Help me find my new 'single me' style - please!

[OohMrDarcy]

I ended my marriage almost six months ago after finding about about 'D' H's affair... Am now finally starting to feel like me again, and wanting to get out of the mummy drudge style I've been stuck in for years!

I am overweight - but losing slowly (1st 3lb since I kicked his arse out). Around a size 18 at the mo, though varies.

I am 5' 4" , long dark hair and brown eyes.

I want to slowly develop a more stylish look - but with very limited budget / stylish flair!

I have dyed my hair (medium brown mahogony or something) and am getting it cut for the first time in 18 months (yep - I know!) on saturday ... can't bloody wait!

So what do I need to be thinking about clothes / makeup wise ? I will add a pic to my profile temporarily so you can see what I look like now

I'm not normally a makeup person, unless going out somewhere special - but would like to look more polished so thinking a mineral powder / clear mascara or something - would that work?!

Anyhoo - any advice will be most gratefully received! Am also working on getting fit again and basically finding the old me under all this baggage!

Starting to think I might be ready to date again - but have never really done the whole dating thing before so this is partly kicking me to think about my image

ok pic uploaded!

I can't seem to click on your profile (but this is probably just me not doing it properly). I'm a similar size to you although a bit taller. Congratulations on your weightloss.

Do you get your eyebrows done at the moment? This is the one beauty treatment that I seem to manage and it really does make a difference. Get them tinted too if you want to see a real difference. If you don't like mascara (I don't) then get your eyelashes dyed black (much darker than your brows).

I use cover up and a slightly sparkly moisturiser instead of foundation. Lipstick is great - a slightly browny dark pink for you perhaps - and you can rub a bit on the apples of your cheeks instead of blusher.

I really struggle with what clothes to wear so avidly waiting for the advice you receive on this. It might help if you mention what shops you like now, what shape you are and what sort of budget you are looking at.

Ok thanks, can you click my name now?

Haven't had my eyebrows done recently but definitely in the plan to be done regularly again - I noticed a massive improvement when I started getting them done before.

Not sure about getting eyebrows / lashes tinted... seems a lot of effort to me!

oh you look lovely. Lipstick would definitely show off your lips. On the brow and lash tint - I have to admit I haven't had mine done for ages, but it does save on having to put on mascara if you want to look more groomed everyday.

If you wear glasses everyday, you would definitely benefit from wearing some eye make up as I have a feeling your glasses make your eyes look a bit smaller.

Once you are ready to date, some hot rollers will be good for adding volume to your hair and making you look glam (definitely too much effort for every day).

One thing I have found useful is a couple of jersey/soft blazers (h&m, monsoon last season, even the dreaded boden via eBay) which I can throw on over baggy tops and jeans. These give some shape without having to make the whole outfit fitted.

I'm a non make up person usually but I've come to love Benefit big beautiful eyes

oh thankyou - but that was me in 'slightly dressed up mode' lol... went out for dinner with a mate on valentines day haha

I do wear glasses.... all day bloody everyday - which I hate as think I have nice eyes without, you are right - they make my eyes look smaller. Ok - eye makeup I can do - don't normally bother as I've always thought my glasses hide it, but will take that one and give it a go

Hot rollers?! Never heard of them! lol I do struggle with volume to my hair, but hoping the cut will help too (thinking shoulder length with some chin length layers maybe)

Blazers! What an idea - forgot about them, got a couple for work last year... will go on the hunt for some more casual ones - thanks!

You have gorgeous skin ! I don't think you need to do too much make up wise.
Did you say you were going darker ? I have really dark hair and eyebrows and use a chocolate brown eyebrow powder and brush to just fill the gaps.

It helps frame my face iyswim ?
That and a good lipstick instantly make me feel a bit more put together.

Well done on the weight loss too

oh god I really don't have good skin! but thanks for the compliment anyway

yeah hair is slightly darker now and will be cut at weekend... will upload a awful, just taken pic of the new hair colour - please say it suits!

Well done on the weight loss! You're pretty, you have lovely lips (if that isn't too weird to say!).

Clothes, I'm not sure if it is a bit mummy-ish but I like wearing big scarves in this weather. This is cute:
www.oasis-stores.com/oasis/fcp-product/5320065716

Some well fitting jeans are probably a good buy - I find I don't need to spend too much, it is more about the right fit. I have nice ones from Next - their lift, slim and shape ones are nice (best to get as tight as you can as they "grow" a bit and you're shrinking anyway ): www.next.co.uk/g7w4076s4#680725g7w

I like wearing with ankle or calf length boots either flatish or with a little block heel (so still comfy). And maybe go and try lots of things on you might not normally buy and see how you feel?

Make up wise, BB cream (or CC cream? not sure of the difference) is really nice, it is just like tinted moisturizer really. I've used a few and they've all been lovely. Then I use a few bits from ELF. I use this in sheer (it is a powder really but light and not cakey at all):
eyeslipsface.co.uk/en/restofworld/powder/mineral-booster/invt/6600

And a tinted lip balm would look lovely on you too:
eyeslipsface.co.uk/en/restofworld/lip-treatments/mineral-moisturising-lip-tint/invt/6760

Maybe a little bit of blusher (I sometimes just use lipstick on my cheeks!).

