For those of us going grey

[SilveryFoxyMe]

Forgive the name change, but I reckon this post makes me fairly recognisable.

Anyway, last year I posted my dilemma as to whether to continue dyeing my hair or let nature take over and see what was really lurking under there

I bit the bullet after yet another hair dye ending up brassier than I had hoped and not lasting at all, and decided to grow it out.

Eight months on (I do have short hair) it's all gone, and I am almost completely silver, with a few smattering of darker.

At just 47 I appreciate this is not the societal norm, and in some people's eyes has aged me. One friend pretty much commiserated with me and my hairdresser is horrified.

But in the past month I have been for two job interviews, been offered both jobs, and been invited out in a date (long story, I am happily married and he mistakenly thought I was single).

Several people have told me it looks fab, a neighbour came up to me to say I had inspired her to go for it.

My face still looks fairly youthful, I think, but at first glance people might think I am much older. Yet I still got the job offers and the date! More attention that I have had in years!

So if you are swithering, I would heartily recommend it.

[ouryve]

Morethan, I know someone with dark curly hair shot through with silver and it's so beautiful. Not weird at all!

[woodhill]

yes I agree Stan, I don't want to draw attention to myself and believe I look reasonably youthful in my late 40s. maybe when I'm 60.

[Listmaker]

I read an article in the Sunday Times about this lady going grey and thought she looked so amazing - that's what finally made my mind up. Not that I will look as lovely as her and my grey is much more patchy but still...

[RandomFriend]

I like this thread. I don't dye my hair but have plenty of grey streaks. Since noticing that I am quite grey I have been looking around and I see that nearly all women dye their hair. I don't want to so I put up with being grey. I am glad if some others are doing the same.

[Listmaker]

Also from the FB group I've learnt about purple shampoo which I think helps tone down the brassiness in my blond but it wasn't too bad anyway.

I also learnt about coconut oil. My hair is quite dry from the bleaching now and from grey hair being coarser than my old natural hair. I put some on every night before bed (I wash my hair every morning) and my hair feels much softer. Hoping that no bleach will help it return to better condition.

Think you do have to make sure your grey hair is silky, well cut and well looked after - as someone said - not doing that and going for the wild frizzy look is going to be the thing that's more ageing I think? And careful makeup etc.

I'll shut up now!

Never paid so much attention to my hair in all my life as I have in the last 3 months though! I obsessively check the new growth

[brusselsproutwarning]

I like to blend into the backround too and care Way too much about peoples opinions. Unhealthy really. This is what i think is stopping me.

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

LOVE all the silvery photos!! You all look fabulous!!

I decided to ditch the dye in February, age 35. Making a conscious decision to stop dyeing it has totally changed my attitude to my hair and quite a few other areas of my life. Although, I think it's part of a bigger shift in my life and embracing the grey has been an added bonus.

In the early days, I was worried about the obvious line of grey in my parting but very quickly, I stopped caring about it and about what other people thought about it (so not how I would normally be).

I might have definitely bored everyone silly with my tales of 'going grey' and was fascinated by other people's reactions. Very few people thought it was a good idea, which made me doubt myself at times. However, and I'm not sure if this has already been mentioned but there is the most amazing FB group, full of women embracing their silver locks and it has been the biggest support.

I'm only 5 months in but my hairdresser thinks all the dyed hair will have gone by Christmas and I can't wait! I love it!!

[DrDre]

I love a silver haired lady! Seriously attractive. A very elegant silver fox in her fifties smiled at me when I was running yesterday. Made my day!

[woodhill]

list your hair looks great.

[suzannecanthecan]

I don't really like dyed grey hair, as often it looks a bit obvious

I agree Nanthewiser it's a pale imitation of the real thing

[ExConstance]

Not for me I'm afraid. I don't deny that if it is the right sort of hair and the right sort of grey it can look stunning but mine would be just dull pepper and salt and I'm sure that I would look old and frumpy. Anyway I can't go grey before my mother who is 89 and looking rather nice with medium blonde very shiny hair.

[Listmaker]

Sadly woodhill that's not me - it's the Sunday Times Fashion Editor!!

Most of my friends have made it very clear it's not for them either but if I could influence one person I'd be so chuffed!

Hiccup I mentioned the FB group - they are all so supportive and link to some great articles etc. I've found that inspiring and it's kept me strong so far.

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Ah, sorry listmaker...I've read the thread properly now and see you mentioned the very group Aren't they fantastic?

One of the biggest revelations, for me, is not caring about what other people think about my hair and also not really caring what other people choose to do to their hair.

