How to achieve the middle class / posh girl look and lifestyle?

[stuckonchapterone]

Hello everyone.

I was seen, and read some threads similar to this, however I was wondering whether anyone could give me some advice, it would be much appreciated

I have long been a 'fan' of the posh / middle class fashion look e.g. long hair, joules, white stuff ect. I was wondering what staples you would suggest purchasing in order to achieve this look and lifestyle e.g. I am looking into buying a barbour coat, once I can get to the shops (currently recovering from an illness at the moment, and part of this post is get some advice before I update my wardrobe to make myself feel a bit better) Advice on where to shop / eat and act would be great too

Any tips / advice to help me achieve this look / lifestyle would be greatly appreciated. No negative comments please.

Thanks all!

Gralick I'm glad someone can see what I'm trying to ask here, thank you so much. I feel like this threat is being taken completely out of context, which is sad considering all the 'this is a joke' ect ect comments.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed in a positive way, I cannot thank you all enough

Thanks stuckonchapterone for posting this thread. My preschool dd has jsut started an art class(one where the parents sit on the side & mingle whilde dc's get on with it with the leader) The parents are very middle class & I don't fit in, they are like clones of each other, effortlessly put together but appropriate for the activity & not overdone. I feel like such a poor relation so this thread is very beneficial to me as I want to up my style game too, I feel out of place(& crap about myself!!!!) here, I also want to look good for dd's sake so she feels her mummy's pretty too & for her to not feel out of place as mommy looks so ungroomed!!!(dd notices everything, "mummy why is your fingernail broken" mummy why have you little grey hairs etc. So op ignore the negative remarks & thank you for helping me get out of my style rut too.

• thread, not threat!

Giving up alcohol for a month and drinking lots and lots of water can make a real difference to skin along with daily moisturising (frequency and length of use rather than cost of product make the biggest difference in my opinion).

I try to exfoliate once a month and find that makes a difference too.

indiana7 Hello there! I hope the replies are useful to you, I've found the advice invaluable so far BUT just know that you seem like a fabulous mother anyway, so don't let it get you down! There is nothing wrong with wanting to 'up your game' as you say, here's to a happier / healthier us!

Don't give up alcohol if you want to emulate the upper middles - we drink like fish

No hard feelings OP, good luck with achieving your look and trying out some new hobbies.

I've never really been much of a drinker to be honest, so that's me ruled out there. I'm just not really a huge fan, as I've never found a drink I've particularly liked

If you want to be one of 'em - you need to try Prosecco

WhywouldIdothat likewise. Thank you

Erudite Tried it this Christmas, it was ok. Guess I could get a bottle. Is there any particular one you would suggest?

Aldi's is great - and very reasonable!

You can't buy "posh" but if you are determined to try

I would suggest as an absolute minimum you will need:

To be slim, healthy looking, good teeth, thick hair, and nice skin
Skin: preferable to be slightly off white, and to have slightly rudy/pinky cheeks, you need to look as though you spend time outside.
Make up: bin it
Hair: Long/ mid back, thick, not too dark or too blonde

Clothes: no labels on show, its naff, so bin the joules, always choose natural fabrics over manmade.
Choose brown boots/shoes rather than black, always buy the best you can afford, always leather. Avoid very high heels.
Bags, leather, vintage and a bit battered but always choose quality, so maybe Mulberry rather than something flashy
Jeans, dark blue/indigo
Shirts, always crisp cotton
Jewelry: No junk, I agree also with the poster who mentioned never wearing rings on more than one finger. Keep it simple and quality. I would suggest avoiding cheap stones like garnets or amethysts, favour emerald/ruby and preferably antique.

Take up: Riding, watching polo, point to point, Goodwood festival of speed is a great day out, shop for antiques, get outside for a walk or a climb rather than sweating in a gym.

Absolutely stuckonchapterone, I have already posted on another thread about how the other mums ignore me & I already suffer from low self esteem so I figue I should at least give my image a bit of an overhaul so I can feel a bit better. I always feel better about myself when I am more "put together" but I find it so difficult these days due to 2 dc's 2 & under. Fwiw I absolutely love the preppy sloaney look too, want to channel my inner Kate Middleton love her casual look, so the positive responses on this thread for me have been great & thanks again for posting.
Hope you are feeling better, a new look always help, I am like you too always keep things for "good wear" or "special occassion" & end up either forgetting about them or they end up going out of fashion. Need to buy more neutrals, unforunately as a sahm my budget really isn't very high:(

Or the Lidl one .

