Critique my figure...pics included.

[PoosyCat]

Be honest...but not brutal, please! I've name changed for this and I'm a bit scared!

I'm 41, 5'11" and have always been a size 10/12. Just recently, over about the last year or so, I know I've put on weight. We don't have scales and I very rarely weigh myself, but I can tell just by looking at myself that I've put quite a bit on.

We're not long back from holiday, and when we got home, looking at photos of myself in bikinis, shorts and clingy dresses really upset me. I know I'm not huge, but in my head I thought I was a lot slimmer than the 'me' in the photos.

I've never done any proper exercise and I'm a bit lost about where to start. Going to a gym terrifies me. What sort of exercise would help with my 'love handles'? What else do you think I should be working on?

Also, what the hell should I be wearing day to day? I've always flung on skinny jeans or leggings as I thought I had good legs...but it seems like that was the old me. My good legs are hidden under the extra weight!

If Trinny and Susannah were still around, I'd be asking for their help! But please, lovely mumsnetters, help me to feel like the old me!

It's not bloody shallow. It's absolutely fine to take pride in your appearance! Better that I look shallow, than a fat undisciplined slob IMO. Age/children/whatever - they are no excuse for letting yourself go.

If you have put weight on eat less/better and exercise. Nobody knows what you looked like before so why put pictures up? It's not as if you have stones to shift

Poosy,
You look great for your age. As other mentioned, great arm and legs. Just like you I put on weight around my middle. Jogging or power walking helps, also less carbs and more protein in my diet makes a difference
Clothes wise, as I don't really have curves, I aim to wear things which will create the illusion of a waist (belts, nothing too baggy or shapeless), Im even considering to check out men's section at uniqlo/new look for shirts/Blazers to see how they would fit ( I hate anything to feminine)

It's much harder after 30 and esp after children to maintain a perfect figure that's just factual for I would say 95% of women.

In my 20s my main diet was chips and wine I was an 8/10 (nearly 6 FT). Now I work out loads and am much more careful or I'd be flabby.

It is harder to keep weight off after 35, which is why it's best to tackle it when it's just a small amount like the op rather than adding a dress size a year until your an obese 50 year old. There does seem to be a view on here that unless you've got to the stage of endangering your health, it's "shallow" to tackle weight gain.

It's much better for your long term health to keep on top of your weight and fitness.

Oh and in my experience, men do think about this too, but they don't talk about "losing weight", it's all presented as "getting fit" or "improving diet for health", any aesthetic improvement is presented as a pleasant side effect, but the sheer numbers of Lycra clad late-30-something men suggests a lot are just as worried about the changes to their bodies as they age.

There's also the issue that if you've always been naturally thin, the clothes that flatter a more rounded body will be different and not knowing how to dress a new body shape can make you appear larger than you are.

You look great for your age.

FFS- not another one posting about age!
The OP is 41 FGS, not 81!

I'm shocked that so many posters think 41 is old and that somehow at this ripe old age women should look dramatically different to the OP!

Why should 41 be any different to 31, or 51 or 61 come to that? Women's fat distribution does change post-menopause but even then with exercise and careful eating it's possible to stay in shape.

I'm a 12-14-ish (5'8") similar version of you - same age but saddlebags are my problem, not my waist. Just lately I've noticed a slight rounding to my lower abdomen and it's bothering me. Everyone else thinks I'm mad as it really is slight, but it's never been there before. Even after kids I was flat as a pancake (just in case it sounds like boasting, I'll share that it was also covered in stretchmarks).

I've never been on a diet in my life until early this year. For the first time I realised how hard it was to lose weight and keep it off (and how miserable it is).

I now do strength and conditioning (including 'Bring Sally Up' - legs are killing me but prefer squats to the press up version) which has made a massive difference to my confidence. I'm also going to get back on the treadmill this week (slow running) as the dieting is a bit of a vicious circle. I lose = I feel good, I put on = I feel bad and am back where I started. Toning up makes you feel good without losing weight. All of a sudden I'm happier to get my arms and legs out (and, surprisingly, the bikini wearing was a lot less painful than I thought it would be). I also try and follow Slimming World (don't go to clubs, just got the books) - the recipes are good and it's basically just cutting down fat and sugar to the bare minimum. You can eat as much as you like as long as you follow the rules.

There are a lot of 'I's in this post, but hopefully it's helpful.

For the record, I think you look good but it's how you feel that counts. I can't see any stealth boasting.

You do look good, OP, I completely agree. But with a small weight loss and a bit of exercise you could look great! And why shouldn't you have the pleasure of that, the exercise will be a mood booster as well as a tummy slimmer.

You look lovely, OP. Tbh, I think twice or thrice weekly Pilates would do all you require.

Please enjoy your body! Healthy, fit, slim, and really 41 is very young, and you do look very young physically.

I'm shocked that so many posters think 41 is old and that somehow at this ripe old age women should look dramatically different to the OP!

I do see your point Pinkfrocks, however I think that the norm is to just gradually add body fat as we get older, imperceptibly at first but it tends to gather pace in the forties and fifties.
The majority of 41 y/o's who don't actively resist the effects of our obesogenic culture will have more body fat than the OP?

