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Original poster

Mission Crepe: no surrender

999 replies

Collymollypuff · 02/11/2015 22:56

Here ya go...

OP posts:
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9
CointreauVersial · 03/11/2015 17:24

Aah! Happy Days! A working tablet with a nifty keyboard so my words can flow unhindered by touchscreen tantrums.

The last couple of weeks has been hectic, but with some enjoyable interludes: DH and I took ourselves off to Gunwharf Quays in Portsmouth just before half term, and put most of the Christmas shopping to bed (and had the most divine lunch at Jamie's Italian - where have you been all my life?). And last Friday we came into London, dropped the girls in Oxford Street while we explored Borough Market and went to Vinopolis, which has been on our to-do list for years. Floated home on a cloud of vino and absinthe - all very pleasant. Half term was the usual blur (DCs in PJs and not a lot of homework or revision done), and here we are again, back at the coalface.

The only other news is that after a good eight weeks avoiding DS's XGF's overly invested mum, I finally succumbed to her insistent demands to meet for coffee ("I need some sort of closure"), where she spent 30 minutes rambling on about the whys and wherefors of their relationship breakdown, while I gave a few bland responses and tried not to look at my watch too many times. Honestly, I have no idea why she won't let it go. The sad thing is, XGF has adjusted her sixth form choices specifically to avoid DS, even though this is nearly a year away, and it deprives her of the option of one of the best sixth forms in the area.

BeachysFlipFlops · 03/11/2015 18:07

Darling, you are not a 'frustrated professional', you ARE a professional playwright (almost).....

BeachysFlipFlops · 03/11/2015 18:08

Sorry that was to Rose!

hattymattie · 03/11/2015 18:23

Gosh - CV - maybe that is why theXGF's mother is going on - I can't believe she's compromising her education because of a teenager split up.

What - sounds really tough with DS.

BD - we're here for you.

WAF - so sad for you - deepest sympathy Flowers

Had a lovely lunch today with a friend over from Australia. Such a shame it's not nearer - it would be lovely to visit her - sounds beautiful where she lives and really chilled.

Blackduck · 03/11/2015 18:59

Okay I just need to get this out there - not really expecting a response.
I headed up a team of three and the work was split (largely) into two areas with two people dealing with one (more students) and the third person dealing with the other area. Actually what they do is largely identical, it's more about volume. So I lost one member of staff from the first area and the remaining person is now really trying to do two jobs.

The other team member has always been 'difficult' and not a team player so whilst she has conceded a bit, it's not enough. I know I will have to bit the bullet and have some very difficult conversations because I think I need to divide work up along type rather than programme. Problem is I also know 'difficult' person will work at her own speed and I think I will end up micromanaging.

So currently I have one member of staff venting and I feel bloody incompetent as a manager. And I know something has to give.

And breath.

MrsSchadenfreude · 03/11/2015 20:37

Yes, BD, be directional, set targets, deadlines, monitor outputs, divide up work differently, making it clear why this is being done. If Difficult Team Member is slow and unhelpful after a while, performance improvement procedures need to be implemented, I would think. Good luck with that. Have some Wine. Lots of it. And Cake.

CV - did you not ask this mad woman why she was becoming so overly invested in what was always going to be a short lived teenage romance?

My mother sent DH a birthday card which says "Dear son-in-law, we always wondered why it was that you wanted to marry our daughter and become a member of our family. Now we've worked it out. It must be because you thought we were rich!" WTAF? Is that more offensive to me or him? I can't work it out. (They have never, ever got on.)

Blackduck · 03/11/2015 20:42

MrsS Shock I am not sure what to make of your dmums card.....
I think she has managed to insult you both there - no mean feat! What did DH say?

MrsSchadenfreude · 03/11/2015 20:48

He was lost for words!

Original poster
Collymollypuff · 03/11/2015 20:55

Good God, has she recently lost a load of marbles, MrsS? That is extraordinarily rude - to both of you.

OP posts:
Blackduck · 03/11/2015 20:55

You honestly couldn't make it up......

Original poster
Collymollypuff · 03/11/2015 20:57

Would she say it was a joke?

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 03/11/2015 21:11

She might try, Molly!

BeachysFlipFlops · 03/11/2015 21:18

Did she actually write that out? Can't imagine Paperchase do a large range of pre-printed 'offending your SIL cards'.

bigTillyMint · 03/11/2015 21:37

MrsS, was that a preprinted card or did she write it?!

CV, someone needs to get that woman a grip. No wonder the DD is so paranoid that she's altered her sixthform choices to avoid your DS - she takes after her mother in overthinking things. They will have moved on massively in 9 months!

BD, that sounds tricky. Why are there so many difficult people in the world?!

Well done Rose!

