I need a wedding outfit. Many caveats. Wah!

[TrollTheRespawnJeremy]

Help please!

Requirements:

Large of nork and arse so no bodycon or strapless/spaghetti straps.

Knees that have been operated on and so are a scarred mess so preferably mid to long length dress.

Nothing that requires sky high heels because of said knees.

Very pale complexion. Browny/blondey longish hair.

Tendency to wear a lot of black. Also swishy hippy dippy temple pants.

Fancy the challenge?!

Go to John Lewis and seek the stylist's advice.

What size and budget?

Do you want sleeves?

How do you feel about this?

I had pretty similar requirements. I bought this from toast. It's much nicer in real life than on the website plus I got it when it was the sale.anyway I like it m.johnlewis.com/mt/www.johnlewis.com/store/toast-shigawa-dress/p1805206?colour=Sulphur&un_jtt_v_dummy=yes#page_loaded

What shops can you get to easily?

Do you like this sort of style? (Think the colour is too pale for you?)

That mint velvet one is lovely! Similar norkage issues here btw.

Oh lots of replies ;)

I am not really a John Lewis style advisor type of person.
More of a Helena Bonham Carter style of dressing, but I need to pull it together a bit.

I still want to look like 'me' just less me.

Budget is fair- really depends on what the item is. (Happy paying xxx for a viv w dress)

Te mint velvet dress is lovely but I'm not sure about the colour or fitting the boobs in. Might end up looking like a giant boob shelf

What size?

Longer length here or here

Monochrome but too casual? Depends on accessories

Anglomania crepe?

Beautiful if your colourings allow

If you like hippy/HBC style, have you tried [www.joebrowns.co.uk]?

I love them (although sometimes they're too out-there for me!).

There's a range of both dark and light colours. Can't remember if you mentioned your size, but they also do plus-sized range via simplybe.