Thanks all.

Well, I've googled local Pilates classes and emailed a local instructor so may get started with that soon! On my to do list for today is to look at 'bring up Sally' and to google bum exercises to perk up my flat arse. A couple of posters have mentioned power walking which I could also fancy...don't think my pelvic floor is up to running, but walking I could do!

I think it's just hugely depressing that women somehow expect to look rubbish at 41! I can only assume that the posters who are saying the op looks 'good for her age' are all under 25 themselves and think 41 is ancient, or they have let themselves go and are in the 60% of overweight people in the UK! To put it another way, and I'm not the only poster on S&B who thinks this, MN is very ageist when it comes to S&B. I was tempted to post a pic of me or my friends close to 60, just to make the point that being older doesn't mean you get fat or flabby, but I won't!

OP- just a word of caution- lifting heavy weights and doing wide legged or deep squats are not good for the pelvic floor- in fact loads of exercises people recommend are harmful for PF inc a lot of pilates. I recommend website of michelle kenway- oz physio- who shows pelvic floor safe exercises.

Getting back to the OP. You have a great figure! Your legs and arms are fab. You don't have a tummy and you don't look flabby anywhere.

Your shoulders are wider than your hips and you seem to put your weight in your boobs rather than your bum. I think pencil skirts, shift/sheath dresses and raglan sleeves would all suit you especially well. I'd stay away from full skirts.

That's my 2 cents worth.

There is much pressure to conform to the overweight norm.
the OP has lower body fat than is average for a woman of her age, for anyone fatter than her the easiest way to feel ok about yourself is to chastise her for 'obsessing'
Others will often sabotage your efforts to improve if their self esteem is threatened. ?

pinkfrocks thanks for that advice, I'll look into it.

I think you should post a picture of yourself! I didn't include my age as an 'excuse' for having put on weight, but simply to give a fuller picture. However, I can't ignore the fact that my whole life I've got away with eating what I like, not really exercising and haven't put on weight, but since hitting my 40s, that's not the case! Getting older does seem to mean it's easier to put on weight...that's why I'm determined to address it. And as it's never really been an issue up until now, I wanted a bit of advice on where to start.

OP you could be me!

Although I am ancient at 42

5ft 7" and have always been slim (10-12). Last few months I've put on weight in the same areas as you. Haven't got scales but jeans feel a bit uncomfortably tight.

Never been to a gym but teach so always rushing around at work. Bike too and walk as much as I can but no proper exercise.

Eat well but love chocolate and sweets, I presumed it was just getting that bit older though, people put on weight as they get older don't they?

Anyway you look great but I know how you feel, I am a waiting list for a hysterectomy and you wouldn't believe the reaction I have got to that from 2 people - you're having a hysterectomy Mizu, you'll get fat!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, just read post back and I have given you no advice at all.

I am going to start yoga again - however I have been saying that for a while.

It's not that everyone inevitably has to be flabby after 40! But look around you- go out today just and look at women's shapes who are post 40 and if you spoke to those women I am almost sure 95% of them would say they were a size 10 in their 20s.
You need to do a bit of work that's all it's not insulting at all. The op looks great and I think it's fab she is aware of these subtle changes and wants to do something before it becomes very difficult.

I agree about the age thing- that's a heap of crap. No reason why we should accept obesity as a result of ageing.

If you go with the flow of modern life yes you will just 'naturally' put on weight as you get older.
muscle mass declines as body fat increases

If you take steps to counter the effects of modern life you may well be seen as a health obsessed fitness fanatic, or similar.
Many people who exercise are still on the fat side because of the amount and type of food that they eat ?

op you look a very similar shape to me. I'm 5ft 10 and usually a 10/12. But since my holiday my 12's are on the tight side around my bum & tum.

I usually find that cutting down (severely) on the sugar gets me back down to my 'normal' shape & weight. I also go running two or three times a week.

In the mean time, I find clothes-wise, don't dress to 'disguise' your mid section. Wear clothes with a well defined waist that skim rather than cling. Anything that hangs straight down from my boobs makes mid look like Spongebob. And still wear the skinny jeans.

Op you have my dream arms and shoulders...

I am 40 in November and have found reformer Pilates and also something called BarreCore in London (like ballet aerobics with a lot of core work, plies and squats) to help with the waist thickening that has come with having a baby a year ago. This form of exercise has also reduced some of the hip and knee pain I was getting from higher impact exercise post pregnancy (and from being so ancient!).

Good luck! I also love ProjectPerfect's post...I need a LOT of her regime! Currently I am sitting in a lounger on the last day of a 10 day holiday feeling like a bloated, boozy mess...

I have a similar figure to you op and the same thing happened after I hit 40. The main thing is to really take care of your core, I do a lot of HIT routines and core exercise, extreme but over in half an hour. I don't weigh myself just go by clothes. I have had to watch what I eat but I tend to do that Monday to Friday then eat and drink what I like at the weekend.

It's easier to nip this in the bud than wait until it's a couple of stone.