I am worn out - went straight from work with my friend to visit an old colleague who is in hospital with cancer. Such a strong woman (and only a little older than me), still trying to soldier on.
Sadly we opted to take the bus back and got caught up in the bloody roadworks at the Elephant and it took ages and DH had to rescue me because the bus terminated before my stop... And I hadn't eaten since 12 - just snarfed down some toast!

MrsSchadenfreude · 03/11/2015 21:47

It was pre-printed, in an "amusing" fashion.

DD1 is on the phone moaning again about school - she hates school, hates boarding, hates the IB. She has hated every school she has attended until she has left, whereupon it has suddenly become the best school ever. I am slightly tempted to let her not board for a few weeks and see how she copes with getting up very early on a cold winter's morning, and coming home late on a cold winter's night, doing her homework etc etc. Her grades are good, mostly, although she is slipping behind in some subjects simply because she hasn't done homework/handed it in.

I am so tired of the non-stop complaining - yesterday she was on the phone moaning because the dorm trip had changed, and they were no longer going to have two days in Disneyland Paris, but one day in Paris, and one at Disney, and she "hates Paris" and didn't want to go. I mean, entitled, spoiled, little brat, much?

bigTillyMint · 03/11/2015 21:53

Do you think she found it amusing or apt?!

MrsS, your DD1's moaning sounds like most of the teen girls that I know of's moaning (especially my DD!) They just unload onto usAngry

MrsSchadenfreude · 03/11/2015 22:02

Part of me quite looks forward to seeing how she will deal with getting up and out of the house for 0630, and not getting home till around 1730 every day, doing homework, going to bed, and then up again ready for school. Because I know she will hate it, and get more shouty. But it will be added stress in the morning, making sure she gets up and leaves the house.

Auriga · 03/11/2015 22:17

Weddun Herbs goo' girl.

Sorry BD that sounds awful.

MrsS Angry your DM is worse than mine

MontserratCaballe · 03/11/2015 22:48

Thank you for the new thread, Molly.

Mrs S, your mother is something else Shock.

WAF, hope you survived the day and are tucked up to get over it Flowers

BD, that sounds like a hugely tiring situation for you. I agree that performance management might be the way through.

Brian is safely stowed now, awaiting his next outing. Please may that hold off until after Christmas. He has had more action here of late than is his due....

bigTillyMint · 04/11/2015 06:50

MrsS, why don't you offer your DD a week of not boarding on the proviso that she gets herself up and out, does homework, etc WITHOUT any intervention from you or your DH. If she manages it, then she can do longer?
FWIW, I find it pretty stressful not intervening in all those things with my DD - I try to make occasional positively encouraging comments, but not tell her what to do other than that and it nearly kills me!

Blackduck · 04/11/2015 07:15

I don't want to performance manage anyone. I don't want to be in a position where I am effectively des killing my staff and myself. I predict my team will no longer exist by Christmas and we had something really good that offered a great service. It is demoralizing to have to dismantle that.
I can feel the black dog circling.

Blackduck · 04/11/2015 07:16

MrsS do it. One of my colleagues is in a similar situ with her ds. She's told him she will be there to pick up the pieces but he now needs to grow up.

NUFC69 · 04/11/2015 07:36

BD, MrsS advice sounds good, but it doesn't look good for your team, and carrying on is going to be incredibly difficult for you. MrsS, go for it with DD, a week seems a reasonable time. Re DH's card from DM - in the past I have bought a card because I liked the front page, but then found later that I don't like the middle (mind you, when I have done this I have generally thrown the card out) - clutching at straws here.

How are you doing, Crem? And how are things with DD atm?

I went to bed at 8.30 last night as was totally exhausted after DGC. DGD2 wasn't cooperative at the three school drop offs/pick ups (which involve two scooters) - I can't remember having difficulties getting my own DC to school, and it's the same one. Have to have a rethink about timings before next week.

Off for a swim and Aquafit shortly while DH goes to his heart class.

Oh, and WAF, how were things yesterday?

motherinferior · 04/11/2015 08:10

Oh, BD. I can only sympathise but really wish I could offer a constructive suggestion. Molly, any views?

MrsS, no, do not intervene! Actually that routine is only marginally more challenging than the one that lots of kids in London do all the time. I don't intervene with either of my two - though admittedly this is because I am a bit hopeless - and they grit their teeth and grumble, but manage it.

hattymattie · 04/11/2015 09:38

BD - added sympathies from me as well.

Mrs S - is that the DD who has difficulty getting up in the mornings? I would give it a week but I'm sure she'll find the logistics plus missing out on the gossip whilst she's at home sufficient motivation to return.

Card is appalling but I have seen cards like that in shops and wondered how they actually came to be in print. Maybe your DM thought she was being young and trendy ... (clutches at more straws).

WAF - hope things are alright with you and glad you're feeling better Molly.

NU - sounds very tiresome re DGC's and scooters. I think the parents need to lay it on the line that full cooperation is required for Granny.

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