Forever Autumn Forever Crepey

[cremolafoam]

The summer sun is fading as the year grows old,
and darker days are drawing near,
the winter winds will be much colder,
now you're not here.
I watch the birds fly south across the autumn sky
and one by one they disappear
I wish that I was flying with them,
now you're not here

Stropps, nightmare sounds horrid but highly understandable given that you are embarking in a new course and moving things along at home too. I find I have lots of panicky dreams when I am stressed.
Yes Red Bull not only tastes vile but cintains shitloads of caffeine

Herbs, I sadly know a few tales of HTs being bullied. And of HTs bullying

How frustrating MrsS.

I am staaarving after my visits...

Oh dear, MrsS, that sounds like a day of No Fun At All. Hope you have something nice planned for this evening.

I want a beetle-browed "Glowers" emoticon. Monty, I just need to keep on keeping on with learning to prioritise and not getting totally bogged-down by trying to do everything for everybody all the time. It's a bit of a steep learning curve for me and the family at the moment as am starting new course next week and have to make sure that various things are in place before then. I'm also very anxious about my ability to keep up physically with my new schedule of being away one night a week and do the necessary studying and still earn enough money to live AND make sure everyone is fed, clean etc etc. I realise lots of people find all this stuff completely easy, but I don't and am prone to over-stretching myself in a panic to do everything perfectly and then get ill. I don't want that to happen this time.

Herbs, sounds like ds is well out of there, but also as though the Head is having a hard time. Agree about probs of policing screen time. It gets very wearing and the dcs get very shifty about it.

Stropps, no, that IS a lot to handle: a course and a job together. Don't tell yourself other people find it easy - the only ones who do are the sort of blokes people who leave all the household stuff to their wives other people. Can you get DH stepping up to the domestic plate?

Hattie - at Gollum-like teen - very apt description. DS is similar, but in his defence he does a shed-load (or, in teen-speak, a "butt-load") of sport. Not a lot of reading, though.

Happy Birthday, Monty! I'm most disquieted to hear that I'm no longer the youngest crepey.

Strops - your subconscious is clearly having a field day with all the change-related anxiety. Deep breaths, and sit back every now and then. Do some serious delegating - your offspring are more than old enough to take care of a few things at home.

Herbs - very interesting about your conversation with the Head. It sounds like quite the poisoned chalice she's been given. I hope she can pull the school around, but, hey, you don't have to stick around until she does.

Stropps, MI is right. And CV.

Thirded, Stropps. Let a few things go, and see what happens. Chances are, it will be fine. Not everything is your responsibility - a lesson I am trying to learn myself.

DS's visit to new school not an unbridled success. Wouldn't speak, kept hiding behind me, kept saying 'I don't want to go to this school' and was so mute one of the admin staff said to me sotto voce 'does he speak yet?'

I got a list of after-school clubs, and said brightly 'Oooh, a singing club. Would you like to do that?'

'No. As I'm not going to go to this school. I didn't like the sticky noticeboard.'

Even an Oreo ice cream hasn't worn him down.

God Herbs how frustrating. With DD I tried gentle persuasion and in the end just told her she was changing! She was not pleased but is really happy now. You need the condescending "sometimes Mummy knows best" line.

Herbs - I didn't like the sticky noticeboard!
How ironic that the staff thought he doesn't speak - little do they know!
Wishing you strength - I agree that you DO know best and he will just have to suck it up. And then he will love it!

That's going to be my approach, Hattie.

I'm going to keep on with the 'but what about the Gruffalo in the library?' And 'did you see Erin's in your class?' line until the weekend, then it's going to be 'We think you'd be happier there, and it's our job to make you happy. You'll love it eventually. We know best. Shut up. Here's Minecraft.'

I have to take him in again next week to see the nurse so they can construct a care plan before he starts. That's going to take another bribe.

Yep, massive sympathies: bribery and 'listen, kid, this is the way it's going to be' are the only approaches, really, innit.

In other news, my new DMs are very lovely; I wore them to pick up DD2's new on-loan sax from the local authority music service. And on the way home I found a rather nice purply silk-velvet long unstructured jacket (had shoulder pads but I've taken them out) for four quid in one of the charity shops.

The DDs always do brilliantly out of charity shops - DD2 has two dresses from the posh Oxfam on Drury Lane. I have some lovely American copper jelly moulds that will go on the wall in my kitchen when (ha!) it has been done.

I have spent the entire day at the hospital (two of them) in various clinics and have to have another dodgy mole removed. Am going to have tea and cake now.

MrsS I guess at least they picked it up. Sorry you had such a bad day.

Oh gawd, MrsS, when?

I am ploughing through amends to copy from CDiff. Yes, I DO have a picture of this bloke I interviewed, what with being a professional journalist. And you may disagree with the way I've referred to WW1, but it's the way the Royal British Legion does it (I did make this last point, politely...)

MrsS, sorry you have to do that again, Not Fun. Hope you have got DH up to speed, iirc he needed it.

Stropps, so sorry to hear about the nightmare. Sounds truly horrible. BTM and MI and others are giving you the best advice, as I bet you know. It would be a lot for Superwoman to have on her plate. But you are not in sole charge of keeping ppl clean and fed (for example). Even when you're there, let alone when you're working away.

