Crepeys say Bah Humbug, (it's not Christmas yet)

[beachyhead]

Here we go

Oh BD, it sounds awful....

Suspect there is a lot of that Molly .dd never wanted anything like that, - we could have done with reinforcements sometimes when she was at her most hormonal!

I am in bed with a cup of tea. Beat that, crepesters!

We need an army, never mind a tutor

Oh, BD, I hope you are ok. The work situation sounds really bad. Are you sure that you shouldn't just get signed off and leave them to stem and sort it out themselves.

I would think different salad leaves probably come in the Advanced Vegetable Recognition class. :) Ginger and garlic, hmmm. :)

Maybe my uncompromising stance in trying to force dd to stand up for herself and find her own solutions is bearing fruit: a year ago, she was still pretty much refusing to talk to teachers; she has now managed to talk to both her tutors and the HoY about the unfortunate light-fingered ex-friend situation, as there have been Further Developments which were driving dd a bit madder than usual. Dd is actually dealing with stuff, and difficult stuff at that! Never thought I would see the day.

Blimey, Stropps, that is tough stuff, she's showing such maturity - and she must really trust those adults. I hope you are swelling with pride.

BTM . Have they made a reality tv show in which the Marines arrive to sort out teenager bedroom/homework/parent rage?

BD, so sorry you're having such shit at work.

I would also like to teach DD1 to stand up for herself and, more importantly, ask for help when she doesn't understand it. This has been the thread all through her school life, and is getting no better.

BD, I think you should think seriously about being signed off. I am glad for a plan B but no work is worth jeopardising your health for. Can you tidy a few bits up then take some time off? I think we can find a surge of energy limp through to a close deadline then collapse in a heap. Sorry you are being put through this. Thinking of you

Sorry, what I meant was that sometimes I can summon the wherewithal to get through eg to an exam but then need to down tools urgently and for some time.

Stropps and Herbs, you're both getting into your stride. You're on course for a strong finish to your first terms and a well-deserved break. Next term won't be anything like as terrifying, even if it's just as tough

DD had a tutor to help her to overcome her dyslexia. He also taught me how to help her, which wasn't intuitive for me as I learn differently from DD. The school offered nothing and she didn't meet thresholds for statementing. As Lalsy says, he was also another important adult in her life at a critical time. She said 'he really gets me'. He came every week throughout DH's awful illnesses and some weeks he just helped her with homework.

BD, sounds awful. Do you have a union rep/peer group/mentor/trusted colleague who can help you to consider your options? For example, should you be thinking about grievance procedures etc? Hard to think it through without support when you're feeling overwhelmed. Hope Plan B is something that meets your needs.

Off to pick up nephew and his washing . Concert today - should be fun. Cold clearing up, sun shining.

So true Monty - about no job being wort jeopardising health for. BD, I hope you can have a restful weekend.

MrsS, god knows how. So many adults won't ask for help. I once found ds, aged about eight, talking to the shop floor manager in John Lewis about the best value packets of little plastic toys. I had lost him taken my eye off him for a moment and he had trotted off to ask about them. The guy took his enquiries very seriously . dd would never do that, never asked for help in primary, did in secondary, who knows at university? I used to hate it but now force myself to about trivial things, in museums or whatever, to keep my hand in.

Agree about no job worth jeopardising health for, having been through that in my previous job. Put yourself first, BD.

Love the story about your DS, Lalsy!
I have no idea if my two ask for help or not. DD certainly seems to mostly get help where it's needed, so maybe she does They certainly seem to ask for the odd bit of help at home with homework at times!

Have been down to Argos to collect my Black Friday purchase - half-price wifi printer and £10 - £15 cheaper than competitors!

I refrained from Black Friday. Still averting brain from Christmas...

Letter from school invites DD2 to join school 'Lyrical Dance' group. Cannot work out if this is because she is elephantine (it's for kids who could 'really benefit from extra help') or good at it (is an 'enrichment activity'). She has been doing Saturday classes at the Laban for years (she's there now) so I shall go dotingly with the latter explanation

BD, agree you need an emergency exit, dammit!

BD, seriously, you'd be surprised at how your office could cope if you just took a couple of weeks out to take care of yourself. If they had to.

BTM - well done on the cut price printer. I saw a big pile of half price food mixers and coffee machines in Sainsbury yesterday, but of course I don't need either. I did bag myself a rather nice Gok party dress for this week's Christmas do, though.

By the way, 13 or 14 GCSEs??! That makes me quite thankful that the DCs' school only allows a maximum of 9.5 . Their opinion is that they would rather pupils focused on a small number and got better results. It makes the options very simple, though, because there aren't very many! I've just realised that DD1 will have to choose hers soon.

And I have thought about a tutor, but DS's problem isn't confidence - quite the opposite - he considers himself a genius who doesn't really need to put any effort in, and can produce an excellent exam paper just by reading through a few notes the day before - which he simply cannot. He seems constantly bemused by his poor results, and hasn't made the link between that and his total lack of focus and effort. There is a Maths Clinic every Tuesday after school, basically free tutoring, but has he ever made the effort to go?

Herbs, so pleased you had such a great lesson - it must make you feel a million dollars.

