Though She Be Crepey, She Is FIERCE!

[QueenQueenie]

Ta Da!

Ooh, go on, CV. A spot of thespiana.

Ooh, CV, do go. Am dram is a riot. Just observing the politics is enough to fill a 12-episode sitcom!

Oooh yes CV and report back . Well done on your haul.

Glad DDs flying visit went well Cremo - short and sweet might be the way to go?

We have a Clarke Outlet shop at home. Sadly I never managed to persuade either of mine to get anything from there. At least DD can now wear whatever she likes on her feet, though she has been wearing (black!) trainers for the past 3 years contrary to school uniform policy. DS has been in a bit of strife for the same, but he is talking about smart mens shoes. Let's see!

Herbs, don't let the agency push you into anything you don't really fancy - the right thing will come along, I'm sure.

Here I am the only one up (DH having woken me at 7 with his fidgeting and ipadding) - beautiful sunrise over the water and no teens warring

Oh and CV, rather you than me - that's my idea of utter torture!

Am dram? I'd rather boil and eat my own feet. No idea how I produced a ds who loves to tread the boards.

Happy birthday, Crem. Hope dd's new leaf stays right side up for some time to come.

Good luck wrangling with the tiresome oldsters, Rose and MI.

I'm still here, just about, and dd is still doing nothing constructive and is still going to war with anyone who suggests she might feel better if she got up before midday, got dressed and put down her phone. Most of her friends have jobs and/or are doing NCS. Despite making noises about doing constructive things, she has not done anything (as usual), so during the day she often has nothing to do and just screeches, swears and throws stuff if anyone offers advice or asks her to do anything. She sees her friends when they are not working and goes out in the evenings. Thanks to some good advice , I have now effectively given up on trying to get her to come home by a certain time. I have handed her responsibility and told her to take a key and get herself back in one piece whenever. I pointed out that by telling me a time she was coming back, she was effectively giving me responsibility for ensuring she was back/ finding out why she wasn't. As we have seen a fair bit of mildly self-injurious behaviour recently, I find it a big deal if she announces she will be back at midnight and then doesn't appear and is completely uncontactable. Still, I don't have much choice but to let go completely and hope she is not as nuts as she frequently appears. She is sure that she will end up with at least 2 Us on Thursday and I'd not be surprised this were the case. She has undoubtedly cocked this year up completely. I will be very, very surprised if any decent grades have been achieved, given her poor attendance and lack of application. It is just very sad as a parent to see your dc repeatedly shooting themselves in the foot. It is also a bitter disappointment to see them repeating certain patterns of behaviour that would be best avoided.

If you never hear anything again from me after Thursday, assume that dd has spontaneously combusted after getting her results (as she is anything but sanguine about her prospects and what she might do next) and the resultant fallout has killed me off.

Auriga, your dd sounds like a joy and a complete tonic. Very well done to her for all her musical efforts. And well done to you for doing such a good job of looking after your dm under such trying circs.

Ah, WAF, your account of your jacuzzi escapades did make me larf.

I have to admit that I find it desperately sad that I am entirely unable to fix either myself or dd. I have come to the conclusion that there is no point whatsoever in me applying for mainstream jobs, as I'll never hold one down, even if I ever got one. I have no real clue how to progress beyond getting a few private pupils, which is not going to achieve financial security for us. I feel the course I did was a pile of overrated old crap and I am left neither fish nor fowl - Not qualified to teach secondary or primary and still stuck in the same place I was a year ago, but about £5000 poorer. No wonder dd can't see her way forward either. I am a monumentally shit role model and her father only demonstrated all the wrongs things as well.

Crap, I am so fed up with going round in ever decreasing circles.

Stropps the fact that you can post that is amazing. I can't even contemplate how frustrating that is.
And I offer my spare room as a haven again.... I am sure I'd be far less sanguine than you in the circs.
Horse, water and all that....

Noon Stropps you are fab - you have had an amazing year - your feedback was fabulous. I get the crock of, I think a lot of feel that about stuff we are taught, but you have integrity and one sty and you must stop being so hard on yourself.

BD is right. Your feedback was fabulous. You may not want to do mainstream, but I am sure there will be other opportunities. You just have to be patient. And positive

Stropps, you are hard-working, talented and have great insight and compassion. Of course you are a good role model. dd's behaviour sounds immensely frustrating but perhaps this is not the week to try to see the bigger picture as it will be distorted by the uncertainty of Thursday? We have had some utterly bat-shit crazy days before exam results. You have achieved massively this year, hold on to that and we will all be crossing everything for you and dd on Thursday.

And, apparently, you have one sty?

Wot they said, Stropps.

Stropps . Keeping everything crossed for Thursday. Sending you strength.

Ohhh, Strops, fingers tightly crossed for Thursday. I hope it's not as bad as you fear, but DD is entirely responsible for her own destiny, as you well know. And don't think for one second that your course was a waste of time... as others have said, be patient, and the right opportunity WILL manifest itself.

Well, the Am Dram (actually, it's Am Op) was great fun - I only watched the rehearsal, but they seen to be a great group and I could see myself fitting in quite well. All ages, from 10 to 70+. They are midway through rehearsals for a performance in October (Fiddler on the Roof) so I wouldn't join until after that, but next up is HMS Pinafore, and I never could resist a bit of G&S.