Op - as I read your posts, I understood what you are trying to achieve from a style point of view. It's good to shake things up a bit and update. It's seeking advice on where to eat and how to act that's a bit worrying. You sound lovely and you shouldn't worry about having to act a certain way. Hopefully a new look will help give you a boost in self esteem, or at least be a first confidence building step.

Depending on where you live and the hours you work, try places like the local library for reading or children's activities, museums to see if they do kids stuff and events, are your kids into sport? Take them to local cricket or rugby days to watch or learn. See if there are any children's theatre classes, unless they would hate that, or would you want to get involved in local amateur dramatics? Are you good at general knowledge and could you find a quiz team to join?

Take your kids to swimming lessons. Do you like sewing or knitting? Some areas have "stitch and bitch" groups where women, mainly, get together and sew or knit and chat. They tend to be older groups, though. If you're starting work then you'll meet some more people, presumably with some things in common, so try to get to know your colleagues a bit.

Open questions = ones that don't have a simple answer. Don't just ask, do you live near here, but try a more open, do you enjoy living around her, or what is good to do around here. Gives the other person a chance to chat so you. Don't have to do too much talking if that's not your style.

Depending on where you live and the hours you work, try places like the local library for reading or children's activities, museums to see if they do kids stuff and events, are your kids into sport? Take them to local cricket or rugby days to watch or learn. See if there are any children's theatre classes, unless they would hate that, or would you want to get involved in local amateur dramatics? Are you good at general knowledge and could you find a quiz team to join?

Take your kids to swimming lessons. Do you like sewing or knitting? Some areas have "stitch and bitch" groups where women, mainly, get together and sew or knit and chat. They tend to be older groups, though. If you're starting work then you'll meet some more people, presumably with some things in common, so try to get to know your colleagues a bit.

Open questions = ones that don't have a simple answer. Don't just ask, do you live near here, but try a more open, do you enjoy living around her, or what is good to do around here. Gives the other person a chance to chat so you. Don't have to do too much talking if that's not your style.

Oh gosh yeah - our local point to polint is awash with tweed , brown leather boots and white shirts!

Well it depends what sort of middle class / posh girl look but I would say activity wise hot yoga and horse riding. You should get into kale juice and coconut oil. Also depending on whether you are a posh country girl or city girl, if you are a city girl you would need a Prada or DKNY handbag. Not Michael Kors, that's for secretaries. You would also have some posh ballet flats but not Chanel unless you aspire to be Eurotrash or footballer's wife. I'd say a good blow-dry and mani would be compulsory. You would obviously go skiing in the winter. You might also like to hang out in Carluccio's in South Ken a bit.

It does sound as though you could have a lot of fun with this new style. I hope you enjoy your experimenting. Charity shops are great for those of us who have little money but quality clothing aspirations. Also it is a very healthy looking style. Good luck.

OP have you ever read The Ambassadors by Henry James? It's a stupendous read anyway but iirc it's the one in which an American woman in Europe makes a living (of sorts) guiding her newly rich, visiting compatriots in the ways of European aristocracy. She finds them (awash with money as they are) sadly lacking in confidence and constantly asking whether this or that is correct. Her advice is that if they like something then it is the correct thing to like - and that they will be better admired by the people they aspire to emulate if they display some commitment to their own tastes. (And this isn't even the main plot.)

Try all the brands of Prosecco, take your time to decide what you like - and why you like it.

You will need an old Barbour really battered, ditto Hunter wellies. A wet smelly doggy car also helps. Pearls are a must. If you do not have a lab. springer, borrow one. Walk a lot.

I think I understand where chapterone is coming from. Kicking over the traces and making a new start can be an appealing prospect. I don't blame her for it one bit and some of the responses on here are frankly rude, unpleasant and disappointing on MN of all places.

OP, in between the sarcastic stuff, some posters have given some decent style advice. The trick is to take a few things from other people, chuck in a couple of your own touches and be confident. Good luck. :)

OP I really don't know why you're getting such a hard time. Many people get a hair cut at the end of a relationship or before starting a new job to have a fresh start, what you want t o try and do is no different. If your previous fashion collection and lifestyle wasn't working for you and you've recovered from a major illness, why not try new activities, restaurants and clothes to see if something makes you happier. Perhaps you'll find it doesn't work for you and in 5 years time you'll want to try being a punk rocker/goth/vegan or whatever, trying new things to broaden your horizons is not a bad thing.

I hope that whatever you do makes you happy!