Bathroom update..... we have a fully repaired wall, a beautiful new floor, and have picked up replacements for the ridiculously oversized tap and the wobbly loo. We have spent the last few days stepping over some 2.4m wall panels, which have to be stored flat, so are in the middle of the living room floor. The plasterer is standing by for Tuesday. I randomly bumped into the plumber outside the bathroom shop; he was so lovely about all the delays (caused by us) and promised to get it finished for us by Christmas, that I actually gave him a hug.

Oh, and I hope you're impressed, Crepeys, I worked from home yesterday, and didn't go on MN once all day. Actually, I was so busy I barely stopped. I have been sending out missives about the two day conference and the Christmas party, both of which are happening next week, and dealing with the deluge of moans and complaints about arrangements which inevitably ensue. It's not enough that I've sorted out transport, accommodation, food and parking for 60 people coming from all over the country, but apparently I should have arranged their arse-wiping too.

Oh, definitely the latter, MI. DS is in this year's nativity, as are all the children in year 1, but he doesn't have a speaking part! My inner tiger mom was enraged, but then I realised it was so he doesn't show all the less talented children up. Yes, that's it. He'd better be something pretty major, though, like First King, rather than 12th Donkey From The Left, or I'll be writing to the chair of governors.

In other news, every year about this time I get a cold, and every time I get a cold I lose my voice. It has happened again, with superb timing - I'm out tonight for my birthday drinks gathering, and will be entirely mute.

CV that's great news about your bathroom! And at your DS thinking he is a genius bemused by his results!
TBF, the school are letting them drop subjects, but having studied them for 2-3 years, DD is not keen as it just means she has wasted her time so far

MI, your DD is hardly elephantine! She is very petite, IIRC!
Herbs, sorry to hear you have lost your voice in time for your birthday.

Should be trying to get my shit together for my journey up north...

Herbs, have a splendid time and use lots of expansive hand gestures. :)

CV, congrats on the impressive self-discipline and that's v good news about the bathroom.

Re: tutoring - I can absolutely see that it sometimes is right and necessary. And, as with everything, it is a bit sad that sometimes those who might really benefit from it and need it (and that's def NOT my dcs as things currently stand), can't always access that service because of lack of funds - for instance those like Auriga's dd who have dyslexia but don't meet the criteria for in-school 1-to-1 specialist support. I have this silly idea that we should have an educational system that provides the support to everyone that needs it, not just those that can afford to buy it in.
I'm back to not feeling guilty about not affording tutoring for dd because she doesn't need it and if I had got her a tutor at any stage it would just have encouraged her weedy helplessness. As it is, she has found her own solutions to issues: i.e.: teaching herself GCSE physics with videos from that site I linked to; learning to ask the maths teacher for clarification; taking advantage of the after-school help offered by the chemistry teachers. So I'm pleased I didn't dump ds's piano lessons in favour of getting her a physics tutor, which she was trying to imply I should do this time last year.

As for the dealing with the difficult 'friend' issue that is currently going on, she did a lot of screeching, door-slamming, weeping, wailing etc etc to try and get me to get involved. And I have expressed my sympathy and offered advice, but left it up to her to deal with it. She has now channelled her rage in what appears to be a useful manner. It remains to be seen how exactly things will develop. But whatever happens, I think she has learnt quite a lot.

MI and Herbs Of course your DC are brilliant, how could any of our DC not be exceptional when they have parents like us?

I too was appalled to hear about 14 GCSEs - my DC's school only allowed 10 maximum.

BD, so sorry to hear about your work travails - your health must come first.

We had a great time in York yesterday - and what lovely people live there. I managed a few Christmas presents, bought myself a jumper from Gap and some navy blue tights which I have been looking for for ages.

I think DGS1 is coming for a sleepover today so we have been rummaging through the cupboards in the DC's rooms for games to play. Frustratingly enough we found Frustration but not all the bits. We also found 5 (five, v) Barbies plus assorted clothes, and numerous Star Wars figures which we had no idea were there. There is now a pile of posters on the floor waiting for DD to inspect, discard or take home.

NU - wish I could g shopping in York- I love it - it's one of the towns I would live in if I could. I'm encouraging DD2 to apply there for uni.

This morning was the school fete - I am pleased that say the gingerbread houses were selling really fast and even the outrageously priced castle at 85 Euros went.

DD2 meanwhile had her mock French exam which she says went badly.

at EUR 85 castle. Good that all your houses were selling, though, Hatty.
Apols for banging on about tutoring. It's a topic that is very present for me just now in relation to my course and it makes me v hot under the collar.
I'll froth more quietly from now on.

Me to re shopping in York! Something to look forward to when I retire!
85€
Hope your DD is wrong, Hatty.

I am on the train which is travelling at sn alarming speed! Apparently DD is in bed (DH and DS have gone off to a match) She is either asleep or still angry for not letting her stay off yesterday!

Froth away Stropps! You are quite right - the right level of support should be available to all children/teens who need it. Sadly that would require huge investment from the powers that be...

In fairness, the gingerbread houses are very labour intensive - however, even though I was involved in making them, I still find them very expensive. The small ones go for 35 euros.