Thank you, Stropps

Hope Thursday will not be a wipe-out. It's no wonder you're feeling low, you're probably picking up a lot of tension and apprehension from DD. But remember you are a Stropp of a Consistently High Standard and your Crepeys value you.

And teaching/modelling how to manage when things don't go according to plan is a big part of the job of mothering somebody.

Difficult morning at the hospital with DM. Cardiologist could not have been better but there is no way of turning it into good news. DM coped well, considering (except when she suddenly went off-piste and told him the real problem was her back )

But then I had a good afternoon, examining young doctors. Heartening to see how skilled and empathic most of them already are.

Good luck with job application BD

On the "waiting for results bench on Thursday" with Stropps You are not alone and you'll get though it, whatever Thursday's outcome. The right job will present itself eventually too. Sometimes, we don't have to fix ourselves or others….we just have to muddle through. Do something nice for yourself each day in the meantime. Superficial but surprisingly effective.

Also to Auriga re dealing with DM yesterday.

Go for it CV…love Am Dram/Op…amateurs have so much more fun than professionals!

Tough day yesterday. But I did have a long conversation with the social worker who is just great and will convene a meeting in a couple of weeks when she gets back from leave to go though all the options for DParents, who also had visits from the OT and the physio yesterday. DM seems calmer and I have had a frank discussion with her about the pathetic amount of carer time they have and that there was no option but to increase it significantly…with skilled Dementia care for my Dad. She's worried about the money but I just had to say "Look, this is your rainy day, Mum" and proposed that after we had seen the Social Worker for the meeting, she sat down with DH, to make a financial plan. DH is particularly good at the this, I must admit, being a financial bod but also managing to remain kind but detached.

I then escaped to the mall nearby, where I had left the DC with money for Nandos and shopping….and just sat alone in John Lewis's restaurant with a salad and a cup of tea. And so we move on…

I am up at GOS with DD today…we've had appointments there since she was born. It's likely that she will need further plastic surgery in young adulthood and apparently she has to have contact with a counsellor, so we have been referred. I am a bit ….and hope they won't dig too deep…DD is remarkably down to earth about her body. I don't want them to create a problem iyswim. Bloody hell…is there ever any respite?

YY to "this is your rainy day".

And also to allotting stuff to family members who've got professional expertise - it's how we do it with me dealing with consultants etc: one goes into work mode (and then in my case ends up gibbering when it becomes at all personal, as you'll all have known from my Fibroid Saga).

Stropps, your course will be useful. It's a qualification you undertook knowing you needed it, and you did it remarkably well. You carry a huge amount and you do that remarkably well too.

And again YY to her destiny and how she handles it. Really. You are offering all the support possible.

Oh and Stropps - however Thursday goes, please don't disappear!

I am heading up to talk about next term's uni teaching. Oh dear. Nervous.

Stropps - hang on in there, you are so courageous. I do have a friend whose DS seemed to have similar issues to your DD. Two years later he has enrolled himself at the local uni, is settling down and becoming a relatively decent person. Believe me, he was horrible - he drank all the vodka once and filled the bottle with water and blamed the cleaning lady when his DM found out. That is only the tip of the iceberg.

Rose - agree about "rainy day money", and strength to you and DD.

Thinking of all the crepey DC's who have results on Thursday.

Stropps, wot Lalsy said.
I think you are in a dip. Dealing with the load you are carrying which is HUGE, it's not a surprise that as things come to a natural end( the course, school for dd etc) you feel exhausted and emotionally broken. Please refer to me exactly this time last year,
But it is a dip, and like all misery, is unlikely to sustain. Things will happen on Thursday, but there's nothing you can do about it. You have supported dd like no one else I know. You have been there through thick and thin and suffered all the crap she could throw at you. You have been stoic in the face of difficult choices. And on top of that you got yourself an Ology! Stropps you are amazing, and the rewards WILL come.

Rose that's good that ddad can get a handle on the ££. I'm so sorry about your dps.

Great words of wisdom from the Crepeys, Stropps.

And it sounds like things are moving forward in a positive way Rose, if slowly.

We have just been round to more of DHs friends for dinner - nice roast NZ lamb and a laugh. Shame it is so dark here that when we got back, I couldn't see which way to go to get back into the house and walked straight into a prickly bush and ripped my lovely Sainsbo's leggings Much to my family's amusement, of course.

Stropps kudos for handing over the late night responsibility. There is much to learn from this. Not sure where I picked it up, but not long ago heard someone say 'Think to yourself, will this matter when he/she is 30?' in regard to picking battles (was it on this thread, even? Prob MN)

Rose - yes. This is their rainy day. Very well put and focussing.

Here I must pay for my coffee and head back to see how ready the fam are for the beach. If they have started unpacking the bags of picnics and wetsuits, I will try and remain serene. I am amazed at how well this holiday has gone. We have had huge swathes of utter functionalness. Crazy golf yesterday pushed the envelope like gangbusters but no clubs were thrown.

BTM - ouch!!

I love you lot.

Chugging home on bus from remarkably civilised meeting about teaching. HoD is a bit of an Icon to me - she was on Spare Rib in the 1970s - and we got on well so am majorly chuffed. One of those occasions where being crepey is actually an advantage.