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Style and beauty

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Original poster

Trying too hard?

63 replies

ilovethewinter · 06/12/2014 11:32

I'm 48, and realise that now I have to put a little more effort into looking good or at least presentable, both in time and the products I use.Recently I have noticed a trend in ladies of my more mature age maybe trying a little too hard. Am I alone in thinking this? you know, over dyed, coiffured hair, tons of make up and clothes and jewellery more suited to strictly(and this is while out shopping!) Maybe its me and I need to try even harder,but personally I think its a bit much.

OP posts:

Floisme · 06/12/2014 23:09

I don't know - I'm not keen on lots of make up but nor do I like it that the only look that seems to be acceptable for older women is this keep-it-well-groomed- but-whatever-you-do-don't-frighten-the-horses thing. I sometimes think good taste is greatly over rated

GeorginaWorsley · 07/12/2014 09:33

I said on a thread a few weeks ago about 'age appropriate ' dressing or what to wear in u our forties type thing that I strive for 'pared down elegance ' or something like it

Am not sure I achieve this but I agree with the less is more theory to certain extent....
For me it would be

Well applied and matched foundation, not too heavy and matt but not shiny either
Groomed and slightly darkened brows but no Scouse Brow
Neutral taupey eyeshadow with brown eyeliner to upper lid only as any on lower migrates down my oily skin
Couple of coats of waterproof mascara
Blusher not bronzer at this time of year
Rosy brown lip, probably Bobbi Brown.

I do have mix of highlights and lowlights and may veer slightly to the colour described by a pp above
My personal 'avoids' and I stress personal, are
Over long nails with nail art
Heavy eye makeup
big earrings
orange skin in winter
Leggings particularly worn as trousers with shorter tops
Sharon Osborne style hair

Apologies for epic post

CateBlanket · 07/12/2014 09:43

Women just can't win, can they?

Allbymyselfagain · 07/12/2014 10:11

I think the world would be a nicer place if we all stopped judging each other on our physical appearance! I prefer a full face of make up, manicured nails, a skirt and heels at all times. But I certainly wouldn't judge anyone else and i hope nobody judges me... The full face of mKe up is due to serious acne scarring and the skirts and heels are because I lost a lot of weight and now look good in those clothes.

StainlessSteelBegonia · 07/12/2014 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeyLuciani · 07/12/2014 10:40

I'm mid 40s and felt I had been heading into "less is more" territory where fashion is concerned. Then I saw that channel 4 documentary 'Fabulous Fashionistas" about older women who were still enjoying and embracing fashion. It changed my mind a bit... I want to be like these women when I'm old(er) :

www.channel4.com/programmes/fabulous-fashionistas

bitofanoddone · 07/12/2014 10:49

I have yet to see an HD brow that i didn't think look ridiculous but whose owner was convinced they look 10 years younger.

TheCowThatLaughs · 07/12/2014 10:50

Presumably with the HD brows that's not the case for 18 year olds though? It's just the fashion, looks odd to my eyes but I'm 20 years older.

bitofanoddone · 07/12/2014 10:52

No but i have noticed that when i am back in the UK that today's yoof is smothered in make-up. When they are at an age where they are so beautiful causes me some sadness.

Bunbaker · 07/12/2014 10:54

What is an HD brow?

bitofanoddone · 07/12/2014 10:59

You're right. Whenever I am back in the UK the yoof seem to be smothered in make up. Such a shame to put such a mask on at the time of life when nature is at its peak.

Anything too mask like or looks like a bit of 'work' has been done makes me smirk at the vanity but I love a glossy nail or party lashes cos I'm a hypocrite.

My very beautiful girlfriend (46) who has had botox, fillers and a boob job does look great but it doesn't look real. Many acquaintances have asked me if she has had work, because she has. It just makes her look too vain, which in turn is sad. Pride in your appearance and a bit of fun is fine. No need for taupe just yet but anything else looks like neurosis.

Floisme · 07/12/2014 11:11

I think 'less is more' looks great on some older women and I've been known to try it myself. I just don't like the way it's become universal advice for anyone over 45. It doesn't suit all older women because - guess what - we all look different.

CateBlanket · 07/12/2014 11:38

What exactly is an older woman?

bitofanoddone · 07/12/2014 12:07

An older woman to me is 60+. In 10 years time it will be 70+...

I like a bit of fun with clothes on everyone, it's the caked make up and cosmetic surgery that upsets me.

Floisme · 07/12/2014 12:41

An 'older woman' is what I would call myself or sometimes I say 'middle aged' instead. I'm 58. I prefer that to terms like 'mature' or 'of a certain age'. I'm getting older and I don't see any point in pretending otherwise.

CateBlanket · 07/12/2014 16:28

Well, you've been getting older since you were born, Floisme! At what age will you describe yourself as an old woman?

Floisme · 07/12/2014 16:43

I'm not sure as I haven't put a number on it but probably 70 so not that long to go. I used to describe myself as middle aged but that feels less and less right as I'm way past the mid point of my life. If you can think of another word that is'nt too sanitised I might use it! I see nothing wrong with these words in themselves. Getting older is a fact. It's when they're used as an insult - as they often are on these threads - or when age is irrelevant that it pisses me off.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 07/12/2014 17:32

Nah, why should older women have to be subtle ? Maybe getting dolled up makes them feel good. I live up North, and probably more women in their 50 s where I live have a big coiff of expensively coloured hair, bling nails, lots of gold jewellery, and high heels. They don't feel like disappearing into the scenery, and why should they?
I sat next to a women in her late 70 s on the bus the other day, and admired her dipped in glitter effect manicure.
She said she always like a bit of sparkle, and her great granddaughters think she is ace.

polyhymnia · 07/12/2014 18:15

Yes, agree each to their own and fine if women want to dress like that.

But that doesn't mean that those of us who prefer a more subtle approach have necessarily 'given up' or want to 'fade into the furniture'.

We just prefer a look which we feel brings out the best in us in a more modern or, perhaps, boho, way than helmet blow dries and lots of gold jewellery.

We may well also have expensively coloured hair, but for subtler or more modern effect, and may also have painted nails, but in taupe, grey, dark green or muted colours.

Just a matter of choice.

Bowchickawowow · 07/12/2014 18:25

It can be just as much effort, if not more so, to achieve the subtle effect, so the trying too hard thing is a bit of a misnomer - you are still doing as much work, for a different effect!
I think you should dress and style yourself in whichever way makes you feel happy and confident, whatever age you are.

Floisme · 07/12/2014 18:40

I think 'trying too hard' is often used as a put-down. I didn't think the op intended it that way so I let it go but I've seen people use it on Style & Beauty in a very patronising way. Pisses me right off.

superstarheartbreaker · 07/12/2014 19:16

I think this attitude is very sexist. I was reading a horribly sexist article that was slagging Madonna off today saying she is too old to flaunt it. Tbh she looks amazing ... Better than I do at 36 and if she wants to wear leather whilst flashing her boobs that is entirely up to her.

Bunbaker · 07/12/2014 19:20

I don't like over-groomed looking men either superstar. There is something about a man who takes too much interest in his appearance that I find very off putting - like he loves himself too much.

CateBlanket · 07/12/2014 19:34

better than I do at 36 and if she wants to wear leather whilst flashing her boobs that is entirely up to her

Not really, she demeans all woman by posing for those photographs, regardless of her age.

Eliza22 · 07/12/2014 19:58

God, do men pull each other apart like this? Women can be awful.

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