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How to achieve the middle class / posh girl look and lifestyle?

634 replies

stuckonchapterone · 02/05/2015 19:21

Hello everyone.

I was seen, and read some threads similar to this, however I was wondering whether anyone could give me some advice, it would be much appreciated Smile

I have long been a 'fan' of the posh / middle class fashion look e.g. long hair, joules, white stuff ect. I was wondering what staples you would suggest purchasing in order to achieve this look and lifestyle e.g. I am looking into buying a barbour coat, once I can get to the shops (currently recovering from an illness at the moment, and part of this post is get some advice before I update my wardrobe to make myself feel a bit better) Advice on where to shop / eat and act would be great too Smile

Any tips / advice to help me achieve this look / lifestyle would be greatly appreciated. No negative comments please.

Thanks all! Smile

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
Gralick · 04/05/2015 14:25

Hmm ... Gr[ay]lick. I sound like a Norwegian meat dish. I like it.

ZeroFunDame · 04/05/2015 14:34

I'd have said questions concerning the gap between the interior and exterior of a human being; background and foreground and the treachery of appearance were extremely pertinent to this thread polyhymnia Grin

florascotia · 04/05/2015 14:34

Well! We can't say that Mumsnet isn't wide-ranging - from glossy hair and gilets to life-changing novels and Norwegian fish, all in one thead! Good to talk to other E Wharton readers ....

TheGruffal0 · 04/05/2015 14:36

Try power-posing! www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en

UrsulaBrangwen · 04/05/2015 14:39

Hello Chapter One,

Firstly - well done for reaching a point in your recovery when you feel ready to strat addressing the future and look to make positive changes. Clothes and hobbies are a very good place to start. The look you wish to adopt has connotations of health and happiness with education and family at the centre. It's a look I enjoy myself.

People study the history of fashion because it reveals so much about the way people lived and 'wanted' to live. There is nothing wrong with 'faking it until you make it' in terms of sorting out your outsides first while your insides catch up. Be kind to yourself and know that it's nobody elses busniness whether you have decided to be a rock chick, sexy siren or yummy mummy.

I agree with the poster up thread who suggested that people were shocked by your honesty and this has led to some of the less generous comments that you have received. The underlying message for some seems to be 'how very dare you - you lower mc upstart!' Yes, I'm sure that some of the comments were genuinely well meant and worried about your 'mental state' but that is not the case for all!

In relation to that, I would say that the look you are after is not hard to emulate at all. It is not necessary to discover the elusive aura of the mc but there is some advice you can follow (some of which I will doubtless be repeating from upthread).

This all comes from a girl from a very wc background who after doing very well at school went on to get a degree and a ma from a russel group and then into a mc profession. I am about your age and had quite an unhappy childhood before getting into private school on a scholarship and I always wanted to be like those effortless girls who made life seem so fun and natural. I see it for what it is now but I also like to convey confidence, sophistication and health so I dress accrodingly.

Clothes:

I buy most of my clothes from White Stuff, Fat Face, Hobbs with some H&M and Boden. Why not copy some of the suggested combinations on the websites first?

I agree with straight leg denim, leather belt and shirts (I like a plain or floral print), broderie tops are nice for summer as are pretty sleevless blouses. I always were tan leather sandals and wedges at this time of year. Boden have some lovely ones.

Fat Face wrap dresses fit really well and often have a slightly kooky print that is on trend for our type. I like to wear mine with a Boden cashmere cardigan. Always get at least 15% off. I normally team with a sterling silver locket my sone bought me and 'Wuthering Heights' earrings from the Literary Gift Company.

It's a nice look because it's feminine and very presentable without being too formal. I agree about no black. I never wear black now.

Hobbies

Knitting (loads of youtube vids to get you started) - it's a good time to start making scarves fo the family ready for Autumn as first ones would take you ages.

Listen to Woman's Hour every day or get the pod cast.