Montserrat, many returning happies. Will look for you on FB.

MI, you could also run classes on getting the best out of your charity shop finds.

MI could do cooking lesson followed by charity shop tour. Then drinks of course.

Breaking news from the Indyref: dh has changed his imaginary vote from No to Yes, saying that having given it a great deal of thought, he reckons devolution is a good thing. Well, as mentioned, he has no vote, because he's been living away 40 years, but one wonders how many other people will decide devolution is a good thing after all. Interesting times.

MrsS, sorry to hear you are going to get chopped about again. Good that they are keeping on top of things, but it must be very taxing to know you have to keep going back every three months.

Thanks for the support, my crepey friends. I have had words with both dh and dd about them being more proactive around the house. Dh huffed and puffed and said that he spent 2 days painting a fence last week "which is housework, isn't it?", thus spectacularly missing the point. He thinks if he does one or two of these one-off jobs, his work is done. I have made the point that he and dd between them need to look after the animals (and ds) and do the basic household jobs and it's no good them doing nothing and then each blaming the other - which is what mainly happens at the moment. Every time I have been to a crepey meetup, I have to ring them in the evening to get them to shut the chickens in and make sure the dog is walked, front door locked etc. I kid you not. Also, I have to ring again in the morning to get them to let the chickens out and take the dog for a walk etc. All other jobs may well be left without consequences, but these can't. Sadly, I know any jobs that can be left without major consequences will be left for me to do when I get home e.g. put the bins out on Tues evening. Have primed ds that he needs to remember his PE kit on Tuesday mornings, as no one will be here to remind him and if he forgets he will get detention. Have arranged lifts for ds for his after-school activities on Mon and Tues, but dh needs to remember to get the bus to get him from Youth Theatre on Tues. Am fairly sure there will be at least once instance of dh totally forgetting to do this... Ho hum.

Also, I probably shouldn't have tried once again to reduce my dose of anti-anxiety medication last week. I reduced it by about a fifth over 5 days, but then things started to go pear-shaped and I just gave up. I figure that now is maybe not the time. There appears to be a general feeling among the medical and counselling personnel that I have dealt with lately that I need the stuff, so perhaps I have to accept that. Except I don't like that idea very much.

More upbeat news report: dd has signed up for the AQA Bacc and is volunteering on a mentoring programme for Y10s, volunteering on a science teaching scheme where the 6th form go into the first and middle schools and also going to various lectures that are on offer in study periods and are not necessarily to do with her A subjects.
Crepeys who have been around for a while will know just how much of a huge turnaround this is. This is the girl who spent most of Y10 doing nothing except lie in her room, saying she had no friends, no life and no future. etc etc (by "etc", I mean a plethora of rather grim things). Not saying it's all going to be super-duper and fine from now on, but my god, it's good to hear her saying "I know what I have to do to get where I want to go". (Shame this doesn't involve doing any hoovering without moaning about it, though)

Stropps, that is fantastic, it s such a huge turnaround in attitude, which in turn makes everything easier, including inevitable hiccups.

Umm, this is going to sound a bit like one of those practical tips from Viz but I stuck a bit of paper on the back of the front door this summer, with a leaving the house checklist. It seemed to help. Mind you, I bore myself droning on about locking windows and oysters, so not surprising my family switch off. Sympathies on the worries, once the course and the new routine is in place I think you will feel less anxious - buildup and uncertainty about how things will work day to day is horrid.

Ho yes Stropps, men and one off jobs. Like a bit of painting. Repairing the sash window and wanting a medal for doing it, cleaning the toilet. I stop doing any housework at all periodically to see if anyone will do some. DH will generally hoover when you can't see the carpet for cat fur. Oh and our hall is full of junk that "will be taken to the tip this weekend". It's been there for about six weeks. Probably a lot longer.

Studying and working is bloody hard, Stropps - agree with MI, be quite assertive with your DH and tell him he will need to cook/clean.

I have nothing to do at work and no-one seems to be interested in giving me anything to do either. Which actually rather suits me this week.

MI - end of October for the mole removal. They are supposed to do it within two weeks under the NHS, I think. Ended up going to Tommy's today to get my "photographs" done, as Guy's had no female photographer on duty. I had no objection to a man doing it (as it was, err, my finger they were photographing) but was told he couldn't, as "rules is rules." I could "see if she was in tomorrow" or go to Tommy's, so I went there. The female photographer there was rushed off her feet - as she said, she was allowed to photograph men, women and children, but the men could only photograph the men. She said rather sourly (and I don't blame her) that they could have found a chaperone for me from either a nearby ward or the nursing bank, but that didn't appear to have occurred to them.

Stropps, that's amazing, really, isn't it

Monty, hope the day has gone well (and Rosebag's too, fnar nudge snigger). I myself nearly fainted with longing during the GBBO eclairs segment. I don't get out much.

Forgive me if this is out of order, MrsS, but you've never struck me as the type to need a chaperone

Perhaps it was for his safety, MI?

I have chocolate. Because the tonic is flat.

I'm regretting promising to stay on the wagon until Friday. This school business is frazzling.

That is extraordinarily good news re DD, stropps. What a turnaround. And not entirely unrelated to your efforts!