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Do you buy your partner's clothes?

103 replies

Cuteypatootey · 18/07/2014 01:20

Would love to buy a few things for my partner but not sure how he'll respond. Does anyone buy their partner's clothes and have any pearls of wisdom about how to go about it? It's not that he has bad taste, it's good but he just doesn't get round to it.

OP posts:
RawCoconutMacaroon · 18/07/2014 07:54

DH enjoys clothes shopping and has quite expensive tastes... Almost always satisfied by bargain discounters like tkmaxx.
But I know his tastes, size and what suits him so I'll buy things for him when I see a good offer... He'd do the same for me, although more with "stuff" rather than clothes.

Obviously make sure you keep receipts so things can be returned, but unlike some posters I don't see what's wrong with a bit partnership/teamwork within a marriage (DH, DP, whatever) Smile.

Bunbaker · 18/07/2014 07:54

Some of you are so lucky to have partners who are a standard size.

GiniCooper · 18/07/2014 07:58

DH was quite happy for me to buy his clothes as like a previous poster he had very little time off and hates shopping.
Since we've had more children I don't have the inclination to shop so he buys his own almost exclusively online now.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 18/07/2014 07:58

not really but he does Joke that he daren't buy anything if he is on his own as he likes to have me there to 'see if he likes it' Grin

RawCoconutMacaroon · 18/07/2014 07:59

Well I wouldn't say standard exactly, long back and arms, big cyclist thighs... But I can usually judge by looking if something is cut to fit him as many an hour is spent shopping together (gasp!), I guess it's almost a hobby!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 18/07/2014 08:00

If tall and skinny is standard, then yep - dp is easy!

MrsCampbellBlack · 18/07/2014 08:01

Dh is tall and also has cyclist legs. I find j crew works well on him as they do tall ranges but also slim cuts.

Also totally agree with Raw's comments about partnership.

starfishmummy · 18/07/2014 08:03

The only thing Dh buys for himself is his suits for work. The rest I get.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 18/07/2014 08:07

He's not a child and I'm not his mother, but that doesn't change the fact that if his mother bought him clothes he probably wouldn't have any.

I just took over where she left off.

He just isn't interested. Despite living on his own for five years I don't think his university wardrobe contained anything his mother hadn't dragged in to buy in the holidays.

He's never improved. He likes shopping he'll happily wander round women's cloth shops and children's cloth shops, toy shops and Hobby Craft.

It's just when you enter the men's dept. He tries to run off or decide he's hungry.

He really isn't interested. As long as I don't buy him jeans, which he has never ever worn even as a teen, he's happy not to have anything to do with the process of choosing his own clothes.

GertrudeBell · 18/07/2014 08:08

I am amazed at all these men who can't/won't shop for themselves! And at so many MNers passively accepting that!

DH is a shopaholic, buys far more than me, and has excellent taste. He didn't used to be like that but it has come from practice.

GertrudeBell · 18/07/2014 08:09

Re the partnership thing:

How many men buy their DW/DP's clothing?

Grin
Bunbaker · 18/07/2014 08:11

"I am amazed at all these men who can't/won't shop for themselves! And at so many MNers passively accepting that!"

How do you propose that you get a man to go shopping if he hates it? OH hates shopping, but I won't shop for him. He just waits until his clothes are in tatters before he will buy any new ones. And then I have to drag him out.

MrsCampbellBlack · 18/07/2014 08:11

Its not passively accepting it, I enjoy it and its not exactly an onerous task is it?

MarshaBrady · 18/07/2014 08:12

I'm not interested, I find men's clothing dull. He chooses good stuff tg.

I shop mostly online anyway so I'm not in shops to find something.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 18/07/2014 08:18

If the choice is between passively accepting that he will wear clothes that are falling to pieces, or passively accepting buying him the odd thing to replace things falling to pieces, I know which I prefer. He doesn't care - I do.

gamerchick · 18/07/2014 08:19

When you have a man who just doesn't give a toss, they're easy to buy for. All you need is their size.

It's worth it not to see that favourite top that has faded into nothing, lost its shape and is starting to get holes yet again believe me.

