Critique my figure...pics included.

[PoosyCat]

Be honest...but not brutal, please! I've name changed for this and I'm a bit scared!

I'm 41, 5'11" and have always been a size 10/12. Just recently, over about the last year or so, I know I've put on weight. We don't have scales and I very rarely weigh myself, but I can tell just by looking at myself that I've put quite a bit on.

We're not long back from holiday, and when we got home, looking at photos of myself in bikinis, shorts and clingy dresses really upset me. I know I'm not huge, but in my head I thought I was a lot slimmer than the 'me' in the photos.

I've never done any proper exercise and I'm a bit lost about where to start. Going to a gym terrifies me. What sort of exercise would help with my 'love handles'? What else do you think I should be working on?

Also, what the hell should I be wearing day to day? I've always flung on skinny jeans or leggings as I thought I had good legs...but it seems like that was the old me. My good legs are hidden under the extra weight!

If Trinny and Susannah were still around, I'd be asking for their help! But please, lovely mumsnetters, help me to feel like the old me!

Ooh, quite a few mentions of Pilates, am going to look into that, it might be what I need to rediscover the old me!

OP, if I understand correctly you don't particularly exercise and you are not strict about diet?
(that's not intended as any kind pf criticism btw)

However you are pretty slim so presumably not someone who is very prone to gaining fat.
I suspect that a bit of regular exercise and a few adjustments to diet will get you back to where you would like to be.
Some sort of strength training and a bit of cardio would be my choice, it's just a case of finding something that you can enjoy and incorporate into your life.

To me you seem entirely genuine (ie not a stealth boaster!)
I think 41 is a good age to get a grip of things, many women report finding it more difficult once hormone changes start in the mid to late 40's.
After that any body fat that you do have tends to 'migrate' to the midsection

Thank you suzanne and everyone else who has been helpful and/or kind.

Yes, I don't do any exercise, (although I am 'active') and although I eat lots of good stuff, I also eat far too much rubbish. I've never really put on weight before and lost baby weight quickly, so this weight gain has been a bit of a shock. My (always huge!) appetite has gone into overdrive this past year. I'm not sure why, although I do suspect that some medication Ive been taking could be the cause. So, I do need to substitute the rubbish with good stuff and I do need to build in some exercise.

Thank you everybody for helpful suggestions. This was never intended to be a stealth boast. I posted pics simply hoping that I would get honest, useful opinions. People have picked up on things I wasn't even aware of, (flat bot, poor posture,) in a constructive way, suggesting how I can improve them.

Agree with pp. Tbh I believe you have a figure of someone much younger. I'm 32 and my friends tend to be predominantly 32-36 and you look like us. I've started to do exercise on exercise balls (specifically pbt) which really works on improving your core. Try that or pilates. Walking also really helps my legs and lifts my bottom. Looking at you I think you look great but almost everyone needs a bit of definition. Oh and unless you're a Victoria secrets model or a bodybuilder noone needs to see a photo of themself in a swimsuit!!

I think you're genuine too OP
I am by no means 'fat' but not as slim as I once was and fluctuate for many reasons usually too much chocolate and sweets so know where you're coming from.

Even us 'skinny Minnie's' can be unhappy with how putting on a few pounds makes us feel/look..

...But that doesn't mean she isn't allowed to prefer herself leaner or have self esteem issues without it being a stealth boast. Nor does op come across as having body dysmorphia, she's hardly calling herself huge. Just saying she's bigger than she was and prefers being smaller
^^this

Your arms are fab. Your waist isn't great, but you say you've never had one particularly, so not much to be done there. Your lower abdomen could do with a bit of toning (good old sit ups mixed with less sugar and wheat) and your bottom needs a bit if a lift - squats and lunges. I would do some maintenance/preventative arm exercises to keep them as they are. Otherwise, lovely!

fgs you look normal stop self obsessing

Same age as me and I'm afraid it's the dreaded middle age spread. I'm slim too but not as tall as you and I feel like I'm fighting a battle to stop my middle from disappearing under a spare tyre. I try and eat well and exercise but a recent holiday has left me a few pounds heavier than I like and it all goes round the middle so is quickly noticeable.

