drinking water, and a good diet generally - limited sugar and lots of veg, protein & good fats. No cream or treatment I've ever tried has worked as well as a good diet.

When I got divorced I did lots of beauty treatments once kids were in bed - manicure, pedicure, face scrub/mask etc to boost how I felt about myself. I'd go through my wardrobe & put together new outfit combinations and plan the next days outfit meticulously, spend time adjusting/ironing my cloths, polishing shoes, etc so I always felt I was looking as good as I possibly could. It eventually became a habit and now I would never go to bed without cleansing properly and I know exactly which clothes will go together well.

Agree with onthe rightpath above but add a face oil at night
Grapeseed oil going cheap
A couple of dots and I look pumped up in the morning
Sometimes I add lanolips around my eyes on top of this and that is great too
Both cheap!

Rosehip oil.

These ideas are all brilliant, thank you so much! I'm busy making a list of things to try. I already use rose hip oil, drink a lot of water (I run and walk a lot so I need to) and eat lots of nuts and avocados, love coconut oil too. I guess my main issue is probably lack of sleep and stress but I'm def going to be trying the things suggested. Can I get the creams/ oils/acids suggested on Amazon and are they any good?

A really good massage works wonders.

I was wondering about a massage or a facial. I was given a beauty salon voucher for my birthday and other than waxing I've never had anything proper done and the menu is very confusing What would people recommend?

Oh a massage... Definitely! I love both massages and facials (not that I have them regularly!) but massages will make you feel more relaxed and happy, sleep better and therefore look better. (And I still think a couple of glasses of wine occasionally with friends works well for the soul - water is great but a bit dull . Maybe have spritzers so you can combine the wine and water.)

If you find it hard to drop off for worrying once in bed, try one of the guided sleep meditations on YouTube. Goodnight Vienna!

Honestly?

Water and rich moisturiser.

And as much veg as you can bear

Also :

Sleep
Exercise
Good fats
Cut caffeine and alcohol (I know)

Yes definitely alcohol - I haven't had a drink for the last month, averaged a bottle spread over the week and I can't believe what a difference cutting this out has made to my face, particularly around my eyes, which look less puffy and face looks generally more hydrated.

Sorry to hear about your situation. After having my son, endless sleepless nights took its toll on my skin and I looked shit! I made the decision to invest in some better skincare so moved from brands like Simple and Loreal to Liz Earle and it revolutionised my skin.

Skin has gone from tired, blotchy and sore (from products not suited to it) to very clear, more brighter and glowing. Liz Earle do a trial/travel kit for about £20 (can get this online or in larger Boots stores). It allows you to try for a couple of weeks to see what you think.

I now use their cleanse/polish, tone, moisturise, along with exfoliator and they do a night oil concentrate that is nice over the winter.

Otherwise, along with others, sleep, water and reduce alcohol and smoking. Yoga is a great idea, but make sure you find a yoga teacher and practice that is on your wavelength. Trying to get to a longer yoga session afternoon rather than 1 hour would be fantastic and better than any massage as it will help clear your mind and allow you to relax.

After 35 I looked haggard. Gaining a little weight actually made me look a lot better. I'm better as a size 12 at my age than 8 (mid forties)

That worries me too actually. I exercise as it makes me feel good and I enjoy it but I often catch myself in the mirror and think bloody hell I look drawn and ill. I'm a size 8 and weigh 8.5 stone, but am fairly muscly with it so that probably makes me look worse! Oh God, I need a complete overhaul!!

Winnie I'd focus on eating more good fat.

It'll plump your face up and make you look less haggard.