All I Want For Crepemas Is Youth

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Phew

Rose - I'm sure you'd be fab at M&S . She changed two of her answers and of course feels it is these two that made all the difference. We'll wait for feedback.

I'm pleased to say our Jewish friends ate everything I put in front of them for Christmas dinner except the bread sauce - their son also looked very enviously at the pigs in blankets and said to DS that he wished he could have one. I think he may stray slightly when his father is not around .

It is horrible not to be introduced by one's DH or to be belittled by DH - the riot act would be read here.

Re decluttering, I have LOADS of stuff, which admittedly does get everywhere but I know where everything is. At my most anal I have an alphabetised spice drawer, and my least a chair piled high with clothes in 'my' corner.

DP has less stuff, but no respect for mine, and just stuffs it into any available bit of furniture. So I can never find anything. He also doesn't put things in the right 'place', so can never find the, for example, sellotape, so then buys more, so we end up with five rolls of sellotape, and then he complains about clutter. See also: pens, shoes, jars of mayonnaise...

Going off the idea of Kew. It will take over an hour each way, and will mean DS won't get to bed until at least 9.30. And probably won't enjoy it, due to rain.

A night in would be nice. DP and I haven't really seen each other since Boxing Day.

Re rude DH's, I sometimes don't introduce DP to acquaintances we bump into, but only because I can't remember their name!

Kondoing helped me declutter - woo stuff and all - and like Rudy I still fold stuff in the Kondo way and it's def. clearer. DH has less stuff than me but is very averse to getting rid of anything.

Re being rude/introductions - I frequently get this sort of thing wrong because I continue to be gauche however old I get and however much I understand in theory. Maybe that's going on with some DHs?

Herbs your DPs tidying sounds like my DHs.

My DH isn't rude about me to others, but you have to be able to take the banter in our house Some banter goes on in public too. Both ways.

BIL and new (and v nice) gf have come round to PILs and we are going round to visit other BIL who is severely learning and physically disabled.

I have the Kondo book... it's somewhere amidst the piles of shit here. DH has finally agreed that we should put a load of stuff in storage so that we can decorate and get the place straight. It has only taken him two years to agree to this.

Am thinking of taking myself off to New York for a long weekend for my birthday, on my own, and asking DH and the DDs to contribute to the flights. As they never know what to get me, and always buy something last minute from my Amazon wishlist or something completely random, this seems like a good solution to me. I have good friends that I could stay with.

Good idea, MrsS.

I feel I should balance the books by saying that I came in tired and achy, and DP promptly ran me a bath, lit candles and poured in nice bath stuff.

Did he turn down the bed... [snigger]

MI.

I just feel utterly taken for granted here, all of the time, by everyone. Like when I came home after an 11 hour flight and a tube journey that took forever, and was immediately asked what was for dinner. The lack of thought or consideration that goes into buying me presents, or not. The number of times I get a present and told "I didn't know what to get you... I'll get you your main present later". And the main present never appears, but my collection of books on the Holocaust (why?) gets ever larger.

DD1 had said that she would cook dinner tomorrow night, but has now decided she doesn't want to after all. Am tempted to go out, as have access pass for near the London Eye so could watch the fireworks.

I think he's hoping I'll turn it down for him. Rose.

MrsS, they are ARSES. Go out. And have dinner first.

Do both New York and the London eye Mrs s. It might not shock your ungrateful family into action, but at least you'd be enjoying yourself and not being moaned at.

MrsS,

I have spent the last 40 years educating DH in social niceties - the problem was that his DM died when he was 14, and his DF had no skills in that direction at all. DH is quite civilised now.

BTM, I love those calendars/albums. Have a pleasant visit.

Hatty, my DD wrote to local solicitors to ask for work experience in the summer holidays before she went off to do her Law degree, and ended up working for about two months. Not sure whether anything like that would help your DD.

Rose, enjoy your mini break - the waves must have been spectacular.

Stropps, how is DD atm?

