Want to change my image, no idea where to start

[FondantFancy66]

Having a bit of trouble sorting out my post-baby image. I am now absolutely done with having babies and I want to look good, in a way that makes me feel good. I don't think I look bad most of the time, but I've spent a lot of the last four years pregnant or breastfeeding, and I'm now four years older and feel that how I used to dress doesn't fit. I usually wear skinny jeans and trainers/boots, but I worry I'm sometimes drawn to stuff that's a bit dull, for ease. I have no real idea how to accessorise. My hair is usually a bit of a mess, but I'm gradually getting a bit of a restyle and am getting better at getting my hair done every 6 weeks.

I'm rubbish at picking dresses for daywear. I have no idea how to wear trousers other than jeans or for work. I can't wear scarves or anything like that, and I'm a bit hopeless with jewellery. I sometimes like the look of dresses, but then think they're frumpy and I'm ageing myself. I only ever wear ballet pumps, Converse or ankle boots, heels for a special occasion. I can't think of any famous women I like the style of particularly. Maybe Drew Barrymore? I've always liked a slightly bohemian/alternative/Rock and roll look.

Any recommendations of wear to shop? Or how to get ideas? I'm 37, 5ft 6, size 12 (10 on a good day!) and have a curvy/big boobed figure. The boobs make me think I'll look a bit frumpy in anything! I just have no clue.

I recommend the website dressipi

When you open your wardrobe what's the main colour that jumps out at you?

I re-arranged my wardrobe from white through pastels, then grey/navy/red/green/burgandy to black+white to solid black.
Most predominant was navy and grey.
I decided not to buy anything else that colour unless it was an investment piece (like a coat or good woollen) that I'd get best wear from .

Easiest to start with (actually read the pre Christmas Princessing threads, lots of ideas there) are skin and hair.

It's a New Year soon.
Cull that wardrobe
Sort out your products and recycle or dispose of anything you don't use.

Get a hairdresser appointment for a consultation and start at the top.
A simple basic skin care regime.
Water (lots)
Get your nails into good shape.
Good underwear - huge difference to how you look and how your clothes fit.

If you want to lose weight, the magazines are full of advice right now (it's why I never buy the January issues: diets, holidays,horoscopes. meh )

Once you've got that on board you'll be ready to look at clothes.

Bookmarked dressipi, thanks.

Predominant colour is black. This is what I mean about dull. I like black, but how to make it interesting. I rarely wear white or cream - always think it goes a bit grey looking and gets sweat stains under the arms - lovely!

I do need a better skincare regime. I cleanse and moisturise properly. I'd love to have absolutely glowing skin, but am sceptical of products claiming to do that. I probably need a make up lesson too. Anyone have recommendations as to where to go for those?

I feel a bit like you OP. I agree with the pp who said to start with hair, culling wardrobe, getting on top of skincare and nails and then look at clothes.
Really look at what clothes you like/are drawn to/and what you feel great in. Once you've sorted out what you already have that you want to keep Then go to a department store and use the personal shopper service or take an honest and interested friend or family member and try loads of stuff on. Get them to pick stuff for you and go with an open mind. I plan to do this once I'm down to my goal weight. After a few years and having a baby your style and what you are comfortable in entirely changes! It is like starting all over again. Good luck!

I just signed up to dressipi.

I put in my exact details, and i will share i am 5.4 and. 8 stone.

Size 8.

It recommended me a skirt from Simply Be.

Only available from size 12 up.

A plus size site.

Tripe - the website is great but it makes recommendations from a huge range of stores - that's why it asks you to love or x each recommendation - it then uses this data to improve future recommendations.

I've just done the dressipi...........................................................................................................................

yeah right

it wants me in leather skirts and teal green (I detest teal and any shade of green except hunter green )

I am bemused then as to why it asked my height and weight if they are directing me to sites for plus size women.

Its not about style at all, my query.

I really liked the skirt suggestion but from Simply Be.

I call bullshit on the whole thing, i bet it tailors fuck all to you just gets the cash from the re-direction.

I've never had anyuck with that site myself. Always seems to recommend cheap and nasty looking things and not always ones suitable for my size. Perhaps I haven't used it right.
And Simply Be isn't stylish IMO- polyester heaven.

any luck!

I've been pondering more about this, and I think what I'm after is to look groomed. Not necessarily smart enough to be a lawyer, or overtly feminine with perfect hair, but just put together in a nice way. The hair I'm working on, but where do groomed 30 somethings shop? Is it easy to do groomed without heels? Can you be a bit boho and still be groomed? And can you do it without a huge budget?

