Critique my figure...pics included.

[PoosyCat]

Be honest...but not brutal, please! I've name changed for this and I'm a bit scared!

I'm 41, 5'11" and have always been a size 10/12. Just recently, over about the last year or so, I know I've put on weight. We don't have scales and I very rarely weigh myself, but I can tell just by looking at myself that I've put quite a bit on.

We're not long back from holiday, and when we got home, looking at photos of myself in bikinis, shorts and clingy dresses really upset me. I know I'm not huge, but in my head I thought I was a lot slimmer than the 'me' in the photos.

I've never done any proper exercise and I'm a bit lost about where to start. Going to a gym terrifies me. What sort of exercise would help with my 'love handles'? What else do you think I should be working on?

Also, what the hell should I be wearing day to day? I've always flung on skinny jeans or leggings as I thought I had good legs...but it seems like that was the old me. My good legs are hidden under the extra weight!

If Trinny and Susannah were still around, I'd be asking for their help! But please, lovely mumsnetters, help me to feel like the old me!

I find the same suzanne in real life people have children a lot younger and you just snap back. I went out clubbing in a bikini top 6 months after my first. It just goes straight back when you are young.

In general life people use the the term " natural" as in - I was naturally slim ie. I didn't go to the gym. Personally in my 20s I was " naturally" very slim. I ate chips, drank alcohol say down at my desk. I suppose I did lots of dancing and rushing around but gym and focussed exersise nope. I was tiny!
Now if I lived like that I would be flabby -not fat because of genetics as I said, but I wouldn't have that softly sculpted look I like no way.
To say I can do what I want at 35 and still look like this would be a lie and I always think women who look good and say they do no exersise and eat what they want when they really don't want others to be envious of how " naturally" in shape they are.
If that makes sense!

Well that was serendipitous, I had no idea that strength training could cause problems like that.

Honestly the midwife said that to me, as if there was something unusual about the appearance of my belly straight after the exit of the baby. ?

I am naturally very slim. I am in my my 30s now . You can see the genes in the dc as dd1 has my very thin legs. They are identical shape so I am 100% sure it is genetic.

My mother has the same in her 60s. My mum eats out every day, sometimes twice as she doesn't work and that is all she does with her time. You wouldn't catch her in a gym. I have only seen her wear flat shoes a handful of times! She is 8 stone.

Wow, Suzanne, it must be great to be perfect like you!

Most people use the term natural in a way which is illogical and meaningless.

It is natural to get fat as you get older if you lead a modern lifestyle.

I think we're arguing at cross purposes, I think that if you want to stay lean all your life then you need to swim strongly against the tide.
If you go with the flow you will get fatter as time goes on?.

Perhaps you thought I was claiming to have magical powers which enable me to stay lean despite doing the things which lead everyone else to get fat?
I am not!

I don't know if I am naturally slim, I was slim as a child but then I was pretty active and exercised from mid teens onwards ?

Yes of course Suzanne

Verity is 6 foot so it will be harder to be slimmer. It is a lot easier of you are smaller. I would say our family have a Japanese type build.

Sorry it just does sound like you are miracilous
But I'd never knock anyone for staying in shape. Good for you. I personally just think after a certain age it's harder to do so.
Peace and love

Hmm Ive never found it " hard " to be slim really. But I now work to be what I call toned and lean.

I stopped doing the stuff responsible for a six pack for practical reasons in pregnancy, and obviously from that level of fit I reduced somewhat in pregnancy. But after not ever knowing different, I subconsciously did things that kept a reasonable amount of muscle and a strong torso. Post birth my stomach was flat by modern standards. First week or so I wouldn't have had a toned stomach in a bikini but even in cheap Lycra it looked flat. I was also feeding a v hungry baby which really contributes to your uterus contracting. Without actually doing any stomach exercise I had a flat toned stomach within 2 weeks, I was young and it's not unusual for younger mums at all.
Within 6 weeks I was back doing exercise to get my 6 pack back. Partly genetics, partly luck, but mostly lifetime habits

Namaste Verity :)

Is it possible that pregnancy hormones affect your tissues more strongly or 'differently' the older you are?

My understanding is that there are strong health benefits to having children very young...late teens early 20's.

Please note that of course I know that in other ways having children very young can be highly problematic ?

I expect it is easier when younger. I couldn't get flabby if I tried as pnce you are a parent you never get to sit still!

I agree! I had Dd late 20s and my body coped so well - plus all the running around keeps you fit. I honestly don't know if I could do it now as well and I'm 36 - I would need to hire the Rock to get me back in shape

I had my 3rd at 30 which was pretty old. It wasn't too bad I was back to normal after 7 months. First when I was young it was pretty much immediately. We want a 4th at 35 but the more kids you have the more you move.

Anecdotally it appears that the changes caused by pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding are more extensive, greater in degree and longer lasting as women get older?

...on average and broadly speaking, at a population rather than individual level

I had my first at 21, and seems to just snap back after a couple of weeks. My last I had at 45, an emergency c-section and I now have a mum tum. Don't think anything will get rid of it bar a tummy tuck. My boobs are slightly droopy but not that bad really. The rest of me is improving and I', not finding it any harder to get muscle tone back. My legs are good and I don't have bingo wings. Weight training is definitely the key

Although in my late 20s and early 30's I was in damn good shape, and I did look pretty good in a bikini. I don't think I will ever look like that again