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Exconstance - my 75yr old mother was part of my decision to stop dyeing. She's been doing hers for near on 50 years and will never stop. My first greys came when I was 17 but I've only dyed it regularly, by an hairdresser, for about 8yrs and that's felt like a very long time. I can't imagine another 40yrs of it!!

[suzannecanthecan]

Perhaps a 'going grey' support thread in S&B would work?
Somewhere to post to stay your hand before you mix up just one more brown dye...

[HappyHippyChick]

I have been umming and aahhing about dying the grey in my hair, but I'm too lazy and really don't fancy the inevitable skunk stripe so I'm just rocking the silvery look. I'm not too grey at the moment, but I think at 41, I'm going to leave it and go grey gracefully!

[shadypines]

Well done OP, this thread is great! I have always resisted dying my hair and I'm not far off 50 now, some times I think 'should I'? but am glad I haven't. I think having falsely coloured, esp dark hair, whilst your skin is ageing, (think Paul McCartney or Cliff)) and looks awful. Much better when they both match! Plus not dying it must keep it in better condition, it's better for the enviroment and better for your purse!

[Fab41]

I stopped dyeing my hair at 43 after a strand test showed my hair would disappear if I coloured it again. I grew it out for a few months and then cropped it.
18months later it is a shoulder length inverted bob, I have just had organic colour added to tone the silver and enhance it, and I am really pleased with it. The condition is so much better than before, and I don't have to stress over roots and regrowth.
Recommend anyone unsure to go for it, but keep maintaining it to avoid the wild woman look!

[ObeseDenise]

I agree shady.

Women who have regular expensive highlights/lowlights done can look great with dyed hair. But women who use box dyes at home often end up with that too dark blocky looking lego man hair. I really don't think it's flattering or natural looking. And it definitely doesn't make you look younger than natural hair would.


I think the idea that grey hair = old stems from our societal idea about grannies with grey/white perms.

As more women start embracing their natural hair at a younger age that will change and grey/silver won't be solely associated with being elderly.

I think I look younger than my age even with my grey hair .

And my life is so so so SO much easier without being on the hair dye hamster wheel.

[Yarp]

I think that it's easier if your grey is coming in speckled throught the hair, rather than in definite chumks. My hairdresser said that men tend to grey in the former way, and it does look good.

[Yarp]

Obese

I agree about hairdressers. My hair is the only thing I have ever spent money on. I don't spend much on clothes, or makeup or facials. So I don get it done by a really good colourist. But it is £££

Ultimately I'd like to do a Dench. Not yet though

[NanTheWiser]

Jeez, I'm quite now! However, if this thread convinces one person that it's OK to embrace the grey, that has to be A Good Thing. And make-up is essential too, to define your best features, otherwise you can look washed out. (The top is actually boring beige, but looks grey here!)

[DontCallMeBaby]

So this is me nearly 3 years ago (in the middle, checking out a book) and the reason I stopped dyeing my hair. Purple hair was my thing for a while, but it looked good for about a fortnight, when the colour was really solid, but then it started to look like the pic ... ugh. And then got worse until I could be bothered to do it again.

It now looks a lot like it did in earlier years with highlights - I always had quite cool-coloured, ashy highlights because my hair's naturally mousey rather than a warm colour, so the grey isn't dissimilar. There's one patch above my left ear which is decidedly grey though!

I wish it were greyer, if anything - I have a friend who's only a little older than me who's had white hair as long as I've known her (and if she stumbles across this, given the link above, she'll know exactly who she is!) and it looks fantastic. It'll go the way my mum's has though, fading gradually from mouse to grey. My dad's is better in colour, been pure white for years, but I'd like to have a bit MORE hair than he has by the time I'm in my 60s!

[phoebemac]

I am doing this too! I'm not completely grey yet (am 52), but I wanted to stop dyeing it whilst it was still not too painful to grow it out.

I now have darkish brown hair for a couple of inches and few inches of reddish dyed hair and silver streaks running through it all. I have had a few weak moments, but the dye is ruining my hair and I hate having it done, so am determined!

[HesterShaw]

My hair has always been my only main asset - a curly red gold. I recently hit 40 and have found my first white hairs near my parting. I pulled them out! I still feel 23 - I can't go grey/white! However being a ginger, it will probably gradually fade rather than going grey. Not sure if this is a good thing or not. I don't think I could find a shade of dye which is identical to my own hair, so I'll have to think of something else. I don't think I'm ready to be going white yet :( though I appreciate this is all in my mind.