Pass on the 30 somethings as I'm not. Definitely possible to be groomed in flats, specially nowadays. And to be a bit boho. The French are good at that and even have a word for it.

Sorry - word is 'bobo'.

Don´t be afraid of white! Stick to inexpensive white tops or shirts from places like H&M, Zara, the supermarket ranges and replace them regularly, when they start to go yellowy.

IMO the very worst thing you can do is try to be something you aren't. If you weren't groomed before babies you will struggle to achieve and maintain it because it doesn't come naturally to you (not a bad thing btw!!). Perhaps "finished" is a better word?

I possibly am a bit similar to you style-wise, maybe a bit 'girlier' as I wouldn't wear converse, and I hate wearing heels. I find I feel most happy, confident etc when my hair is at its best (incidentally that is loose and a bit wild), I have some simple jewellery on, and my clothes are neat and simple. Painted nails are a plus if I'm not working.

I do struggle with liking stuff that is a bit young for me though

I recently realised I feel more grown up if I wear interesting flats, not just new look ballet pumps. Preferably something with almond shaped toes, too pointy is harsh on me.

Anyway, I'm rambling a bit! I would also recommend Pinterest for inspiration. Get on there and search boho or some other keyword and pin the looks you like AND think you would wear. It'll make you more aware of your style.

Oh and you don't need loads of money. Just be sensible and spend wisely.

I'm a tall size 12. I'm thin, so it amuses me greatly to be described as 'plus size' by Tripe.

OP re the comment that your boobs will make you look frumpy what bra size do you think you are and who fitted you? I know it's said repeatedly on here, but a well fitted bra makes such a difference.

I'm well-fitted, bra wise. Well, not at the moment, just finished breastfeeding (forever! Yes, yes, yes!!!!!) so planning on going in a month or so to give everything a chance to settle down. I was a 30g before. I just think a lot of things look frumpy. Maybe it's to do with my proportions too, I seem to look a bit stumpy despite not being short.

Is there anything in your wardrobe that you love wearing? That you feel great in, suits you, feels comfortable, like 'you'?

OP, I am 5'6", size 14, biggish books and two years ago I was 38 and felt frumpy in everything and didn't know what to buy or how to shop.

Getting a consultation at House of Colour was the best thing I ever did for my self confidence. Amazing. I got friends and family to chip in for vouchers for my birthday. Truly a brilliant investment in myself.

I quite like skinny jeans. I feel comfortable, got navy and black ones. I like knitted dresses. I prefer low necks to high ones. Longer line tops.

I never wear maxi skirts or dresses, tops that you can't wear a bra under, polo necks, baggy trousers, leggings with anything other than a dress.

There have been some great suggestions here. I particularly like the advice about hair and nails. Also Why not go to a few makeup counters for makeovers and advice on how to get that glow. Do not buy anything on the spot (tell them in advance you are shopping around and will not buy that day) but ask for a product sheet so you can take your time deciding and only buy products you love and wiLl actually use. I would recommend MAC, Benefit or BObbi Brown for on trend products and a youthful approach. Even in my 50s I find the more traditional brands such as Clinique/Estée Lauder with their scary make-up ladies intimidating!

I would also recommend making an appointment with a John Lewis personal shopper if they are convenient for you. They are great and there is no charge. They will listen to you talk about what you normally wear, what changes you would like and also respect any budget considerations. There is no obligation to buy (although if you did buy something and then change your mind at home you could return it). They know their stock inside out and for me and my mum have regularly come up with great outfits that I would never have considered or even noticed on the shop floor.

I went through a similar crisis of fashion confidence when I was a new mum but over 20 years on I am now confident with my sense of style and feel well dressed and well groomed whenever I make the effort, something I never had when I was younger. Listen to some experts, then accept the advice that strikes a chord and set the rest aside. (I once saw an image consultant who told me never to wear sparkly eyeshadow. I followed her advice slavishly for about 15 years but I now know that a bit of glimmer and shine suits me and makes me happy).

Pinterest for ideas!

Nettle pretty sure it wasn't you Tripe was describing as 'plus size' it was the website she had been directed to by the Dressipi site (proving the point it's a load of cobblers). :)

As it's winter, have you considered dresses with knee high boots and opaque tights? I feel much better in dresses this way than in summer with bare legs or sheer tights. Boots can be totally flat and v comfy.