Read ... just read read read. For my personal reccomendations fo things I've read lately try Jeanette Winterson's Why be Happy when you can be Normal?, Iain Banks The Quarry and Helen McDonald's H is fo Hawk as well as any Jane Austen and Barbara Pym.

Vist museums and art galleries. Get into something and be knowledgeable about it. I like the Pre-Raphaelites.

Read The Guardian and The Times - try The London Review of Books.

I know lots of v mc people and soem like horses and some don't. It's not mandatory.

Food

Get a weekly organic veg box

Eat in organic cafes that serve local produce. Visit farmer's markets.

Ps

The idea of being wc is now generally villified in the media as being stupid and unhealthy - and as a result of this no one can blame anyone from wanting to move away from this image. On that note read Owen Jones The Demonisation of the Working Class. It's an eye opener.

MiniTheMinx · 04/05/2015 14:42

Gralick, not me, just pics to illustrate the look. If only I looked like either of them, I don't, I look like me.

Gralick · 04/05/2015 14:49

Damn, Mini, you could have bluffed that Wink

KiteKit · 04/05/2015 14:50

I have read most of this thread and think the OP has had an bit of a battering. If someone came on here and said 'I love the 1940/ 50's look but don't know where to start' do you think they would have had the same reaction? I doubt it. I think they would have a load of helpful posts of where to buy clothes online and related lifestyle activities.

It seems to me that some people are affronted at the idea that the OP want to appear 'posh' rather than retro, edgy, post punk, etc etc etc

Anyway, OP I had this sort of look for many years in my 20's. It boiled down to good quality clothing and more importantly in some ways, good quality accessories - decent classic leather bag (I favoured brown leather, cross body strap large plain bags), good leather belt (I always went for brown), the best coat you can afford, preferably wool or tweed, leather chelsea boots (the best you can find, there is a huge difference between Office and Churches etc.) pearls - I preferred fresh water but decent cultured are good too. Very glossy hair. I had a bob then but kept it in very good condition. Opaque tights with flat leather shoes - I was very tall and slim and wore knee length skirts with opaques and brogues, loafers, very good quality ballet shoes.

Lots of rich plain colours such as wine, bottle green, burgundy, brown and tons of navy. Rarely black. Lots of oatmeal colour and dark charcoal. good leather gloves (bought mine and my bag in Florence at a market but they were lovely)

I have moved on from this look now but it served me well and I really loved it

I have an aunt in her 60's now who has worn this look her entire life, nodding to the changing fashions through colour and shape / cut but essentially that preppy look. We call it the 'Ralph Lauren' look and she looks fabulous! Really groomed and glossy and very true to herself (she was not born posh or particularly middle class but lived that life style through her own choice and efforts)

Good places to shop would be:

Boden (plain colours)
Joules
Laura Ashley
Bennetton
Noa Noa
Hobbs
Phase 8
Whistles
Jigsaw

Good luck - I hope you find your 'style' because when you do, it makes you feel so much better about yourself

polyhymnia · 04/05/2015 14:53

Zero, fair point!

stuckonchapterone · 04/05/2015 14:54

UrsulaBrangwen Wow! So informative, thank you very much! Also, thank you for understanding where I am coming from and not vilifying me, it is much appreciated Smile

OP posts:
stuckonchapterone · 04/05/2015 14:57

Thank you to KiteKit also. I hope I can look classic through old age like your aunt! Smile

OP posts:
StampysLoveGarden · 04/05/2015 15:05

I agree, I said so upthread, Mumsnet is so middle class but if anybody says honestly I want to look middle class they're mocked.

Anyway, totally agree with the comment that if she'd wanted to look 40s or 50s she'd have got a much more polite response. good luck OP

Dressing "the part" definitely helped me when I had hit a rough patch.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 04/05/2015 15:07

MN is full of Middle class wannabesWink

Kehoe · 04/05/2015 15:15

OP, depending on where you live meetup.com can be excellent if you want to get into a new activity with similar people (books, art, cultural events).

my advice would be to go in and just observe for a bit before making any judgements - don't look for your new BFF or date or get laddered on the first meet or worry if you're not in on the main conversations straight off.

just be polite and smiley and mysterious and give it time. Once you're a regular face you'll start making proper connections.

