What is wrong with looking mumsy?

[bouquetofpencils]

Just that really.

What is mumsy? I associate mumsy with being comfortable. In which case I was mumsy long before I was a mum.

To me, the skinnies tucked in boots with fecking scarves or statement necklaces are more mumsy than a pair of bootcut jeans, because it is the 'mum uniform' (sort of "look at me, I'm so 'unmumsy', I always make an effort" iyswim).

My mid 20s DD wears skinnies in boots and has a selection of scarves.
She is single, a hard working professional, trendy and not remotely mumsy.

Today I am wearing grey silk shirt white skinnies leopard trainers and a big cashmere wrap. I have shoulder length no style hair wavy bob shape but not blow dried,not mumsy at all and I am old! It does depend how you wear things too I agree I feel mumsy in anything patterned or too colourful

Not exactly defensive, I was just pointing out the flaws in your 'mummy martyr' theory. I could get all high-minded and say I'm too busy studying the great philosophers to worry about appearance, but TBH I've probably used the time I've saved on playing video games. And getting out of bed half an hour later in the morning.

Ironically, I'm typing this in between getting glammed up for a black tie wotsit, and I've just fucked up my eyeshadow. How can you fuck up eyeshadow?! Some of us were just not born for this sort of thing.

I generally avoid patterns but have just put on a flowery Oasis jumper with strategic zips. With skinnies and Chelsea boots.

At 53, I am not ready to embrace the fleece and slacks look.

I have a choppyish bob and have suddenly decided I want a sharper edgier cut to show off my cheekbones.

I think if you want to design mumsy it is at the downward side of a fashion trend.

So, if each trend lasts about 7 years, the after the culmination of the trend, it starts to slide towards obselence

...and I just get feelings about things. I feel uncomfortable in a scarf, whereas last year I felt fine. I feel wrong now in ballet pumps and skinny jeans whereas last year I felt fine. I felt wrong in leggings and tunics about 3 years ago, and never ever wear leggings any more.

Just my feelings though, not saying it's right...

That's it orange, I also have the theory that if the current trend is similar to something your own mother would have worn when you were early teens you will define that as mumsy too.

E.g., the chronic overstyling and ott glamour grooming of the last few years has felt very mumsy to me (even on those in their 20s), because it reminded me of my mum in the 80s. (Lip gloss, blown out hair, high neck blouses, dresses & skirts etc).

Yes, I have totally changed the scarves I wear. I have few lovely silk and cotton mix ones but they are too light. Now favouring big massive oversized knitted ones. One colour. My favourite is a bright orange Cos one in a waffle knit. Anything with butterflies is now mumsy in my eyes.

Agree re scarves and accessories in general.

I fidget with scarves and feel too dressed up in a statement necklace and I do a good line in slightly hippy earrings.
I don't wear make up because I never have except when dressed up and like wise my hair has no style because no style is how it grows.

All I want is a patterned T that has no unnecessary styling and is that undefinable colour and pattern that appeals to me that I cant explain.

Also, I think animal and birdcage patterns are over now. By animal, I mean dogs/birds/owls etc, not animal print.....although that makes me shudder too.

I'm 47 and definitely not mumsy. I don't think I'm mutton either though"better mutton than frumpy" is a core belief.

T-shirting and soft knits are rarely sexy when you are past 30. The older you get the more structure and cut are important. Also grooming, a great hairdresser and proper underwear.

Can I just clarify that I did not say women over 40 were either mumsy or mutton - why would I say that when I'm way past 50
What I said was that they get called either one thing or the other. In fact I've been called both although, obviously, I am neither! But sorry if I worded my post badly.

But I think too much structure and cut defines you as being more mature

I think t shirts and soft knits look great on older people, as long as they are not too extreme.

If you wear too much structure you can lose the ability to look casual, and then look more formal, hence more mature.

I think it's horrible that on a site like Mumsnet that we bandy around a term such as 'mumsy', which equates being a mother with being unstylish.

And the implicit ageism as well in all of these posts is really disturbing.

Depends on your figure rather than age.

If you are very slim and toned you can wear anything and look good. Flabby and toneless and even the most beautifully cut outfit will not look that great .

Slim people generally look younger and less mumsy too, I think.

I think whether structure works or not is possibly more down to body shape than age. I generally don't look good in soft, casual clothes as I'm an exaggerated hourglass and I just lose any definition in them. There is the odd exception - I have a few nice drapey cowl necks that work with jeans for example - but I generally don't look any good in casual gear.

I like looking wise and clever! Not foolish and ignorant. That involves looking a bit mature - though not formal. I'm very informal.

I'm a SAHM structured looks like office wear and good underwear reminds me of the mindset that sentenced my DM to wearing a girdle at before she was 40.

Wise and clever? Never thought of trying to look like that, Quite like it as a concept.

I mostly try to look casual yet feminine.

I am still wedded to my skinnies, and big scarves, but am out jn the sticks where that is consider by some as "glamorous"! Also, I have long legs and the skinnies are easy to wear in my wellies ( flooded here mist of the winter, so you end up thinking "fuck fashion" as you wade through mud with tour dog in the pissing rain.

In London I would be mumsy, massively so.

But surely you can wear what you want & be comfortable because you are just not interested in so-called fashion and style rather than because you have immersed yourself in motherhood?

I loathe fashion and think spending money on clothes is wasteful and indulgent but I have always felt like that, it's got nothing to do with being a mother - and yes, I worked in the fashion industry for years .

Mumsy.its a word that evokes frumpy,sensible,and manageable haircut
It's the female equivalent of giving up,time for knackers yard.old before time
All the precious moments mean that forgo any notion of style as it's not important now you're a mutha

I don't think mumsy = ageist. You wouldn't say Diana Vreeland in her hey-day was mumsy.

I think it's just a look that you recognise once you become a mum (comfort, practicality, where you choose to spend your money). And I think that being a mum is such an all-consuming activity, that some of us freak out at the idea of that identity consuming us

PS Orange can you tell us what you do?? I'm intrigued!

I teach fashion at a level.....

Ok, Orange can I derail the thread a bit and ask you some question about what will last/disappear? I mean, where are skinny/slim trousers in the bell shape you described? It feels as if they will always be around, but that can't be right!