I find a little bit of mascara is the other thing that is quickest but helps most - I use l'oreal beauty tubes as it doesn't flake/smudge at all and you can just take it off with warm water and a flannel/cloth.

And if you like, come over to the dating thread when you're ready .

I find pinterest good - you can make a board and collect some pics of outfits you like. If you aren't keen on glasses you could try contacts? I love having the option of either. I think you can usually get a free trial of 2 weeks worth so you could just get the free trial and wear them occasionally :).

thanks Raspberry!

I was wearing a lipgloss in the pic which probably helped (not used to this compliment stuff!)

I love pretty scarves.. have a feeling they will become a 'thing' of mine! Only have one at the mo! Jeans - yes I have one pair but need more, will check out those next ones! Can't wear heels at the mo as have an unstable ankle on one side, and literally anything other than completely flat, I end up on my knees with no warning (arranging physio to try and sort that too!)

Will check out those makeup bits - thanks!

Dating thread?! Haven't seen one - send me a link please!

Have noticed more and more I'm thinking of myself as a bit of a project now!

hmmm contacts... the story of my life! Have tried them 3 times so far... due to my stupid eyes I have to have gas permeables in interesting prescriptions, so far I've not found any comfortable enough to wear for long periods of time - but might give them another go, they are always bringing better ones out after all, just a shame that ones for my eyes are the last to be developed every time - oh and my eyes aren't suitable for laser blasting either... sigh!

Ah, I know what gas permeables are like - much less comfy :/. So I totally understand!

Sorry about your ankle, I have some lovely flat black biker ankle boots that are nice with skinny jeans, skirts, dresses and good for all year round except summer.

Here's the dating thread :
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2317404-Dating-Thread-88?pg=6

Ok have added a new pic that I took in the car this evening (waiting in carpark... not driving!)

I like the look of those elf products... which colours do you think would suit me? They aren't expensive so going to give them a punt!

Lovely pic - love the new hair colour. What dye did you use? I did mine recently but it has gone a bit too dark :/ - hoping it'll lighten up soon. I think your hair will look really lovely just past shoulder length and wavy-ed up a bit.

Your skin is really good! I'm similar colouring to you I think. I use sheer in the mineral booster but I think all those suit all colourings anyway. I'd go for either rose or natural in the lip tint. And I also use this blusher in superstar which is lovely but you need the teeniest bit! I think it will last forever:
eyeslipsface.co.uk/en/restofworld/blush/hd-blush/invt/83230

And a little bit of black mascara would just define your eyes a little bit I think.

Their primer is nice too (I just use the clear one):
eyeslipsface.co.uk/en/restofworld/primer/mineral-infused-face-primer/invt/83400

Thanks It was a nice n easy 'natural medium mahogany brown' I think... I'd love my hair wavy-ed up... unfortunately It is determined to stay straight! Even when my sister and bestie have attacked it with various curling implements it is straight by the end of the day! I personally love the slightly wavy surfy look with hair, but I doubt I will ever achieve that!

Ok - am ordering the sheer booster, plus the rose lip tint to try (the natural is the sort of colour I'd normally wear - and very similar to what I'm wearing in my newest pic) and a primer... I have mascara, so I shall have a go at making myself wear it more!

Hoping to have a no more than 5 mins routine, to be able to fit it in regularly!

Thanks for the advice raspberry! I might even dare to face the dating thread soon ... maybe..... wibble!

My god, your skin is gorgeous! You're really pretty. How old are you? I think with your hair and the need for glasses you could carry off a really lovely young hipstery look with a thickish fringe and more fashionable specs - Zooey Deschanel-esque.

My skin really isn't great! I feel like I should take a close up of the horrid pores around my nose, or my chin just to prove it haha!

I'm 34.... is this good or bad?!

I don't like full fringes on me - but am debating a thicker swept over one at hair cut - can't go without completely as have a really high forehead! I am due opticians so will be choosing some new specs then too....

Any thoughts on clothes? Thats my main bugbear really - I have a LOT of grey tops in varying styles / shapes right now... along with black trousers for work / jeans outside!

I can do dressing up (with help from s&b obviously!) but its the smart-casual look I generally get wrong, either mismatched or too casual iykwim ?

Brows threaded, funky hoop earrings and some glittery scarves/snoods to brighten up the grey.
I actually prefer your hair lighter, in the second pic, sorry if that is the wrong thing to say!

yep brows are planned in! Glittery scarves.... now there's a thought!

I like my hair both colours - just wanted rid of the greys for a while, and thats the sort of colour I used to buy - couldn't work out any others!

Oasis, H&M and Accessorize all good for scarves.
Do you have a good bag and coat too? And some funky but comfy trainers?