No-one will care if you don't know about "culture" so don't feel you have to overshare. That's another tip: don't overshare or gush or feel you have to explain yourself or give strangers your life story.

KiteKit · 04/05/2015 15:15

Stuck the thing about my aunt is that even looking back at old family photos in the fashion wilderness that was the 80's she still looks like 'her'. Myself and my sister used to short of laugh at it then but her look has stood the test of time and she is aging very gracefully (far more so than my own mother who is her sister!)

Perfume is another thing to consider - smelling 'expensive' can really lift the spirits! My aunt wears Terre D'Hermes and she smells wonderful.

SurlyCue · 04/05/2015 15:24

'I love the 1940/ 50's look but don't know where to start' do you think they would have had the same reaction?

I did exactly that a couple of weeks ago and had 100% positive, supportive responses with lots of links and advice. Really horrible that OP has had such a shitty response to her thread as actually i think it has been really useful and came on to say that i was inspired by it and actually bought a few items of clothing today that i wouldnt have tried before.

So thanks OP for inspiring me! Should just add that although i live the look OP aspires to i certainly dont have the budget to match but i found my lovely items in peacocks for not very much money at all. Yes they may be cheap but who knows, i may tire of the look by summer Grin

OP enjoy your new clothes and lifestyle. I bet you'll look fab.

almondcakes · 04/05/2015 15:35

How do you 'act' forties then?

I find that more weird than the middle class thing, given that people who lived through the war are still alive.

Want2bSupermum · 04/05/2015 15:40

I've been called posh a lot. I identify as being middle class.

The most important part to change about yourself is to smile inwardly. Eventually that smile will ooze out of your skin. For hair do a glaze. I have dark hair like you and just don't do blond. Make up is mineral powder. Hides a multitude of sins including alcohol consumption, speaking of which I drink quality not quantity.

Water is in huge jugs around the home with slices of lemon or strawberries in them. Tastes great and does wonders for my skin.

Clothing wise I wear very plain clothes. I live in the US now and buy most of my tops from places like Ralph lauren and boutiques in town or anthropology. Work clothes come from a shop called the limited (not to be confused with limited).

Everything is plain with no pattern. I have a four really nice Hermes scarves that hid my baby belly and are my pattern that I add. Other than that I'm somewhat Americanized with threaded eyebrows and daily shaved legs.

Working on getting back to my pre pregnancy weight before having DC3. I was always with a BMi below 25 pre DC. Achieved it by eating well (meat, veg and fruit with a smattering of things like oatmeal) and lots of walking. I did ride until I had a nasty accident. It is not at all necessary to ride to be posh or MC. It's about enjoying nature and the power of an animal.

squoosh · 04/05/2015 15:44

'The most important part to change about yourself is to smile inwardly. Eventually that smile will ooze out of your skin.'

Is inwardly smiling a middle class thing? Not sure I like the sound of the ooze, doesn't it stain?

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 04/05/2015 15:45

People would have thought it weird if OP had asked for advice on how to eat and act for 40's and 50's though wouldn't they?

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 04/05/2015 15:46

*more, not for

Tizwailor · 04/05/2015 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KiteKit · 04/05/2015 15:51

I think there are clubs / activities / live band dancing where people who like to dress in retro (40's / 50's / 60's) etc go? Or am I imagining it?

I just don't get that what to OP has asked is SO 'way out there weird'. I think people are enjoying jumping on the mocking band wagon

polyhymnia · 04/05/2015 15:52

I imagine that people of any class are able to 'smile inwardly ' if they try. Personally, being MC, Id be a bit afraid it would come out as a smug smirk or ( Heaven forbid!) a look of entitlement . But perhaps I just haven't got the hang of it! Better stick to reading Edith Wharton.

airedailleurs · 04/05/2015 15:56

I really really loved the House of Mirth, both the book and the film...

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