The right bra/blouse

[Chickens123]

I have only ever worn sports bras and sweatshirts to cover up. But now I have to wear a blouse for a new job. I got measured for a new bra and I'm a 28 J. It disgusting, I feel so self conscious and ashamed at the way I look. This bra and blouse gives me a hideous cleavage that people keep staring at. I really want to do this new job but can't face looking like this. The blouse is even worse with a sports bra and I'm not able to wear my usual sweatshirt. Breast reduction is about £8000 and I don't want to go abroad for a cheap boob job opinion case it goes wrong. I know it sounds silly but I'm seriously considering not taking this job because of it. I know I'm. Lucky to have boobs and all that but I m really having trouble here with what I look like I never knew how gross I looked.

Oh dear, please don't think about not taking the job, I'm sure someone here can try to help.

OK, first things, where did you get fitted and which bra did you buy? What's the blouse like?

I'm sure you are NOT looking gross!

what's the blouse like? can you wear a cami underneath, to give you more coverage? And what bra did you get? A full cup/minimizer style might help.

I'm sure you look great - it sounds like you are really lacking in self confidence, and its going to be a difference in how you look between a sweatshirt/sports bra and a fitted blouse.

If you took the blouse with you to Bravissimo, they'd be able to help you find a bra that worked well with it.

Is it a uniform blouse? Any option to wear a scarf with it/

Had a breast reduction 18 months ago. Phenomenal surgeon at the top of his game, perfect job, £5k. Puts it a bit more within reach. Get the job and save towards getting it done. I've been there and it's hideous, so I understand.

Would a vest top under the blouse help?

I rarely wear a blouse without something underneath, as I can't stand gaping etc when I bend down.

Thanks for the advice. I feel so conscious. I e invested in a cami and will take the blouse to a bra fitting shop and see what they can do. What hurts most is people seem to think I've had a breast enlargement and I sense that they mean I want yo be noticed as a sexual object where really I'd rather disappear. My culture is strict catholic, don't show ANYTHING and cover your head at Mass. So big tits are a big no no! Maybe time to look more closely at breast reduction. X

The blouse is cream and buttons up to the top I'm not sure if we can wear a scarf or not

Which bra did you buy? When you say you're getting cleavage - if the blouse buttons up to the top is it that the blouse doesn't fit so you're wearing it unbuttoned?

Sorry to contradict Foxy but breast reduction isn't always a magic pill, and for many women they grow back too. And whilst I'm not suggesting you start wearing revealing clothes I don't think your religion should make you feel ashamed of your natural body shape.

If gaping is a problem then could you pin the gaps or even sew them shut and put the blouse over your head?

Actually, breast reduction is a magic pill. For those of us who've endured having large breasts all or lives, it's transformational and gives you a shit at feeling 'normal' . I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Whoops, typos! Shot, not shit, clearly!! And our not or but I'm sure you got the gist!!

I have large breasts Foxy. I also have a best friend who had a reduction - and they've grown back. She's not alone in this, it's actually pretty common . I accept full that for some people it is great, especially those with health issues as a result and I am not inherently opposed to breast reduction. However it's major surgery. I have the same size breasts as the OP - I am perfectly normal!

I am not too much smaller than OP, and do not think I'm hideous, gross or abnormal. Of course reduction could be the solution if your breasts are causing health issues, but it seems a drastic step to take just because you don't like how you look in a blouse, there are other options to try before opting for major surgery.

It's the way I look just totally top heavy nothing fits. I'm sure people think I've had surgery to enlarge my breasts. When my daughter was born the midwife said something like. You probably will not be able to breast feed with those! Like they were alien tits. I felt so ashamed. I do feel disgusted at my shape it's just the way I am. It's not normal in my mind it looks totally out of place. My shoulders ache and the bra digs in and causes cuts on my shoulder blades.

I wasn't aware that they could grow back. I did think it was the way forward. Is it only if you put on weight? Or do you re grow breast tissue?

If your bra causes cuts and makes your shoulders ache, it doesn't fit right - where did you get fitted? I'm the same size as you pretty much, and the worst I ever get is a little bit of irritation where the bottom of my bra is and only when I've had a day where I've pretty much sat at my desk in the same position for a long time.

They can grow back, and not just with weight gain. It doesn't happen to everyone but it does happen to a fair number.

I got one at bravissimo and another at john lewis. Neither are right. The back is too big I think. It is quite baggy and I have to pull the straps as tight as they can go. They are really not right. I was really hoping to save for a reduction but now I wonder if it's worth it. It makes me feel so depressed. Do you get a problem that the shirts you buy fit on the bust but are like a tent everywhere else. Even the arms of my shirt are too long!

I had a feeling that was going to be the problem. Because so many companies still fit poorly, not enough women who should be wearing the smaller band sizes are. We need 26s and.24s but they are just not available. The issues that you describe are classic band too big problems. How do the bras fit otherwise - are the cups Ok? If so, the best thing you can do is to take the bands in. It's easy to do, and will make a huge difference. There are a couple of different ways to do it -either remove the clips and reattach, or take a small fold in either side of the band and stitch it down firmly.

Shirts - ah my favourites. Not. I don't wear them much but when I do I buy them from pepperberry or biubiu. They do ones designed for boobs so you would buy eg a size 8super curvy which has the proportions of a size 8 body but with lots of bust space. No tenting.

Which bras do you have - we might be able to suggest some alternatives, possibly down the custom made but not hideously expensive polish bra route.

yes, you need shirts made for boobs. As recommended, Pepperberry, BiuBiu.pl or dd-atelier.com/Tops/Formal-shirts/

The midwife was so out of order! Mine, interestingly, said the opposite - well, you should certainly have plenty of milk! (both BS statements, of course, but at least mine was a positive comment).

If you can get to one go to Rigby and pellar - I spoke to the shop assistant at mine and she had worked at bravissimo and was a different size with Rigby and in a better fit.

Don't buy more than one bra from there though - they are so expensive.

I'm sorry you feel shame. Easy for me to say don't - but don't. You've done nothing wrong!

Tbh I'm not sure how much help rigby will be -their range seems to be quite limited below 30 and above h. Which is a shame as their service is good.

Bras are not always the answer. Big breasts are still big breasts, no matter how well scaffolded they are. Breast reductions are a lifeline to people who no longer want to face the world with a frontage that makes them feel self conscious. Happy to go into details about my operation OP if its of interest to you. My experience was text book, with absolutely no complications.

Not saying they are always the answer! But op has said that she would need to save up, so she needs a solution for now at least. And even if she does get a reduction she will still benefit from working out how to get bras to fit her back size as that won't change

True!