Going grey in my 30s - keep dyeing it or embrace the silver fox?

[SilveryFoxyLady]

I have been dyeing my hair brown since I started going grey my early 20s. I'm now mid-30s, and have left it to grow a little to see what it's like.

It's pure steely grey, almost white in some places. Obviously it looks awful as I have a 2 inch grey strip in my light brown hair. My hair is fine, straight and cut into a mid length bob.

I can't decide whether to let it grow out, or to keep dyeing it. I've asked everyone for their opinion and the verdict is split. Some say I'm too young to go grey, others say go for it!

After much pondering I'm wondering whether I should opt for dyeing it a lighter colour, perhaps some caramel highlights, to ease the transition for a few years... but I'm a naturally dark haired person, jet black eyebrows and pale freckly skin. I really REALLY don't think I'd suit blonde hair!

Any advice????

I'm 35 and have been going grey since I was 20 and decided I'd had enough of dying it dark brown once a month. My plan was to end up dying it grey but part of the process was to go blonde first. I'm a dark gold/honey blonde and it actually really suits me! The grey blends in brilliantly and even 6 weeks after dying it I'm just starting to think about going back again to get a touch up.

I've been blonde before but was very light and it looked awful so there's a shade of blonde out there for everyone.

nomi gorgeous hair!

Your hair is amazing Nomi!! The streaks look fabulous, are they natural, or have you put some blocks of colour in there?

And how did you cope with the growing out stage.. and how long did it take?

Unfortunately I doubt mine has such bold blocks, it's more an all over light grey colour. Hmm still undecided.

My DH thinks I should go for it. He thinks it suits me, and he also has a good smattering of grey coming through. I agree, Men get away with it younger, definitely. And there's nothing worse than a man with dyed hair.

All natural!

It's funny. When I was a brunette I could never get my hair to lighten and I always envied people with pretty highlights. Now I have nature's highlights .

I know I'm lucky that mine had grown out well but even the relief of not having to fye anymore is reason enough. I used to have to do it every 4 weeks with a root touch up at two weeks. It was a nightmare.

I shaved my head to let the grey grow in. It's taken 14 months to get to a decent bob length. I'm going to keep growing it though. I want shoulder length with a blunt fringe. Will look amazing with bold lipstick .

If I knew mine would look like yours, I'd definitely take the plunge.

There's no way I could shave mine off though, I'd look hideous. I might stretch to a shorter crop once I've got a good length of grey... IF I decide to do it.

I too used to have to re-dye it every 4 weeks. And if I went over that, I'd be ultra paranoid about people seeing my grey roots. I've been off work for a while with an illness, during which time I have let the roots grow out so there's no hiding them. I was actually nervous about going back to work and 'coming out' as a grey haired person... silly really.

It's not silly at all. Hair is a very personal and emotive thing. I definitely struggles with the shaved head (not helped by being pregnant and fat) but it was still a better option than having white roots and almost jet black hair . I couldn't bring myself to put up with that for a year +.

I used to cover my roots with regular black mascara . It must have looked a complete state. I'm so happy to be done with that carry-on!!

I've taken to clipping back a section of my hair, to sort of highlight the grey bit, so it chops up the straight line between grey / dyed.

I quite like it at the mo... but it's when its 1/2 grey 1/2 brown that I'll look really terrible. It's at that point that my hairdresser has said he would give it a really good cut and chop loads of the dyed hair out in one fell swoop.

If only I could click my fingers and get rid of it all in one go (without shaving my head!)

Currently downloading one of those makeover apps that let you try on different hairstyles to see what I'd look like with short hair!

Wow, Nomimalone, you are super hot!

OP, let your grey grow through. You don't want to end up one of those old ladies with unconvincing khaki dyed hair and a silver parting.

Just seen Evelyn Glennie on The One Show, she has long grey hair and it looks breautiful.

You don't want to end up one of those old ladies with unconvincing khaki dyed hair and a silver parting

It's a very good point actually. I'm going to have to stop dyeing it at some point in my life, so perhaps it's better to do it now while I have the chance to make it look a bit fun and funky, rather than when I'm 50 when it will look shite. At least now I can have fun with bright clips and colours.

And think how much healthier your hair will be. Shiny, healthy grey hair is way sexier than flat and over processed.

Update - I still haven't caved in, still embracing the grey!

It's now a good 2 inches of grey regrowth, so there's no hiding it. I was really worried about facing work after being off for a while, but that's done now and nobody has commented so I now feel 'out there' as a grey haired person.

The grey isn't as white as I thought it was, now that it's growing through, there's more salt & pepper in there. When it's just a few mm of roots, the contrast made it look much whiter.

My old dyed colour now looks awful, really orangey and brash. I hate it, and it's further convinced me that au naturel is the way to go.

I'm still clipping the front bit across to the side, to break up the grey a bit. I'm due a good haircut, so that should chop off a load and I'll get some frank honesty from my lovely hairdresser friend at the same time.

