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Original poster

What do you wear for the school run? Do you care?!!!

66 replies

nearlythree · 04/09/2006 21:31

Dd1 is starting school this week and I know that most of the mums really make an effort over their appearance for the school gates. Some are yummy mummies, some look mor elike on-the-game mummies, IYSWIM. One mum, who looks gorgeous, gets up at 6 every day so she can get herself ready.

I've been pg for so much of the past 4 yrs I've had to kit myself out with a whole new wardrobe. But I know there will be days when I don't get time/ can't be bothered esp. with make-up. But the school gates are very cliquey and I don't want dd1 to feel her mum doesn't measure up.

What do you do about this?

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 04/09/2006 21:36

I would not want my 4 yo dd to get the message that it is ok to judge people on their appearances, tbh. I would also be steering well clear of the women who look down on others who are not as perfectly groomed.

Personally I nearly always try to look decent because it makes me feel good about myself, but if I didn't feel like it, I wouldn't force myself to dress up for a bunch of women at the school gates.

How do you know this woman gets up at 6, btw? Do people really have conversations about this?

TitianRed · 04/09/2006 21:37

I've never heard of anything so ridiculous! Sounds like these women have too much time on their hands to me.

fattiemumma · 04/09/2006 21:39

if im out of my pyjama's its a goooood day!

Original poster
nearlythree · 04/09/2006 21:39

Franny, I so agree with you, I hate the way little girls are encouraged to think about how they look. But dd1 has already picked up on this message - she tells me when I look 'pretty' i.e. have put on a skirt! And I don't want her to be bullied because of me .

I totally agree about looking reasonable for yourself, too, I'm so fed up with maternity wear and not plucking my eyebrows, it'll be good to get back to it in a way.

I'm afraid I listen to (very reliable) gossip.

OP posts:
Blondilocks · 04/09/2006 21:43

I only do the school run on Friday afternoons & that tends to be in whatever I flung on to wear to work as it's literally a case of parking the car at home & rushing round to the school!

It doesn't seem to be a big issue at LOs school. Obviously there are some people who are obviously wearing expensive clothes or who have put absolutely no effort in whatsoever or who really shouldn't be wearing "that" but no-one seems to care too much.

I think the main thing is for you to feel happy with what you're wearing. I only buy clothes I feel happy with, so unless I end up at the school in my pajamas I'll be ok. (They are lovely but not really suitable outside wear!)

Twiglett · 04/09/2006 21:45

I don't give a toss what I look like .. who the hell is looking at me

I care how I react to other people, how pleasant I am, how interested I am in their lives and their children

but what I wear? get a life .. its the school run

chocybickie · 04/09/2006 21:45

it's a 2 mile walk there and back and there and back.
trainers, jeans and appropriate top for the weather.
i don't care if I'm not immaculate, my son is always smart and gets there on time.
most of the other parents have the same view as me and couldn't care less about how they dress.

Beetroot · 04/09/2006 21:45

If your child is bullied because you are wearing the wrong clothes, I would say you arein the wrong school!

FrannyandZooey · 04/09/2006 21:46

Hmm, nearlythree, I do know what you mean. Ds is 3 and gets upset if I don't wear the "pretty shoes" he likes (sparkly ones, or high heels )

But your dd's idea of what looks pretty on you is probably different to what this school gate crew would approve of. If I was you I would try passing on different messages to her - when you get ready in the morning, look in the mirror and make a positive comment about yourself - just something like "Well, I like these jeans, they're comfortable and I look good in them" or whatever. Daughters usually tend to hear us making critical remarks about ourselves and others, sadly.

I would also pass admiring comments on other women you know or see together, not just the ones who are a perfect shape or who are dressed in fashions approved by 4 year olds.

I hope this doesn't sound too personal, but if you are worried about this school gate stuff I would guess you have some problems with your own body image. See if you can make some changes and not pass this on to your dd.

Glassofwine · 04/09/2006 21:49

Most Mum's at our school wear variations of jeans/casual clothes. However there are differences ie. frumpy too short jeans vs trendy skinny jeans. boots or cool trainers vs flat unfashionable shoes. It doesn't make any difference who talks to who.

personally I like to make an effort and always wear some make up, but it only takes 2 mins, so I don't go for the whole 'face'.

today at DD's party I was described as glamourous - and am feeling quite chuffed, as there are many days when I just don't feel anything like it.

chocybickie · 04/09/2006 21:52

all that aside i think you are just anxious. your dd hasn't even started at school yet. do you really think your dd will care or that the other mums will?

trust me the other mum's don't talk to me because i wear trainers and fleeces to school. they don't talk to me because i can't be arsed talking to them. and that's just how i like it.

a cheery personality and conversations about potty training and cheese and wine parent evenings are more important than looking smart. if that's really what you want to talk about. i really, really don't.

hulababy · 04/09/2006 21:56

DD starts tomorrow. She will be all dressed smart in her uniform. I will be in jeans and top. I will brush my hair and I will probably have time to wipe a one step face base over my face and maybe some lipstick. That's it.

