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Original poster

Bridesmaid woes - not liking the dress

98 replies

donutdunkin · 18/08/2015 20:14

Friend is getting married in September, 4 bridesmaids - this dress

www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-frances-jersey-maxi-dress/p2049089?colour=Cobalt

The others all like it, I hate it, or rather I hate it on me, does absolutely nothing for me. I think that friend would be amenable to getting it altered, if still matching with the others colourwise but not sure how to improve it tbh. Any ideas?

OP posts:

Cookiecake · 18/08/2015 20:18

I must admit I don't think it looks that amazing in that picture on the model. It's not that bad though, it might not be flattering but it's only one day.

I'm not sure what you could do to improve it, I think it's the way it's cut. Could you take it to someone who does alterations and see if they have any ideas?

OrangeSquashTallGlass · 18/08/2015 20:21

I love it!

What are you thinking RE alterations? Is there a particular area of the dress that's not working with your body shape?

Original poster

donutdunkin · 18/08/2015 20:21

I think the fact that it's not particularly flattering on the model, who is prob 5 foot 10 and size 8, means god help anyone else!

OP posts:

FadedRed · 18/08/2015 20:23

Sympathy if you don't like it, I think it's lovely and would look good on most people, but agree with pp it's difficult to see what could be altered.

Original poster

donutdunkin · 18/08/2015 20:23

I think it's the empire line tbh, I'm size 8/10 but busty so just sort of hangs rather than skims

OP posts:

Weebirdie · 18/08/2015 20:23

Its lovely. Really.

Bunbaker · 18/08/2015 20:26

I love that dress. If the bride is paying for the dress I think you should just suck it up. It is only for one day and then you can send it to me.

If you are paying for it you could ask the bride if it is OK to alter it.

Is it the colour or the style you dislike? TBH I think that style would suit just about anyone.

Original poster

donutdunkin · 18/08/2015 20:28

Style, color is fine - even my mum said she didn't think much of it and normally she's so pleased to see me in any sort of dress she's not fussy!

OP posts:

Hassled · 18/08/2015 20:29

It's not hideous (I actually like it) and it's one day - don't be stressing the bride out by fannying around with alterations for a dress that doesn't look like it could realistically be altered. It's fine - it's not some meringue-type monstrosity.

Weebirdie · 18/08/2015 20:30

Could it be shortened or would that make you look the odd one out?

DonkeyOaty · 18/08/2015 20:30

Stooopid q but are you wearing the right size and style of bra?

ApplesTheHare · 18/08/2015 20:30

Tbh it's your friend's choice, not yours. You'll stress her out by asking to change it, even if you offer to sort the alterations yourself. Could you suck it up and wear it for the service then change for the evening do?

Weebirdie · 18/08/2015 20:31

Stooopid q but are you wearing the right size and style of bra?

No, thats a great question. Within the last 2 weeks Ive gone from looking like my breasts were banging into my knees to looking like Madonna.

Original poster

donutdunkin · 18/08/2015 20:34

Wedding is all in one place affair, so no scope for changing.

No bra issues, I'm a 30ff

It will be being shortened anyway, as I'm 5'3", not sure if going short would help matters.

OP posts:

Twolefttoes · 18/08/2015 20:35

Its fine and when you've had your hair and make up done it will look completely different.

Just go with it, its just a day.

ApplesTheHare · 18/08/2015 20:40

donut could you not change in the bathrooms?

If you really can't change then I think you have to embrace it. If it's any consolation everyone will be looking at the bride/mother of the bride/drunk relatives, etc., anyway.

cansu · 18/08/2015 20:40

it is really very non offensive. It may not be the style you would choose but it is not going to be possible to get something that suits everyone. It is for one day for a specific role. Think of it a bit like a uniform - you are being bridesmaid because you love your friend and want to be part of her wedding not to get a nice dress. If it was hideous it would be different, it seems more like it is not great on you and isn't your style. I think it would be very precious to be moaning about this tbh.

amarmai · 18/08/2015 20:43

you can shorten it afterwards and use the bit off the bottom for alterations.

Nicnoo2 · 18/08/2015 20:45

I would take it to a skilled alteration person who will be able to lessen the bulk at the waist so it is more flattering. If you have it done by the same person who does the length you can just say you had some alterations done to make it fit better. I bet no one will be able to put their finger on it and just think yours fits you better. Leave enough room for pudding though and have a great day

Doje · 18/08/2015 20:48

It's not your day. If you're not paying for it then you have no choice. Put a smile on your face and be happy for the bride on her big day.

It's a nice dress!

Mashtag · 18/08/2015 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

donutdunkin · 18/08/2015 20:52

The others have the right sort of figure for this dress, more typical pear shapes, so small arms/shoulders and happy to have the ruched panel and flared skirt.

I'm not that shape at all, so it just makes me look a bit pregnant and highlights the bits I hate the most.

Added to which I know I'll be cold and in uncomfortable shoes and i'm just dreading the whole day to be honest. I'm not a fan of weddings at the best of times but this is one of my oldest friends.

OP posts:

ApplesTheHare · 18/08/2015 20:53

Mash I think the bride might have something to say if OP turns up with a dress that she's had altered and is different to the other dresses? OP will also stand out more and could feel more self conscious as a result being different to the other bridesmaids.

Capewrath · 18/08/2015 20:54

It's the cross over bit that will be unflattering. If you can't amend, distract

Two options, both involving long scarves, for all bridesmaids.

Drape one over your arms. It will make you look shorter, that's the only problem.

Or drape one over one shoulder, as with a shalwar kameez or sari. Will lengthen the line.

Always justifiable in terms of English weather.

Find an appropriate colour, could be contrast, could be the same, could pick up eg colours in bouquet.

Original poster

donutdunkin · 18/08/2015 20:56

Bride won't care about the different styles if they are matching in colour and material btw. At one stage we were looking at getting different dresses but all in same colour just whatever style we preferred. Didn't work out in the end due to issues with trying on and postage times.

OP posts:

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