Help me look like this woman I saw in the street!

[HeyNonnyMaybe]

Trudging along in the rain the other day in flat boots, jeans, and sensible knee length waterproof school run type coat.

Then this woman hoved into view looking fabulous with her bob in a beany hat, egg shaped woolen coat, midi length flared skirt poking out of the bottom of it, woollen tights and ankle boots. She looked like she should be in focus at the front of a slow motion shot whilst the background blurred out and a Jacques Brel soundtrack played.

She looked fab, everything was coordinated in terms of colour, she looked really cosy but actually fucking stylish, rather than me galumphing along.

So, I've decided enough with the jeans. I want to look feminine, chic, perhaps a little boho. Not like I've just raided the rails of White Stuff or Fat Face. I used to be so much braver with clothes but now I'm mid 40s, short and a bit fat, so this could be a challenge. I'm aware an egg coat would make me look like an actual egg. And I don't want to be the sort of middle aged woman who puts in pink highlights and wears zebra print DMs because they're "fun".

Any suggestions of where to get the type of clothes I'm on about? I don't mean necessarily copies of hers, it's more about being more original and somehow, oh I don't know, lovely.

Watching this with great interest, as another fat(tish) mid forties woman who I'm pretty sure used to have a quirky sense of style and now instead owns thirteen variations on a Breton top and lots of jeans and sensible coats. Has anyone bought anything from Finery? It keeps being advertised to me on Facebook and in a fit of boredom the other day I gave in and took a look. Some of it was really quite nice in a Cos/& Other Stories way but I wasn't sure if it would just look ridiculous on top of middle aged flabbiness. I liked the asymmetric knitted neck tops for work and the wide trousers (I can't bear skinnies and am thrilled wide legs might be coming back into fashion.)

With long boots you invariably end up with a baggy ankle and a soufflé calf bulging over the top of the fecker

Speak for yourself! My legs definitely look longer and better in calf or knee length boots - not a fan of shoe boots at all despite the style, just make my short slim legs look even shorter and far chunkier than they are.

Ooh, thanks Crevice, lots to look up there.

Too much work to fit sleeves. Easier and cheaper to make them sleeveless so they can fit more people.

Have we solved the stylish yet practical coat dilemma yet? Its stormy and wet here, I'm fed up going out looking like Captain Birdseye

A good wool coat and a hat looks better than a waterproof coat, I think. For walking to work type of stuff. For wandering along Cornish cliffs or rambling through the Lakes, then a good waterproof looks better. Says I, wearing my Gina Bacconi number.

Actually, I googled for a hideous GB coat to link and found this. And everyone raving about it

I like sleeveless- I have goodish upper arms and no waist- in summer I have bare arms and in winter I like sleeveless shift type dresses over tightish long sleeved tees or polos. Sorry!

Ha! Tina is super stylish after all!

Arf at that capeycoat edith
Yes I like a nice wool coat, it's just been torrential rain here in Scotland so much I feel I'm never out if my mac. Its like a cbeebies presenterish bright bloody yellow which wasn't my best decision.

The Scottish school run

Oooh - I like those yellow overtrousers. Stylish and practical

Can you imagine wearing that cape up here?! A flash of thermal knickers as you went sailing up into the air - and whoosh, bye bye Tina Bacon capeycoat.

A flash of thermal knickers as you went sailing up into the air

I set myself a challenge to spend a week dressed in 'Vogue ideas'. I have loads of weird stuff in my wardrobe, so it was feasible.
One day I arrived at work in McQ wedge trainers, skinny jeans and a 'sport luxe' hoodie dress thing. That went down OK.
Next day I wore a short skirt, leggings, long boots and belted All Saints distressed deconstructed cardigan. Seemed fine.
Day 3 I wore a long sleeved top under a Ghost dress, with tights and ankle boots. I thought that looked cool.
My coworker pissed himself and asked if there was a power cut when I got dressed!

That Tina Bacon Jourdan link is hilarious. Written in broken English. Why?? Surely they have one staffer with good skills in a publication written in the English language. 'Sherzwinger'. Or is it a spoof??

Damn you, Tanaqui puncturing my theory with your toned arms

Not to mention my business plan for a shop that only sold stuff with sleeves. I was going to call it 'elbow room'.

Don't worry Floisme, when I get Gone To The Dogs™ off the ground you can have a concession.

It's a deal Hey

Maybe a coat shop instead then? I think I'd pay whatever it took to find a stylish, waterproof coat with a hood.

No such thing exists. I have a Nariko Craghopper (saw it on here) and it's very practical and a nice charcoal grey, but it's just not lissome enough.

I'm liking Noa Noa, and that Scandinavia fashion for fattie site that was unlinked to upthread.

So, I'll start us off, what horrors are gracing our lumpen forms this morning?

I'm in New Balance trainers, Levi blue slim jeans (they don't do them short enough in my size so there's a very un lovely turn up going on ) and a grey long sleeved tshirt with a slouchy neck. It's long enough to cover the overhang but clings to the barrelly upper tum. Lovely.

Mint velvet (sorry) navy and white stripy top (with sleeves) and a tan knee-length A-line skirt with buttons that I picked up on a whim in M&S yesterday. I'd gone in for a lemon drizzle cake.
I don't think it is too horrific; if I added a scarf it might even look planned. A scarf just gets on my nerves though and I am at home on my own, working. I may need to add a cardy soon.
M&S and mint velvet though. That's not good, is it.

Ha! I've seen right through you, a schoolboy error. Everyone knows Mint Velvet only do clothes in shades of grey, never in blue and white. You're head to foot in Tina Bacon aren't you?

I think Ms Bacon might design for M&S anyway. Per Una surely reveals her influence.

I do like the sound of the knee length skirt actually. Skirts and dresses are going to form the backbone of my rehabilitation.

puggle I'm considering the Jack Wills Alsop wool coat, it's £89 in the sale

I've had to adopt the skirt and dress as a result of none of my trousers a) doing up round my waist or b) having enough fabric over the bum to let me sit down. Sitting down is so important.
Also, shopping for jeans makes me cry.