When I scrape my hair back off my face, I can only see grey, so that gives me a good idea of how my skin tone looks. It does wash me out, but it makes my black eyebrows pop out more, so I can work with that.

The best bit is that DH is loving it. Thinks I'm brave. The worst bit is the bloody wiry white hairs that stick straight up off the top of my head! Need advice on serums!

oh yes, 50 is ancient OP! LOL!

Personally, I think very few young women look as good as or better with silver hair. I knew one women with a pixie crop and she was grey but she was lovely looking - but it did still add years- she could have been 10 years older instead of her 38 years.

I think the way to go is to add some low lights which blend in the mix of grey and non-grey and that avoids the terrible blocks of colour and white partings that some women have.

Dye it, it just makes u look older otherwise

when you say you have been 'dyeing it' do you mean at home?

I'd advise no one to dye their own hair. Hair colouring is an art and that's one reason you pay £££ to have it done at the hairdressers- not just the cost of the product and the overheads etc but their artistic eye!

If you pay £100 for some lowlights that to me better value than spending that on some shoes or clothes.

My cousin has been grey since her late 20s and hers looks stunning and has always been her thing.
Definitely go with the coloured highlights if you can get away with it.
I am a natural blonde but enjoying going white as I tell my Dd I am morphing from Cinderella to Elsa.
Life is too short to spend constantly worrying about roots. My ambition is to look as cool as Christine Lagarde always has done.

Grey hair is instantly ageing.

I say definitely dye it!

No - you can always tell a dye job and they rarely look quite right. Well, some do but most don't. Let it grow through, then go to a good make up counter and get help with foundation, eyes and lips, the products you suit best may all change. I bet you will look fab.

It's in the name.... The dye first came out when I was 18, like you OP, it's in the genes. My mother has never dyed hers and people assumed she was older than she was. My younger sister has stopped getting hers dyed as her hair was becoming increasingly resistant. Her hair is curly and sadly I think it ages her a good deal. In my early thirties when the children were young and I had PND, I let mine go natural. I looked awful, but this may not be entirely hair related, but it didn't help!

I think your skin tone, colouring and face also have a bearing as to whether 'going grey' is for you, along with the sheer expense and faff of upkeep of maintaining dyed hair. A very attractive 'grey haired look' is carried off by olive skinned, brown eyed women (often wearing Breton tops, cigarette pants, ballerina pumps and carrying lovely baskets) I have have pale skin with freckles and indistinctive eye colour - think North Sea Blue. I am not 'striking' to look at, and the fact I own a Breton top and the odd basket isn't enough to convince me to ditch the dye!

You, OP, from what you have described so far, have more distinctive colouring - your dark eyebrows. Think about the whole package - your eyes, face shape etc. Any opportunity to try on a wig in your 'natural' colour?Aren't there programs where you can Photoshop a photo of yourself and then change the hair colour? Just a thought.

I think Madame Lagarde looks older than her years. Age wise she is a contemporary of me and my peers and she could be 10 years older due partly to her hair but also her complexion. Grey hair is instantly ageing imo. Ironically, the younger you are the more likely you are to 'get away with it' because your face will tell everyone you are young anyway but in early middle age and beyond it can add years.

I am 43. I had my curly brown "mid warm brown" dyed hair chopped in February to chop off all the dye and let the grey come through. I am totally delighted with the results.

A lot is still my naturally brown colour (which I had forgotten was not that warm). Some is steely grey. The rest is coming through in marvellous white highlights framing my face. Today I had 2 people say wow - your hair is amazing - do you dye it like that? This was from a c17-20 year old cashier in the supermarket and a 13 yo old niece.

I have pale, freckly skin (pink toned) and blue eyes. I have had more compliments about my hair in the last 4 months than for probably 10 years. Yes some may be due to it being a big change (not had a pixie cut since I was 14yo). But I feel fantastic. I "fit" iyswim. My hair colour is what it is supposed to be. My thread with photos here if you want to see it: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/2316020-To-chop-or-not-Honest-opinions-please and my latest growing-out-the-pixie is here:

If I could have my time again I would never have gone down the dye route.

Haven't read this thread properly, so sorry if she's already been mentioned, but google Sarah Harris, Vogue Fashion Editor. Gorgeous with long prematurely grey hair.

anyageorgijevic.com/2014/09/sarahharris-streetstyle.html

Ugh horrible straggly ends - she also looks like a model, most of us do not.
Get a colour specialist OP .

Did you name change just to be so rude? Actually I thought her hair style-wise was pretty normal for us mere mortals, it's just long and simple, straggly ends included, certainly not an expensive, overstyled cut that most of us with non-model jobs would struggle to manage. She also wears very little make-up and in most of the pics if you google or Pinterest her, is wearing very casual outfits like jeans and sweaters. If you bother to look beyond the job I thought she was a good source of inspiration for the OP. My apologies.