Things that work for me are the 5:2 diet although I tend to only fast on one day rather than two, minimal sugar and carbs and a circuits class twice weekly. I try to be mindful of what I eat during the week so that I can relax at the weekend with a few glasses of wine.

But you do look great and to others the weight gain probably isn't noticeable but I totally understand how you feel in yourself.

I think you look slim and toned and years younger than you say you are.

You look amazing. I'm currently using the Jessica Smith exercise DVDs and finding they work (and are actually fun!) she has a YouTube channel too if you don't want to buy the DVDs. But as others have said, you don't need to lose any weight

Nip it in the bud now and it will be relatively easy.
Ten or twenty years hence it may be much harder to shift your body and your habits out of the comfort zone ?

I think you look great and i am jealous of your arms! I think that some weight training would help to define your shape if that's what you want to achieve, as it doesn't look like you've got much fat to lose at all.

Good leg to torso ratio. Balanced. Your torso is in balance compared to your leg length. This is good as it can't be changed.

You're in great shape. Lovely slim limbs. Nice shoulders. Great posture. You could only improve with exercise.

I have the same white women's butt as you, I'd love mine to be a bit higher and less flat. I'd say lunges and squats could achieve that, but I'm too lazy!

You have a bit of a belly, but that's rather normal - problem is you've not got used to dressing it! Nothing clingy round the waist, look at where your bikini's cut across your stomach, sometimes something a bit higher can make it look less obvious. Shorts again, anything low on the hips will make your tummy look more like it hangs over, whereas high waisted will cut across the larger part and make it look less obvious.

It's very hard to target weight loss, so a general overall weight loss would help, but just dressing a little differently would do a similar improvement to photos next year!

lordy you are not fat at all, why do women self obsess like this

Hula hooping can help your stomach area too. You can buy weighted ones as well. It won't work overnight but then nothing does

You sound like a taller thinner version of me! Forty plus and the weight is sticking and the appetite growing. Should it matter? Hell yes I want to be a 50/60 year old who is running and swimming and fit. The more weight and the less muscle we carry the more it matters as we age.

So I have bought scales and will do 5:2 and shred and then when thinner I will run and then when fitter have some open water Swimminv challenges planned.

If you want a 20lb weight loss buddy then I am your gal:)

By Christmas I shall be fit and strong and maybe even a bit bendy and that doesn't come naturally at all!

gives up

i bet no men obsess like this

Men absolutely do obsess like this. Far fewer of them, I grant you, but you only have to look at an edition of Men's Health to see that they do, and in sufficient numbers for it to be an actual market segment.

On the posture, it looks as though you are tensing your shoulders back and arching your spine to stand straight. Instead of thinking about holding your back and shoulders straight, think of it as holding your stomach in and holding your head and neck up straight, looking straight ahead. But holding to a degree you can walk around comfortably and breathe deeply still, not sucking them in. Done all the time and subconsciously not only do you get the more streamlined look and all round benefits of good posture, but it's an excellent way to keep stomach muscles.

oh and that's so healthy isn't it

That's why they drop down dead of heart attacks first ad retirement homes are full of wee old ladies

You know what- I'm really tired at the ageist comments here.
For 41 this is average to good. Age doesn't really matter.
I have friends in their late 50s who look as good as this and better.
I'm pretty much this shape and I'm late 50s. Not boasting but tired of women who seem to think being over 35 means you fall apart.
When you are older you will realise that 41 was / is really young!

pinkfrocks I know what you're saying. My mum, in her late 60s, is in great shape. She's slimmer than I am, although she is shorter with a smaller 'frame' than I have. So, there's no reason why 40s should mean 'fat'. I'm not using my age as an excuse for putting on weight. I do think that it gets harder to stay trim as you get older, but age is just one part of it. Obviously diet and exercise are other major factors.

southeastastra I get that in the great scheme of things, going up a dress size and putting on some weight isn't really that major an issue.
I also do see that it's probably pretty shallow to get so bothered about the way I look.
What can I say? It does bother me. I was surprised and unhappy to realise how much weight Ive put on. I've decided that instead of staying unhappy I'd like to try to do something about it. Not a major issue, but it's MY issue, which is why I posted it!