Feeling frumpy

[withaspongeandarustyspanner]

I'm 42, a bit baggy around the middle, determined to exercise/run off 2 stone or dress sizes. I want to look less frumpy and more, well... 'hot' but not like I've tried very hard (particularly for a reunion this summer).

I'm 5 ft 7

I have dark hair and dark eyes. I don't suit yellow (does anyone?)

How do I do this?

Where do I even start?

I would say that you should start with the body you actually have...I'm sure you can lose the weight but for now you weigh what you weigh.

I would start by going through your wardrobe and having a good sort out, maybe there are some hidden gems in there, or a load of old tut that needs binning!

What sort of look are you aiming for? Pinterest is a good starting point for style inspiration. Maybe find some outfits you like and see if you have anything similar.with your colouring I bet red looks amazing on you.

It's hard to know what you should do since I can't really picture you from your description. Do you like your hair? A great haircut could be a start if not?

I'm the same height as you and I always try to emphasise my legs - they are pretty long and in way better shape than the rest of me! Find your good points and make the most of them.

Sorry if advice is vague. I really love clothes and putting outfits together and even though I'm a bit heavier than I'd like to be, I think putting the effort in is so worthwhile. Im sure you will be able to rework your look and look super hot for the reunion. Good luck!

I've just had my hair cut. I had been toying with getting it cut short, but chickened out at the last minute and stuck with my safe, mumsy bob, though I had layers put in. Today I didn't have time to dry it and it's rained all day - and you know what? It actually looks really nice. Possibly an accident, though!!

Yes, red suits me and I like wearing it. My legs are pretty good too, it's the middle bit that needs work.

I'm even considering getting a little filler/botox on my scowl lines (I look very grumpy!)

I have a serious Pinterest habit, but not sure what look I'm really going for.

Up until last Saturday I had the darkest hair possible ( natural but over dyed to cover grey ) and I've got blue eyes and very pale skin.
I went 7 shades lighter and feel like a complete different person and lots of people have said I look a lot younger i was 38 this week and actually feel younger due to my new hair. It's amazing what a new colour can do, it's changed how I feel about myself, maybe this is a possibility?

I've only just started getting greys but they're coming thick and fast. I had been considering going lighter as I saw someone recently who has gone a little lighter after being as dark as me. I'm a little unsure as I was ombred a few summers ago, and it went a bit ginger (I have a lot of red in my hair).

You could always go for a free colour consultation, that's what I did. Was worried I would lose my identity, I've always been so dark and actually I had to trust the stylist ( she was a colour specialist ) and she knew exactly what would suit me, it's not drastically different by any means it just doesn't look as "harsh" and I've now got a fringe which I love and hides a multitude of sins!! Good luck op

I'm growing out my fringe (I do this, then have it cut again) and that's a good idea. I'm not sure my hairdresser is a colour specialist.

You sound like me over the fringe! But it does look better on me with rather than without. I get to a certain length then get it cut again.
I think ridding the wardrobe of lots of clothes you will never wear again and starting over is a good idea and I say that as someone who cannot regularly afford new clothes. It just makes you work with what you have that looks good on you and more importantly makes you feel good.
I've also been looking at you tube make up/hair tutorials for new ideas and reading " look " magazine as quite focused on high street clothes/shoes/make up etc that is affordable. Sometimes I wear a crazy patterned scarf to instantly brighten up a plain outfit and paint my nails ( not often ) and this always makes me feel a bit more glam 😄

Well, yesterday, I treated myself to a lovely red bobbi brown lipstick and a new bra (I had a fitting) and they have both worked wonders for my mood.

I'm still trying to decide what sort of look I'm going to go for though. I'd prefer classic, I think, but I'm still just mum at!

'Mumsy'!

I'd go a bit lighter, experiment with the wavy look and then just spend time either magazines, TV, shops, put and about.... Seeing looks on people and then trying to transfer to shops.

Oasis online is quite good for ideas as they have women wearing their clothes (members of public post ideas) and also they have a style feed of what's being bought where... On that basis I picked up an amazing coat in their sale, a colour I'd not really good for (but it really suits me), shows off my figure etc. of course I had to get a snazzy new scarf (blanket Aztec print) and woollen beret/hat to go with it but anything was better than my brown padded fur lined hooded coat!

Also (works when it's quieter) go into a shop (Oasis was another one) and ask the SAs for help re an outfit. Although they're on commission they sometimes have good ideas. Personal stylist (I've never tried one) would be good. Go to a different range of shops from H&M etc to more expensive if you're brave and just browse and try on. Take a friend.

I think I fancy going a bit lighter, but the right shade - I need coppery and chestnut tones, nothing too blond, or not just blond because it did go a strange, brassy colour.

I've just looked on Oasis - there are some lovely clothes there. I often forget about them.

I have completely transformed my attitude to clothes generally after following various blogs by 40 something women- so much easier to picture clothes when you see them on normal people, and it's good to gently edge yourself out of the mummy comfort zone.

Have a look at

Mymidlifechic
Susiesoso
Myfashionableforties
Midlifechic
Styleguile
doesmybumlook40inthis

You will see all these ladies have slightly different looks, you will hopefully chime with one or more of them for inspiration!

Ooh, thanks for the blogs. I've found those really useful. I'm still not sure how I want to look. I think I don't want to look like I'm desperately still trying to be cool and trendy, but I don't mind a nod to cool and trendy, if that makes sense? I always think clothes look better on other people - I'm never sure I manage to pull off a certain look. And I can't accessorise for toffee.

I tend to avoid "bland" and anything beige iyswim. Unless it's super expensive from a Bicester Village Binge.

I find "go big or go home" is a good nob-frumpy motto! I've even plumped for super frump (midi granny plaid skirt, doc martens, plain fitted jumper and large statement brooch with statement lips) at times!
Following blogs and getting high fashion inspo has helped enormously in doing this.

My go to for not-tried-too-hard sexy is The Moss ... best beautiful leather jacket, charcoal top or tshirt and old/broken in but we'll fitted jeans - heeled statement boots/bag. Chunky chains, maybe a big ring.
That's about as classic as I go.

Not dead yet is another good blog!

Do you have the url for that? Google keeps bringing up an assisted suicide page...