Trying too hard?

[ilovethewinter]

I'm 48, and realise that now I have to put a little more effort into looking good or at least presentable, both in time and the products I use.Recently I have noticed a trend in ladies of my more mature age maybe trying a little too hard. Am I alone in thinking this? you know, over dyed, coiffured hair, tons of make up and clothes and jewellery more suited to strictly(and this is while out shopping!) Maybe its me and I need to try even harder,but personally I think its a bit much.

Yes, that bothers me too, I think less is often more as you get older - hair left a bit disheveled, lip balm instead of precisely applied lipstick. The key is to strike a balance between looking groomed but artlessly undone.

Yep, I agree. Recently I was standing on an escalator behind a woman wearing beautiful clothes. She had a great body but I could tell she was 'old' by her over done hair. Very ageing.

Absolutely agree. Few things more ageing than very obviously 'done' , too neat hair and overdone eyes and lips. I'm very much in favour of ' no makeup makeup' - lip balms, not bright powdery lipsticks etc.

Some 'statement' necklaces can also be too try hard.

And over matched shoes and bags.

Ooh and thick, powdery foundation instead of light application of tinted moisturiser.

I'm glad some of you agree with me. I didn't want too come across as bitchy. What prompted me to write this, was that yesterday when I was out in town,this look was most obvious.What really did it was 2 overly blond women late 40's ish, in short fur coats, leggings and studded high heel boots! I began to wonder if maybe I should up my game!

I'll still be wearing bright lipstick when I'm 99!

'No makeup makeup' my tail end.

No makeup makeup is fine for the school run.

I wear red lipstick, fur coats, high heels and my hair in a beehive to go shopping. I'll still be doing it when I'm in my 80s 40s. A distinct personal style is much more impressive/appealing to me than blending into the background in tasteful muted tones.

I agree that it can be really ageing and unattractive. I saw a pair of women v similar to those that you are describing- expensive, 'perfect' hair, v overdone fake tan, outfits as above. Their faces looked older than they probably were because of all the fake tan/ make up, sharp corners of the hair style. The overall effect was that they were trying far too hard and looked a bit desperate.

I also notice examples of gorgeous looking women in their 50s/ 60s/ 70s with glowing skin, lovely figures, clothes that suit them but they don't try to look 'perfect' and look a million times better and more attractive than the pair of some above.

No matter what age you are I think you should dress to please yourself, not passers-by

I see this more often in younger women tbh, wearing what I would consider to be "too much" makeup, which to my (old) eyes is not flattering, but I expect I look equally shit to them if they even notice me

I agree with you Milkthistle.

Are you Patsy Stone, NotToday?

I know what you mean TheCow. On our Christmas do last night, one of my, much younger, colleagues looked so "try too hard" with her OTT outfit, fake tan, way too much makeup etc that she looked really out of place compared to the rest of us.

But she probably thought I looked old and dowdy (but I'm OK with that).

Exactly Bunbaker, but who am I to judge? I do wonder sometimes if people can see properly or put their makeup on in a darkish room or whatever, but I think it's just that some women do prefer to trowel it on a bit, each to their own though!

I think that after a certain age, it's easier to do "overdone" than "underdone but amazing" - because most underdone ends up looking "underdone and looking a bit scruffy" unless you have real skill and time.

Annoyingly, it's often easier to do really 'done' blow dried hair and makeup than spending twice as long looking like you are 'just naturally beautiful' once you're past 30.

I guess it is indeed a matter of personal taste - I prefer the 'no makeup' look and always have (I do have quite dewy skin that needs little coverage). And I loathe bright lipstick, so have never worn it.

I do also think - but this is a separate point - that bright red lipstick draws attention to lines round the mouth and lips. But if people feel good wearing it because they feel it reflects their individual personality, then they may well look more confident and happy I guess, which is in itself flattering.

I'm not keen on the term 'trying too hard' for someone who wears too much make-up and has their hair done. Does the opposite apply? Is someone who doesn't wear make-up and have their hair done 'not trying hard enough'?

I am all for dressing and wearing what the heck you want....but, there is a certain hair colour that is being used on older ladies that is just so unflattering.
It's a goldy/ blonde shade and I am seeing it more and more and it hasnt looked good on anyone I have seen.These ladies are almost always made and dressed up very well however this hair colour is what I deem try too hard.

dexter - agree it's a horrible phrase.

I think a lot of people think by not looking like they 'try too hard', they instead look 'effortlessly chic' but most woman don't, they look 'not making an effort' or 'given up'.

'Effortlessly chic' and 'natural beauty' are very hard to get right and take far more effort than 'over done' for the average woman to achieve.

Fair point dexter, but this work colleague just looked so overdone - makeup trowelled on, far too much fake tan, hair lacquered to within an inch of its life and her outfit - all my male colleagues had their eyes out on stilts because it left nothing to the imagination.

I sound like a jealous old bag don't I, but IMO she would have looked far more attractive if she had applied the less is more approach (except for her clothes )

It's very difficult to look like you've 'given up' if you attend to the basics such as perfectly tinted and shaped eyebrows, conditioned shiny hair, immaculate nails and so forth.

It really doesn't have to be all or nothing, just avoid gilding the lily

What Sofa said

Nah.

Having perfectly tinted and shaped eyebrows, conditioned shiny hair, immaculate nails etc. seems like quite a big effort to me, not basics ! Maybe I have let myself go and need to try harder.

My DM's friend is like this (she's 63). She must wear at least four layers of foundation plus powder, aunt Sally style blusher and bright pink lipstick. She dyes her hair darkest brown (naturally a brunette but this looks obviously dyed now) and wears it in a HUUUUGE Margaret Thatcher style. Lots of fake tan in summer too. She was very beautiful when she was young (think Sophia Loren) but is struggling to accept that the ultra glam look is no longer flattering.