Weight loss and confidence

[queribus]

Help me, please. Over the past year I have lost 4.5 stones. I still have at least 2 to go, but have dropped from a size 22 to 14/16 depending on the shop. I need new clothes as nothing fits me and I'm going on holiday at Easter.

But I'm having a massive crisis of confidence. When I was big I knew what to buy to hide or minimise certain bits, what suited me and where to go, but now I have no idea. I went shopping last week and cried in the changing room because everything looked terrible. I have no idea what looks good, what suits me or what to wear.

How do I even start? Any advice?

Try a personal shopper in John Lewis/Debenhams, I have not used them but a friend had her colours done for a "big" birthday followed it up with a new hairstyle and personal shopper - she now looks amazing all the bloody time!!

You can go in and tell them you are going on holiday and would like to update your current style - sometimes an unbiased stranger is a good opinion - not sure about the Debenhams ones but the John Lewis ones were very unpushy and super helpful - according to friend who books herself in twice a year - in fact thinking about it its the only time she seems to buy clothes.

Pin Interest is where I get my inspiration - does not involve leaving the house

I would start by figuring out your body shape. This blog explains them really well and offers some great ideas about what clothing suits what shape.

You also need to figure out your colouring, if you don't already know what suits you (warm/cool complexion etc) and personality style (classic, dramatic, romantic, casual etc). That same blog has lots of info on all these aspects.

Then go to pinterest and create a board of outfits you really like and could imagine yourself wearing (try doing a search with your body shape, colouring or style, or just Spring 2016). Try to analyse what your pinned outfits have in common, then go into a shop and try a few similar items on, bearing in mind those common criteria you've identified.

I went through something similar after I gained a lot of weight in a short time, do to medication I was on. My shape changed and it took me a while to figure out what suited me. I bought a huge amount of clothes during that time, most of which I ended up not wearing, because they didn't feel like "me". Eventually, I realised that the didn't feel like the old me, but that I'm not that shape any more, so I spent time on pinterest and people-watching around my city, and eventually I became more confident again at dressing the current "me".

You'll get there too, but it does take some adjustment!

Huge congratulations to you! You are me however as I had huge body issues after shifting 3.5 stone. I went to a JL personal shopper. I knew I could do jeans etc ok - it was the top half that had changed a lot for me. I went and explained all and I bought 4/5 tops. A couple I returned but it gave me the confidence to look and buy outwith.

For me it isn't necessarily to do with the style of top but more the fabrics I need to buy. I need heavier jersey style fabrics to look good.

Try them. Its a free service.

Thank you, all.

I'll read the blog this evening when have more time.

I had thought about personal shopping but wondered bit it might be a bit pushy? I definitely need tops and bras - my underwear is a disaster!

If everything looked terrible on you I wonder if you might actually be trying clothes that are a bit too big on you. It can be hard to get used to which size to pick when looking at the items on the hanger.

You just have to keep trying stuff till you find something that looks good. It's trial and error.

I lost 2 stone and had similar problem, I was used to buying things which hid my lumpy bits. Now long floaty stuff looks like I'm wearing a sack. Tight fitting stuff looks so much better.

Currently wearing a long tunic top which was one of my first post-weight loss purchases. It was a mistake, It swamps me really, makes me look a bit shapeless. It would probably look better if I was a bit heavier.

(Wearing today as its really heavy knit and I've been freezing at work).

Oh and yy to sizes.

I've gone down from 14/16 to 12. I still try on a 14 just in case. I have a mental block on picking up only the 12.

When I lost lots of weight the thing I found was that I became more critical of what I was trying on. When I was bigger, I was frankly happy enough if it fitted, whereas when all the weight was gone, I wanted everything to look amazing.

I agree, it's a case of getting to know your new shape.

Well done on the weight loss x

When you're in the shop changing rooms take photos of yourself on your phone. I think a photo gives a better idea of what you actually looks like as compared to your reflection.

YY to just being happy to find something which fitted. Definitely felt like that.

And I'm still picking up bigger sizes than I need. It's just hard to know what suits me. I coverted Gap clothes for years and when I finally tried some on last week, the dresses looked like a sack, sort of hanging there and the trousers trussed me up like a sausage. Both very unflattering!

I probably need to shop around and try loads on.

And the photo tip is good too. Thanks everyone