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Original poster

Bridesmaid woes - not liking the dress

98 replies

donutdunkin · 18/08/2015 20:14

Friend is getting married in September, 4 bridesmaids - this dress

www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-frances-jersey-maxi-dress/p2049089?colour=Cobalt

The others all like it, I hate it, or rather I hate it on me, does absolutely nothing for me. I think that friend would be amenable to getting it altered, if still matching with the others colourwise but not sure how to improve it tbh. Any ideas?

OP posts:
Chickychickyparmparm · 18/08/2015 22:46

it looks fine on you and your arms don't look fat at all. I think I'd just suck it up for one day.

OrangeSquashTallGlass · 18/08/2015 22:48

donut you look good in both those photos!

RockinHippy · 18/08/2015 22:51

Having now seen you in the dress above, it doesn't look as bad as I expected, but there's room for improvement

I would add to my comments above...

Run in the underarm a bit too, so that the fabric sits closer to your shoulder joint, if that makes sense, it will make it more flattering on your arms/shoulders

ijustwannadance · 18/08/2015 22:58

Love the 1st dress and you look fab in it. Other one swamps you a bit. Get the bridesmaid dress altered to same shape as one you feel great in.

CaptainSwan · 18/08/2015 23:04

It looks so much better on you than I thought it would! It does not look good on the model, though I don't know why because it's a lovely design. Honestly it looks lovely!

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 18/08/2015 23:05

Seriously, the dress is fine. You look great in it, and getting it altered (with the possibility of it going wrong, or looking really out of place next to the others) is unnecessary, IMHO. Get some great shoes, decent undies and remember that no one will be looking at you Wink

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 18/08/2015 23:16

Personally I think you look better in the red dress than the short dress. The red dress looks really good on you.

Mashtag · 18/08/2015 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bunbaker · 19/08/2015 07:03

I think you are making a fuss about nothing and you will seriously piss the bride off if you complain about it.

That style of dress looks lovely on you.

You do not look fat and shapeless, you do not have fat arms. I agree that it looks nicer on you than on the JL model.

Just suck it up. It is only one day.

OllyBJolly · 19/08/2015 07:21

You have a fabulous figure and that dress is gorgeous on you. I'd leave it as it is - a poorly executed alteration could spoil the line completely.

cluecu · 19/08/2015 07:26

I meant to say, we did pay for alterations for two of the 3 bridesmaids but it was still good value and they really looked and felt (so they told me) amazing.

oliviafrombolivia · 19/08/2015 08:11

you honestly look fantastic in the dress.

CakeNinja · 19/08/2015 08:57

You look great in the dress!
I was bm earlier in the year in a beautiful dress but it didn't suit either of us bms.
Made us both look really frumpy and dowdy, his our best features and emphasised the worst, even dp who never notices anything clothes wise said it looked crap! He was right, we looked shit.

And I paid for mine! But never would it have crossed my mind to alter or burn it. She had chosen it because she lolds it and it fit with the colour scheme and whatever. It was only one day.

CheddarGorgeous · 19/08/2015 09:22

There is absolutely nothing wrong with how you look in that dress. You look completely fine.

And in fairness the only person who will care anyway is you. Every else just looks at the bride.

She's your oldest friend, she's getting married, it's a wonderful time. Don't worry about the dress.

iamanintrovert · 19/08/2015 09:34

The bridesmaid dress looks like it might be a bit big on you. I wonder if the next size down would look better.

burnishedsilver · 19/08/2015 09:36

The dress is actually lovely on you. Don't stress out the the bride with this a few weeks before the wedding or you will be forever remembered for being difficult. Just wear it and smile.

If you're determined to go ahead and make changes I suggest you try posting on aibu first to get a feel for what the rest of the wedding party will likely be thinking but not saying to your face.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 19/08/2015 09:41

I'm not one to tell posters they look great, don't need to lose weight etc, when the OP obviously could, and wants to, improve the way they look, but seriously there is nothing wrong with the way you look in that dress.

OK it might not be the dress you would choose to wear, but it isn't about you looking/feeling amazing and nobody is going to look at you and think "oh dear, the dress does nothing for that bridesmaid."

I agree with the previous poster that said you actually look better in the photos in the red dress, certainly not busty or dumpy which is what you suggested.

AlisonBlunderland · 19/08/2015 09:43

Another one who thinks it looks fine.
I wouldn't look at you in the lineup and go "what the heck has she got on?"

CaTsMaMmA · 19/08/2015 09:54

it's fine, you don't look like a blob at all

but there's something amiss with the shoulder/neckline area on the frock, not sure what mind you....it all looks a bit burly maybe?

rookiemere · 19/08/2015 09:56

Ok only one day OP and dress looks fine. I'd echo those saying get straps under arms tightened and get a really good bra. You've got a fab figure and I can see why you'd want a different dress but with a few alterations and some make up it'll be grand and you'll be there for your friend.
Another idea could you see what it looks like if it were a lot shorter would bride go for knee length might not work but I think on you shorter would be better.

Original poster
donutdunkin · 19/08/2015 10:04

The dress is too big in most places but my rib cage limits going down a size.

OP posts:
GoooRooo · 19/08/2015 10:11

You're mad. You look great in that dress. Just wear it and consider it an act of friendship.

Original poster
donutdunkin · 19/08/2015 10:14

I'm not sure why everyone is assuming my friend is some sort of bridezilla, she's fine with alterations, has arranged a dressmaker already, we have 6 weeks, I just wanted ideas on how it might be improved.

OP posts:
burnishedsilver · 19/08/2015 10:24

If it was your wedding day and your wedding dress I'd back you up and say if you're not 100% happy with the fit (even though it looks fine) change it. The thing is its not your wedding day or dress so get over yourself. There are 4 of you supposed to look the same. Your dress not being 100% perfect fit won't be noticed. Your dress being different to the other 3 will be very much noticed. Whatever your reasons are it will come accross as attention seeking. Maybe it is attention seeking.

burnishedsilver · 19/08/2015 10:26

People aren't assuming she's bridezilla but tbh you might be bridesmaidezilla without even realising it.

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