What is wrong with looking mumsy?

[bouquetofpencils]

Just that really.

What is mumsy? I associate mumsy with being comfortable. In which case I was mumsy long before I was a mum.

I think the issue with being called "mumsy" is the implication you have given up on looking like a "woman" and now look like a "mum", as in you've lost your own identity to your role as parent iyswim.

Maudelynn what do you consider stylish then? Tomorrow I am out for lunch and am wearing leather pencil skirt sloppy cashmere jumper and ankle boots Will try and make sure I put the light on.

and this hat

How about we stop using the word 'mumsy' as a derogative term?

Chocolate - Mum Boots

I don't want to look like I'm just a mum, I want to look (a bit) like the super cool woman in my office do on the weekends. I want to look like I've made some effort and I've dressed to look either fashionable, or glamorous, or interesting, not just dressed focussed just on practicalities and covering a "post-baby body" in a way that doesn't draw attention to the less firm bits...

However, having DCs makes this hard, babies grabbing at earrings and necklaces means you stop wearing them. For similar reasons, hair has to be tied up, and often you don't have time to properly style it. Babies being sick a lot, covering you in snot, throwing foods means you have to wear clothes that wash well. Body shape changes suddenly means that tight fitting clothing doesn't look as good, and relearning to love a new body shape is hard.

For the first time, I found I really had to think about practical and stylish. It is so much harder to do both! I've got a thread running about spring shoes, I can do winter boots that are flat and not too mumsy, I can do flat sandals that are cool and funky, it's this stage that's hard, and most flat and easy to walk in shoes (a must if you've got a buggy to push all day) are mumsy. At work, it's easy to just do the commute in scruffy old comfy trainers then put on heels, and a smart outfit with trainers on the train clearly looks like it's just for the commute, but with jeans and a jumper all day, it looks like you're just being scruffy.

Thanks Mary. I definitely own mum boots . They are from the Rihanna at River Island range if that makes any difference..!

Try living in a first floor flat with no lift and a baby. Bye bye high heels.

Typical outfit? Not sure I have one! Today we hung around our neighbourhood - local pizzeria for lunch, park to drop off DD with a friend, spring clothes shopping for DP - and I wore boyfriend jeans, Philippe Model pink trainers, a navy blue pique cotton top from Sofie d'Hoore (Queen of low key structured clothing), a pink scarf in a sort of hard wrinkled silk. The top half is casual but not soft or baggy. And I wore a new necklace of little beads and a tassel and a white Goyard tote.

(BTW - any of you stylish ladies with good spring "non-mumsy but possible to walk 3-4 miles" in footwear suggestions, please pop over to my other thread and post your suggestions, I don't want to look like I've given up completely, while not wanting to have to start driving everywhere, so need some good ideas - there's a few others on there waiting for suggestions!)

Bonsoir friend has those trainers LOVE them

I don't stray into S&B very often but when I do it makes me poke my own eyes out with a fork.

I would say I am 'mumsy' and probably always have been, even before children.

I'm currently wearing skinny jeans (I'm so downward curve) and a long jumper. I have a variety of tunic type garments in my wardrobe.

The problem I have with these threads is they are all roundabout ways of criticising people who are fat.

I'm a size 16 and cannot possibly pull off most trends. I have a flabby stomach, a waist considerably thicker than it was, fat arms & a huge arse. As a result, I tend to choose clothes which hide these particular areas so that people don't laugh & point in the streets.

I would imagine many women find themselves in this position. That's why White Stuff, Boden et al are so successful.

You can't say that on here though so you dress 'fat' up as 'mumsy, frumpy, not caring' or any other euphemism to describe giving up.

Other threads are full of 'shouldn't wear x if over a size 12' 'bingo wings' etc.

I have yet to encounter a S&B thread where I can be given anything to wear without losing 2 stone.

I have two pairs and there are loads more I covet!

Those boots aren't mum boots, they are far too high.

You obviously haven't tried walking up my garden to watch back flip no 300.