Our NYE will, I think, consist of a Chinese takeaway, either here alone, or round at DD's - her ILs are up and we get on with them quite well (as does she!). On NYD we're all off out to a naice hotel for afternoon tea - there will be fourteen of us which includes the four DGC.

I've agreed to watch the second Star Wars movie. I knew there was a catch.

Oh dear, MrsS, I feel you should sub-contract some arse-kicking to me. I have had loads of practice. I gave dh a cookbook for Christmas and am expecting more than just a tragic Birdseye supper when I get home after work. And after a year when dd refused to acknowledge anyone's birthday At All and didn't buy a single card or present, she came good at Christmas and got me some lovely earrings and a box of l'occitane bath stuff. And she also got ds a nice Star Wars mug and a figure for his Lego Dimensions xbox game and even got dh some things which he appreciated.
Well, after posting about my anti-Kondo feelings early, I decided to put my money where my mouth is and do some serious decluttering. I have just thrown out a collection of my teeth, which the lazy-arse 1970s tooth fairy couldn't be bothered to collect. And, erm, a bunch of other stuff that has survived multiple house moves and a couple of country/continent moves. Whyyyyyy did I think it a good idea to bring "safety" matches back from Borneo?? I just tried to light a candle with one and it was like a bloody indoor firework, except more dangerous.
I am trialling that stacking your stuff in drawers horizontally rather than vertically thing. Trouble is, I have ridiculously deep and heavy Victorian drawers (inherited from my granny) and Kondo clearly doesn't take these kinds of problems into account . Have also decided it's time to do an audit of the contents of all the weird little silver boxes that came with Granny's furniture. There is a splendid collection of random keys and Victorian hatpins and unidentifiable knick-knacks. Hard to throw it out, as it has been hanging around for at least 100 years, but I'm pretty sure Ms Kondo would want me to kiss it all goodbye.

And, just to add insult to injury, someone has eaten my Terry's Chocolate Orange. They have left me two segments.

And no, I have no idea how dd could be mad as a box of frogs for such an extended time before Christmas and then suddenly do a 180 degree turnabout and do perfectly nice Christmas shopping, but I am obvs taking it as a Good Sign. I may need reminding of this next week.

x-posts, just about everyone.

EXPLODE THEIR SLATS, MRS S.

They are the most appalling bunch of bastards.

My dh has no clue about social niceties. His tactics are just to try and avoid all social situations. I frequently have to smooth things over with other people, as he appears to think people will just somehow know that he doesn't mean to be rude. Except they don't.

Auriga try the Hotel Josephine in the 9th arrondisement, not far from Gare du Nord if you are going by Eurostar. Www.hotel-Josephine.com
Josephine as in Baker . Ask for the top floor room with little roof balcony . Lovely small and quirky boutique hotel .

That is a hanging offence MrsS. Off with their heads, I say. Look lovely lady...you deserve better but I have to be honest and say I do my fair share of ranting about this sort of thing chez nous, they don't like the noise....(good at voice projection, me...) but I get absolutely fx*#ing nowhere. In fact they get worse. Options to unsettle the buggers....

Going out a lot on your own
Not having the required gear ready when they need it...no ironed shirts, clean knickers etc
Hiding the router
Withholding conjugal relations from DH but wearing sexy clothes when going out alone.
Finding an all consuming hobby ( my lot hated it when I was involved in teaching three choirs)
Find a male colleague to work intensively on a project out of hours and making sure DH knows about it.

I always wanted to stay in the Hotel Chopin Auriga. It is probably not very nice but it looks wonderful!

It looks like the sort of place you would go to with a lover, to have hot sex, and emerge, to have something nice to eat in a little bistro in one of the passages before becoming overcome with lust and returning to bed with a bottle of Champagne.

I had several dirty weekends here (not Paris) in my wild and mis spent youth with several different men.

I need a Hello Rabbi dress, don't I, Rose? And I already have the male colleague...

MrsS Rose and Herbs are right. You need to down tools and up the stakes....

Makes me realise despite the fact I could murder Dp on occasions that he actually isn't too bad.....

Off to bed - tres early start tomorrow...