Mercy · 04/09/2006 22:02

I wear whatever is to hand tbh, obviously I don't care. And equally, I rarely notice what other people wear - unless it is something particularly outstanding.

There is a handful of mums at dd's school whose clothes I always check out; their styles are so diverse but equally stunning.

AmandaP · 04/09/2006 22:19

If I'm straight to the stables, I wear scruffy jodhpurs, an even more scruffy jacket and a pair of v. muddy wellies. If we're on bikes, I wear a scruffy pair of tracksuit bottoms and a scruffy sweatshirt. Get the general (scruffy) picture?!

What i've learnt over the past few years is who gives a damn? If people are going to judge me by the way I look, then frankly I don't want to know them.

Original poster
nearlythree · 04/09/2006 22:20

Very interesting, thank you.

It's been noticed by quite a few people how cliquey the mums at dd1's new school are, and we live in a small village so you can't get lost in the crowd. The same mums were at dd2's pre-school. I'm not over-anxious about it on my part as I really am not interested in making pointless small talk with them, but I am from dd1's pov - as I say we are a small community and I don't want her to feel excluded because of me.

As for my body image, I've had three kids in four yrs and had my third section 3 mo ago! I think my body is pretty amazing to do that! I'm actually quite chuffed that I'm the same size now as I was before my last pregnancy. I do need to lose a bit and tone up, but I'm still healing so can't do too much just yet!

Think it's more that with three so young and being pg for much of the time I've forgotten how to look reasonable.

OP posts:
milward · 04/09/2006 22:23

I also wear what's to hand - a good description Mercy!

What's important are my kids are on time, are organised and have not been rushing in the morning.

Thomcat · 04/09/2006 22:29

I think it's awful that anyone would be so concerned as to her appearance at the school gates

School is about the kids. amking sure they arrive safely, leave you happy.
It's possibly about formng a bit of a bond with another couple of mums so you have some support and someone to double check dates with etc. But worrying if your hair is properly styled, if your shoes match your eyeshadow, ohhhh I just don't do people like that. You don't have to turn up in a flithy pair of baggy track pants but new wardrobes and generally just showing off is patheticly sad.

coderoo · 04/09/2006 22:29

i like ot look nice at any time

nebthenoob · 04/09/2006 22:36

DD1 starts tomorrow - if I get her and the other two dressed and out the door in time for school I shall be very pleased. Maybe I should go to bed in jeans and a t-shirt to make things easier in the morning?

If LO comes home saying I don't look smart enough, I shall be sitting her down and explaining a few things to her....

Original poster
nearlythree · 04/09/2006 22:37

Hop eyou don't think I'm patheitically sad, Thomcat! My new wardrobe is because I only have maternity clothes!

OP posts:
Jimjams2 · 04/09/2006 22:39

I quite often wear pyjamas with a coat thrown on top and welly boots (ds1's bus picks him up outside the house, and although the escorts aren't allowed to take him from the front door, I;m not too ashamed to be in my pjs). Luckily ds1's bus pick up clashes with ds2's start time so dh takes ds2

Rhubarb · 04/09/2006 22:41

A black bin liner so that I don't stop the traffic with my extraordinary beauty. I don't want the other mums to feel jealous either. Trouble is, even black bin liners look gorgeous on me! [flicks back long hair and sighs deeply]

Original poster
nearlythree · 04/09/2006 22:41
Grin
OP posts:
MamaG · 04/09/2006 22:54

While I do try to look presentable, I often rush out with unbrushed hair...jeans, vest and nice flipflops have been my staple lately - really, as long as my teeth are clean, I'm happy

Thomcat · 04/09/2006 22:57

Nearly3 - No a new maternity wardrobe isn't pathetic or sad.
But you know what i mean, the matching eyeshadow and shoe brigade, just OTTness - not for me one little bit.

LOL at pjs and wellies jimjams.
I did it once with tartan pj bottoms and my usual day winer boots.
Was told how nice I looked!

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