How to achieve the middle class / posh girl look and lifestyle?

[stuckonchapterone]

Hello everyone.

I was seen, and read some threads similar to this, however I was wondering whether anyone could give me some advice, it would be much appreciated

I have long been a 'fan' of the posh / middle class fashion look e.g. long hair, joules, white stuff ect. I was wondering what staples you would suggest purchasing in order to achieve this look and lifestyle e.g. I am looking into buying a barbour coat, once I can get to the shops (currently recovering from an illness at the moment, and part of this post is get some advice before I update my wardrobe to make myself feel a bit better) Advice on where to shop / eat and act would be great too

Any tips / advice to help me achieve this look / lifestyle would be greatly appreciated. No negative comments please.

Thanks all!

I'll search for it zero .

OP I can relate to wanting to have an overhaul after being ill, I spent a small fortune on make up while I was hobbling around on crutches BUT I think the look you are trying to achieve will come across as a bit try hard ( that's not meant to be nasty, sorry if it comes across like that)

It's easy to up your game though while still being yourself- regular haircuts, keep your nails nice, pretty earrings and simple jewellery,a new hobby is a great idea but don't try and be someone you aren't or it will come across as fake imho. Just be the best you that you can

How posh do you want to go op?
Lady Tatiana Mountbatten? This look is fairly easy to create. There's very cheap similar shifts for sale on eBay, this isn't a hard look to recreate.
jealous because it looks cool and comfy but my massive breasticles would look ridiculous in it

I can't wade through 17 pages of people saying ''good teeth'' but I hope people have gone easy on the OP, when I newly a single mother (if that makes sense) I felt the weight of people's judgement on me more than I do now, and since having got a job. When I was a single parent on benefits, I was obsessive about being slim, I watched my weight like a hawk, I was scouting charity shops for leather bags, didn't buy much but what I did buy was simple, and usually navy or another unadventurous colouur. All about fit, never a pattern, or at least, a partial pattern around a rim, that's as far as I'd go! I was very simple in my look.

Now, I am more confident I'm a bit more adventurous. I know I'm putting my own experience on tot he op here but I hope you think about why you feel you want to conform. Fekk that!

white leggings and white high heeled shoes! When I was on benefits I'd have avoided that look!! and still would

Oh I don't know flora - all the things you list as the opposite of ideal could be part of a very strong and equally valid style statement. (Though admittedly not for the OP.)

The landscape would be more than dull if everyone adhered to ghastly good taste.

Some very good points Harpy. It may well be a sign of vulnarabilty, but some of these responses have not done anything to improve the esteem of the OP, have they?

I also think that the comment of acting middle class has been taken far too seriously and has been taken out of context. An OP who after illness, is asking for advice, further asking to be spared negative comments, has in my opinion had some unproductive responses.

I've just started a thread about these REISS tutorials Not sure if it's quite what you're after but you could maybe get something out of them.. All the looks are classy yet understated...

That's really interesting happy thanks for the link

Zero - I agree, on the right person, breaking the supposed 'rules' can look striking, but I was thinking of the OP and what she said she wanted.

It can take a bold spirit and lots of self-confidence to go for the dramatic look, or to dress very differently from those around you. And I think that one of the reasons for the OP's original post was to seek reassurance after a bad time in her life by looking for some sort of 'acceptable uniform'. It's not for me to say whether that's good or bad - I was just trying to be helpful.

Restrained clothing might also be someone's personal taste - I still can't get to like those gold metal brand labels on some expensive handbags, for example.

Zero and Flora.

The world would be boring if we all dressed the same. I can never work out whether I wear classic clothes because I wear them well, it's just me and my upbringing/environment or I am too chicken to be more dramatic. I think it's 95% the first 2 with 5% of chicken thrown in!

Marking place

No sign of the op, maybe she is riding a horse around waitrose while sipping prosecco from an emma bridgewater mug & swishing her long caramel highlighted hair

Thank you to all the ladies who have continued to help me on my journey, much appreciated!

One thing which has upset me more than anything is people making judgement about my mental state of mind. I know I have stated that I am covering from illness, however please do not feel as if you are able to comment on my mental well being e.g. by commenting I am vulnerable etc. I understand such comments may be out of kind concern, however it appears quite patronising, and has just upset me to be quite honest.

