Crepeyistmas Time, Camel Toe and Whine...

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Pandering to the uncouth...

Arf at Dubious Shoes

Oh yes, MI, you can always tell the quality of a man from his shoes - was always something I looked at

Beachy at your DH having done all the wrapping. Job for this afternoon when DD goes out, I hope!

Well, I am in a remarkably calm queue at Lidl. And were there any need for further proof that MrsS, in addition to being an International Woman of Mystery, is a Towering Genius I can point to my jar of morello cherries in syrup and my bottle of cheap cherry brandy. Will make both boozy and non-boozy versions

Beachy - tell dh to use small squares of wrapping paper as tags - cut square, fold in half to make a triangle, write inside, and then stick to present with rolled up tape. Looks nice and is v easy. Post-It notes will lead to madness (not to mention office yellow being a very unchristmassy colour for under the tree ).

I was in Waitrose at 9am this morning looking for their large blinis - instead of the teeny weeny blinis they delivered which will barely hold more than 3 cells of smoked salmon (how's that for a middle class problem? Waitrose delivered the wrong size blinis, snort). They didn't have any, but I didn't think they would. Still, I got a few bits, and croissants and an extra bottle of prosecco because you never know and Bendicks Bittermints because no one will remember how much I love them. There were a lot of men standing blocking aisles, talking on their phone and saying things like "I don't know what that is". Perhaps one of them was Rosebag's dh. One bloke had a recipe for a particularly tricky looking stuffing in his hand and I did feel quite sorry for him.

Good luck with the wrapping, cooking and final countdown everyone. Hope your manor reveals a glut of posh cherries, MI. I have to go and soak haricot beans now.

Crossed posts, MI - yay for Lidl. I have one of their stollens in the kitchen, it weighs a reassuring ton.

At something of a loose end today. Had thought I should take the Young Master to see the Christmas lights Up West, but did fear the crowds, rather. However, he has declared he just wants to stay at home and 'hang out', so that's what we're doing. I'm still in my dressing gown, and we've just had a game of Monopoly. I shall shortly make some meringues, to de-healthy-fy the dessert. And then boil a ham in coke, a la Nigella.

I learned a valuable lesson yesterday - castles are almost impossible to wrap, and as soon as you pick up the blasted thing, your fingers will go straight through the (cheap) paper.

I have the tags in my bag, it's just I'm at the office and he's about 80 miles away. I'm going home to play 'replace the post it note with a tag hopefully for the right person, depending on if he identified it correctly before he wrapped it' I shall do this during Masterchef.

Wilbur, you mean you're not making your own blinis? Shame on you

MI, glad to see you have found your cherries!

I am failing to do anything other than drinking tea and gossiping with my neighbour, but at least DS has gone out

Dp is off food shopping, ds is delivering christmas cards. I am off for christmas lunch with colleagues, and they are turning all the lights of at the circuit board here I may take this as a subtle hint that I need to go home early.....

I am supposed to be in tomorrow, but it's looking less and less attractive...

Dubious Shoes? (crocodile skin?)

Pointy black slipons with jeans

Sound like "African Church Shoes"

Also Dubious Jeans, come to that .

I'm so S&B, innit. As demonstrated by the fact I nipped in to have a quick eyebrow shape on the way back from Lidl.

Ah yes, I should have booked in for that - wonder if they've got any slots...

DD has appeared, watched some Real Housewives crap, done a small amount of Art homework and is now in the shower. DH has been gone for an hour - filling the car up and getting it cleaned

Well done on the fruitful cherry hunt, MI.

Dubious shoes - definitely a watch-out. Not just on men. My lovely aunty came to a family wedding last year, encountering (for the first time) the OW my uncle had left her for. Aunty H behaved in a very dignified way, said a polite hello, then walked away with a sniff. The single derogatory comment she made? "Dreadful shoes." She was right.

DH has phoned from a traffic jam in Finchley. He has the full complement of DCs and ILs in the car and has spent a bracing morning visiting family graves (how have I missed out on such a treat, you may ask?). I've directed him to a local Wetherspoons for lunch, as the IL's taste in food is not what I would call "sophisticated".

The plumber has also called - I hardly dare believe him, but apparently the shower is working. Praise the lord.

I'm a bit about these cleaner bonuses. We've only had ours for a few months, and I didn't know paying for the week off was a "thing", so I just gave her some chocolates and smellies. I shall note this for next year (if she doesn't ditch me for being a skinflint).

Am I the only person in middleclassdom who doesn't have a cleaner? I just shovel up the worst of the detritus if we have visitors. Luckily, we have enough visitors to prevent too much of a health hazard.

We no longer have a cleaner on account of the recession. Our house is the grottier for it.

Hurrah for the shower CV[smile.

I have made progress and have a turkey. DD2 is making the orange parfait and DS has made a sponge cake . I have all the shopping except sprouts, potatoes and cloves. I think I'll leave those till tomorrow.

DD1 has declared our home impossible to work in and has gone to the library!

I've never had a cleaner - house is a tip - actually I think it's probably too dirty for a cleaner.

I forgot to cancel the veg box delivery. DP will not be pleased. We now have a sprout glut.

My cleaner is a dog sitter/walker really, so I can go to work. I didn't have one when I didn't work out of the house. I do luff her though! Also cuts down on dh shouty cleaning, which must be worth something!

Still arfing at the shoe discussion. But fashions change. I certainly remember the years that we'd rather die than be seen in a pair of Birkenstocks...,
I doubt its DH, wilbur. He's probably the one calling about buying a box of paxo, never mind ingredients for a recipe...

Hurrah for CVs shower! Did you mean the wetherspoons at Tally Ho? Is it still there?
Tilly, DD has also been doing art today and will have to every day of the holidays, she's so behind.
I don't envy any of you the volume of wrapping and card writing. We delivered cards today to the other residents of our block. Now we've just polished off too much lunch at the Harbour. Going back to make Icecream. DH and DS coming down on train tonight.

I think if it came to either the cleaner or the DC I might hesitate

I have never had a cleaner and don't ever want one. I prefer to do it myself, even if grumpily and not very thoroughly. And I make my dcs do their share. Even dh has finally learnt to tidy up the kitchen occasionally. I don't require everything to sparkle. As long as it's tidy and basic levels of hygiene are maintained, that's good enough. Tip: if you ever visit my house, don't look in the oven. It's for the best.

I would love a cleaner, but again the recession has put paid to that for now. Like Hattie, I feel we may have reached a point of not being able to employ a cleaner for long enough for them to get the house ready to clean . Still it does mean the dcs are learning reluctantly to clean bathrooms and kitchen properly. I have actually just cleaned the living properly and it does look nice, should do it more often really.