(For lawn read rough field and consequently anything except flat shoes or low wedges is out)

Noddy..is that a photo of you wearing the hat?

Newpencil - i don't think mumsy is automatically about being overweight and dressing for that. I know several woman who I think dress very mumsy, but are at most size 10.

i think you can be larger and stylish, but that detailing and fit of clothes does need to be even more important.

Oh we have Scottishmummy again.
God I wish that woman would loose her job and be blacklisted from ever getting another.

Smug, snide and unpleasant as always

Newpencilcase, that's certainly not the case for me re saying mumsy when I mean fat. Cos I'm overweight myself. And the women at the party I described were universally smaller than I am.

I've also known at least some of them for a while, and know that this is a look they have adopted since having children - so whilst I'm not a huge fan of the mumsy description, if someone says "mumsy" that is what I think of.

I am a size 16 newpencil and I wear what I like! I pity women who say oh when I lose the baby weight/3 stone I will wear what I really want too. I wear what I like now and could not give a flying fuck what anyone thinks!

See, l love clothes, shopping, style etc. But what does get my goat is that it's far too easy to criticise without suggesting viable alternatives. I'm guilty of it myself, I admit. But after 40 it just all seems about what you shouldn't wear.

On here, most high street shops are absolutely non u. Next is the work of the devil, White Stuff etc the land of the fashion forlorn. It just begs the question what should we wear?

I'm ok, I don't mind dancing with the devil. I have clothes from most high street shops, especially Gap. I'm happy with my look. But if I was looking for guidance I'd be like... Tell me what's ok!

Also very interested in what jeans are considered ok. I've finally embraced skinnies and now I'm over the hill. I own a pair of nice boyfriends, but they are only any good in summer as I can't wear socks/ covered shoes with them.

I have thought about this a lot over the last year and to be honest I think that there are very few mums who don't have some element of "mumsiness" going on, myself included. Everyone tries but there is always something that gives it away. On our flight back from our holidays last year there was a woman sitting in front of us with her family who I was mesmerised by and it clicked, she was just so utterly cool and that shocked me because she was a mum to 3 kids. I know it shouldn't but it did.

I feel terribly mumsy at times and it frustrates me but sometimes life and practicalities dictates that.

Nocomet - what about these beauties? bit lower. It's a general style that's just so... mumsy.

And yes, office wear can also be mumsy, there are a few woman I work with who are very mumsy, they would wear those mum boots with black trousers from next and an easy to wash, shapeless v neck jumper. Smart yet entirely sexless.

Are these your trainers Bonsoir? I like. Is a pique top a polo shirt? Not so sure about that, a bit 'golf' for me. And balanced by boyfriends and trainers on bottom half makes sense. Wouldn't call it structured though - just a few markers of money - the white designer bag eg. I think having money def helps at any age.

You are probably right Mary and I certainly know plenty of women that would apply to.

I suppose I've just never really got the whole fashion thing.

I understand women who wish to be more groomed than me (which wouldn't be hard) and it's all a question of priorities.

But I find statements like 'I now feel uncomfortable in a blazer & a scarf but I didn't last year' utterly baffling.

Do you like the fucking coat or not?

Yesterday I wore a boden shirt that has been in my wardrobe for about 8 years.

Most fashions, whether clothing, waxing, fake tan or whatever, as nothing to do with what actually suits you or looks good, but everything to do with demonstrating to others that you have the free time, disposable income and inclination to focus on your appearance.

The term 'mumsy' has nothing to do with the actual clothes or whether they look nice, but the overall sense that they don't have the time or energy.

Anna's trainers for example. Converse are 'mumsy' whereas hers are deemed 'cool' but I suspect the only real difference is about £150.

So I shall wave my probably too patterned mumsy flag proudly.

See I would never consider trainers whoever the designer or however much they cost either stylish or mumsy-trainers are for doing sport/exercise in my book. Women in jeans and trainers however is the very definition of mumsy to me.

nothing imo

i think of mumsy as fleeces, and bob haircuts