Help save me from horned hoofdom by Saturday

[FrannyandZooey]

Just bought strappy sandals

Feet are skanky, what is the miracle product or the secret regime I should be following, please? Plus, what colour toenails? Will either be wearing cream and black dress, or chocolate brown and black dress with black trousers

Oh-kayyyy

I know you are joking but do I really have to do the stuff in your socks thing? Because I find the thought of it really creepy

You can get something called a Chiropodist's stone at the chemist. It's black and rectangular in a plastic box. Normally with the pumice stones. Works wonders. Then use oh blimey.... what's that Aussie foot stuff called again............? Ah yes... Flexitol. Trust me. Your feet will look amazing!

French polish on toes! Looks wonderful! Makes your toes look pretty.

Go to the scholl shop, give them £28 and they will come out softer than your DS's

Alternatively, get a callous knife ( bit like a scalpel) from boots, one of their cheese grater rough skin remover implements and set to. follow up with Flexitol or Benefit AHA foot cream.

Nails should be red.

Yes I like a French polish but am too cack handed to do it on myself

can't afford pedicure at this moment in time

Ok, what does the flexitol do? Is this achievable by Saturday?

Red I am not sure. The strappy sandals are black and even have bits of shiny stuff on them and I do wonder if red nails is just going a bit too far

The black stone and flexitol make your feet look amazing and it can be achieved by Saturday. Promise! The black stone is a miracle worker! Someone asked me if I'd been to a professional a few days after I'd moaned about my feet and she saw them after aforementioned date with black stone and flexitol!

Go for it........

Califanjo........... you clearly don't have my pedicurist! My toes look fab with french polish............. Must just be my natural beauty seeping down to my toes........

Mars you are compellingly convincing. How much will the two things set me back pls?

How about silver? or dark pink?

Flexitol take 2 weeks for perfection but is quite good in 2 days. If skint I recommend the cheesegrater thing and any cream with urea in it morning and night.

Stone is about £4 (prob less) can't remember as I bought several so maybe only £2. Flexitol about £7.99 I think.

Of course I'm compelling darling.... look into my eyes.... not around the eyes.... into the eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{shock] eight quid what does it do? Are you sure? And why do I need urea????

Silver always seems to look dodgy on me. Dark pink hmmm

Oh bother, this is harder than I thought

Trust me. Best £8 you'll ever spend. Save you a fortune. Costs £30 to see a chiropodist you know!

Look into my eyes..... not around the eyes..... into the eyes...............

Have just bought economy shoes

they will not be economy if I have to spend £12 on foot accoutrements and probably new nail varnish at this rate

However I will follow orders but I intend to have a ruddy good moan about it first

And yet your feet will be gorgeous for ages and ages and you'll wonder how you ever managed before.

Now... F&Z.... DS1 complaining that I'm hogging the pc so that he can't get his homework done. So... be a good girl. Pop out to the chemist, get the stuff, do your feet and post how amazing wise MarsLady is!

what nail varnish do you have already?

I think small flexitol is about £4.99.

I will get some tomorrow

I have brown, fuchsia pink, cherry red, loads of shades of blue, lilac, silver, bronzey gold which looks totally dire, erm....clear, violet

I don't think any of them are right

i think fuschia or cherry could look great.

urea is a chem compound found in wee (not quite sure of my science). it is well know as skin softener, apparently in days of yore housemaids used to soak their hands in bedpans to soften and soothe the skin. urea was the active ingredient.....so there may be a free alternative to flexitol....but haven't tested this out meself