I understand if you think this thread is ridiculous, sad, or pathetic, but please as stated just keep these comments to yourself, I am simply seeking advice. Also, there is no need for users to congregate together to celebrate a post describing the things I have outlined above, please just keep the negativity away, I simply don't need it.

I've never understood the concept of style icons (my ideal is a nomad herding cattle across the Sahara in stunningly blue robes,) but - lately - I find myself running any proposed purchase past Zaha Hadid and Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Honourable Woman. (In my head ...) I bear no resemblance to either but if I feel at least one of them would approve of what I'm reaching for it makes me happier.

I remember once at a theatrical event having Björk brush past me and realising that my Jean-Paul Gaultier get-up was way, way too tame.

Hah! That was in response to novice rather than you OP.

OP you've been given a myriad of information on this thread, a lot of it helpful and useful. Bearing in mind I am neither middle class or posh, I feel the easiest way to check out mc people is to shop/browse in Waitrose, as to what to eat/buy there, there's a great list here what to buy at Waitress thread

As for activities I belong to a tennis club, which is perceived locally as being a bit 'posh' and again it's mc central there, expensive jewellery, well fitted blazers and jeans, good quality leather bags, e.g. Chloe Marcie, Tory Burch/Lanvin flats. They do have lovely swishy hair. They look good but it's not a look that would work for me.

PetiteBateau OP is still here. No horse riding, no waitrose shop (although I did want to pop to one to get some soup) no caramel highlighted hair (I have no desire to dye my hair, as I have very dark hair and a very pale face, hence would look very very odd) And I am drinking some tea out of a cup DC made me, not an Emma Bridgewater one

OP I don't think most of us want to upset you. It is just that, in order to offer advice, it is natural to consider 'why is this advice needed?' That is not being patronising - it is simply so the advice can be shaped to answer the original question as precisely as helpfully as possible.

People do follow clothing 'codes', determined by wealth/upbringing/ age/politics/occupation/place of residence etc, but a lot of these are unwritten. They change, subtly, from year to year. They often overlap, or merge form a kind of continuum. And, as this thread has demonstrated so clearly, they are interpreted differently by different people. One code can also over-ride another - as the photo of the aristocratic girl in white showed. In it, she was dressed like other young people at that gathering, not in traditionally 'posh' style. It would be reasonable to assume that she wanted to 'fit in' with the people around her.

Because of all this, it's not possible to be dogmatic about a 'look' without knowing a little bit of the context. You did say in your original post that you were recovering from illness, and I know from personal experience that can sometimes make one feel in need of a bit of a confidence-boost. I'm sorry if transferred my own experience on to yours, incorrectly. And, to repeat myself, I really did not wish to offend.

very dark hair and a very pale face

Oh OP you could have so much more fun using Helena Bonham-Carter as your model.

I love Helena BC

OP have you started doing anything yet? You' ve had loads of good advice too. :)

zerofundame you are so right! I love hbc. I remember being in late teens and floating about in my old gymkhana jacket and an ancient peach bridesmaid dress and DMs feeling oh so Helena. I also had mental hair.
I'm going to stay with my folks next week so they can spoiled their gdd. I'm going to have a happy shopping day rummaging in the many vintage shops.
I wonder if my old jacket is still there, they're so trendy right now.

It's more fun to think more creative with clothes rather than lock yourself into a rather rigid middle class box.

florascotia I am not naming names, but that post was in no way direct at you! In fact you've been very positive about it all, which is lovely

The posters I am referring to know exactly who they are. Making assumptions as to my mental state of mind is intrusive and rude, and has upset regardless whether it was their intention or not.

I don't want to turn this thread into a negative one, for as Twitchcoco I've had lots of great advice!

I doubt the concerned, dubious and critical posts will dry up entirely OP, purely because your explanation (I've been ill, I have a new job in Marketing) doesn't really address the confusion (why post in S&B for advice about what to eat and how to act?)

In all candour, I suspect an OP asking 'how should I act?' would ring alarm bells in most contexts.

The concern seems rather lovely to me (MN at its best), although I appreciate that it's annoying you.