BelindaAllWorkedOut · 18/07/2014 08:22

Yes, he never shops and hates it. I buy, he chooses and I return what he doesn't like. The only thing he buys himself are his shoes and suits.

treaclesoda · 18/07/2014 08:27

no, I don't. I was going to say that he doesn't care about clothes but that's actually not true. He isn't interested in fashion but he is very fussy about clothes, if that makes sense.

Fortunately I really like the way he dresses, I think he looks stylish but age appropriate Grin He would hate me buying him stuff because I would get it wrong - it would be almost right but just ever so slightly the wrong shade of green/grey/navy.

HecatePropylaea · 18/07/2014 08:28

I buy all my husband's clothes. Because I like doing it and he hates shopping.
I also do all the cooking.
And all the ironing for everyone.
And I haven't picked up a vaccum cleaner in about a decade and I never ever clean either the bathrooms or the kitchen.
I don't look at it as being his mum by buying the clothes any more than I look at it as him being my dad (or mum??) because he always hoovers and cleans kitchen and bathrooms.
I look at it as we each pick the jobs we hate the least and take care of them so that everything that a family needs to be done - is done.
It's more of a reciprocal arrangement than a babying one Grin and it all works out fairly in the end. We each do about the same amount of stuff, which is what matters, imo. It really isn't important that he doesn't buy socks and I don't clean the loo.

MaryWestmacott · 18/07/2014 08:28

Bunbaker - DH hates shopping for clothes. He has a choice, he does something he finds a chore, or he goes without nice clothes. I haven't offered a "Mary will do it for you" option, so he doesn't pick that one.

Instead, he shops from a limited number of clothes shops he can reach in his lunch hour or online.

His wardrobe consists of suits (bought probably once every 2 years), shirts (ordered on line 3-4 times a year), polo shirts, jeans and chinos from the 3-4 shops near his office he walks past, hoodies and cycling related t-shirts thrown into the on-line order basket while ordering bike bits. (He's a cycle nut, sadly). Pants and socks are all from M&S purchased in his lunch hour while buying a sandwich.

I refuse to make it my job, so he's just fended for himself, in the same why he managed fine when he lived alone before we moved in together.

for those who took over where their DP's mum left off, what do you think would have happened if you didn't? Do you really think they would just have gone round in rags, or have realised at some point if they wanted presentable work clothes, they'd have to buy them? I'm sure DH would be happy for me to take over, but by never doing it, he's just had to sort it himself.

Rather like I'm sure DH would be happy to never have to iron a shirt, cut the grass, do any housework, but i've never let "I don't like doing it, so I won't and Mary will do it instead" be an option.

OP - it's a slippery slope, he's an adult, dressing himself is part of that. Don't volunteer to take over. You might not mind now, but if it pisses you off in a few years time, it'll be bloody hard to step away. (the harder bit, of course is not being annoyed if his choices of clothing aren't as stylish as you'd pick)

Lottapianos · 18/07/2014 08:28

No I don't choose my DP's clothes but I know lots of women who do. I find it bizarre. My sister has done this with her last 2 boyfriends - bought them whole outfits that she thought they 'should' have been wearing. No idea how they felt about it but I think that was beside the point as far as she was concerned.

Agree with the 'he is not a child' comments. People who do shop for their DP - does it make you feel indispensable and like he can't manage without you? Genuine question

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 18/07/2014 08:30

V good post, Hecate - oh wise one.

mousmous · 18/07/2014 08:33

very rarely
sometimes I will get him new pj's as he doesn't like to go into the kinds of shops that sell the naice ones

MaryWestmacott · 18/07/2014 08:35

OP - why do you want to buy his clothes? Does he not dress the way you'd like? Do you enjoy shopping and want an excuse to do more shopping?

He's not a doll to be dressed up.

How would you feel if he told you he didn't like the way you dressed? Which is what you're basically doing.

HecatePropylaea · 18/07/2014 08:35

hahaha Remus. I'll hang on to that through the arse kicking coming my way Wink

Lotta, I can't answer for anyone else, but just for me, no. It doesn't. I know very well I am not. Just as if he wasn't here, I'd clean the kitchen myself. But while we are both here - why not divvy up the jobs so we each get the ones we hate the least?