Bra gurus - help please!

[TeeManyMartoonis]

So my bras are all too old and have stretched so I decided to get new ones. I had a look at the bra interventions threads and realised that I probably needed to go up cup sizes. The best fitting bra I have is a 32DD which is from Boux Avenue but to be honest I probably don't tug anything from my back enough when I wear it (it is more of a bra to be taken off, if you know what I mean!)
So I went into Boux and the fitter said I was a 34 - I knew I was going to have no luck! She eventually crammed me into a 32E but it didn't fit at all - If I even did a little bit of hoiking I was overspilling. I just nodded politely and got out. So I went into M&S and got myself two 30Fs. Back is tight but ok (I can get 2 fingers under fine) and it fitted like a dream in the shop. BUT - have now worn it today and its like my boobs just fall down into it so the tops gape. When I reajust and fiddle around back into it it is great. But I can't do that every 5 mins! The middle part is also digging in quite uncomfortably but I wonder if that is just a new bra issue.
It is a balcony bra which usually fit me. After recent weight loss (not planned) my boobs are very shallow at the top.

Help - I am miserable - I don't think I will ever find a bra that fits me :-(
Bra gurus - please help!

Not a guru I'm afraid but i do watch the bra threads since I realised I had been wearing wrong bra for years

What are your measurements and do you scoop?

Ok first off can you measure according to the guide on thebetterbracampaign.blogspot.Co.UK

Also have a look at your boobs and try to work out whether they are full on top or bottom, wide or narrow root-ie do they go under arms, how big is the gap between them etc etc

Thanks Statistically. I have just moved and can't locate my tape measure but will do when I find it again! I am definitely fuller at the bottom, not much going on higher up these days at least. Nothing under arms. They are quite far apart. I am definitely tender today after wearing the bra yesterday.

OK, for you as a rule moulded/t shirt bras and plunges are probably going to be awful. The cups will be too tall. Can you link to the bra you purchased please?

Part of the problem is that what one shop calls a balcony another calls a plunge!

Stat. that is what I have found so far - my boobs look like they need a roommate in a plunge!

I bought these two:

www.marksandspencer.com/floral-lace-padded-longline-balcony-dd-gg-bra/p/p22270397

I can't find the other one at the mo. Same sinking issue (though to a lesser extent) but didn't dig in.

That one's odd. Although it is a balconette shape, it's not sitting well on the model, and she's almost falling inwards at the top. The straps also look strange where they are joining, like they are literally hauling the cups back up (you can see the strain on the cup fabric). If you look at the photos you'll see she's also got it done up on the tightest hook and it's still rising up. What's happening there is that the band isn't firm enough for her, so the cups are naturally trying to fall forward away from her body and they are only being held up by the straps.

Out of interest, what dress size are you? I'm also wondering if you still need a smaller band size as too big a band can be the cause of the gaping. Can you grab one of those 30s, put it on back to front and see how far away from your body you can pull the band please?

If I pull fairly firmly I could fit my fist in (with my little finger against my chest IYSWIM).

I am an 8.

Thank you for your help thus far - I had never noticed those things on he model

i have never found a m&s bra to fit me nicely unfortunately as they do some pretty ones.

id go for a freya full coverage one, or a triumph Amourette for every day wear

In that case, I think we have the problem - you should not be able to do that! and M&S bands tend to run a bit small too. You probably need to go down to a 28. If the band isn't tight enough the cups don't tend to stay as upright against your chest wall as they need to. I'd suggest trying a 28FF, G and GG to start with (unless you find a tape measure in the mean time!). A 32E is designed for someone measuring 38 around the bust which on a 28 band would be a GG, but sister sizing from the 30F would get a 28FF so I would suggest trying all the sizes in that range.

I bought a new bra recently - ordered online. I'm normally a 30 but have lost a little weight, so I ordered the bra in my usual 30HH, and also a 28J which has the same cup volume. I tried the 30HH and it gaped a lot, falling forward, didn't hold me up right. Tried the 28J and that issue just vanished even though the cups were the same.

I think you need to move in with me Stat. I hope that is ok!

Found the tape measure. 30 and 35 (bent over like the website you showed me). Does that change things?

That would in theory suggest a 30DD. However, if you are bulging out of a 32DD that's not going to work.

How tight did you pull the tape in the underbust? You should be standing up for the underbust and pulling it tight

I was standing up straight and fairly tight but I think it could have been a 29 if it was tighter.

OK,it looks like you are one of those people who measure smaller than they fit in the cup (pretty common!)

Do you have somewhere else locally you can do to try bras on? A bravissimo (for fitting) would be ideal but I know they are few and far between. What about a debenhams?

What you need to do is choose a couple of bras to start with, and try it on in 95 zillion sizes. I would take a 28 and a 30 in to start with, and the first thing is to do the back to front test. You should only be able to pull the band a couple of inches away really. That will tell you which band size to go for. Then deal with the cups. Trying to do both together can be very confusing hence doing the band first. I'd maybe take in 28F, FF and 30E/F and work from there.

Note - if you go to debenhams their gorgeous range run small - they stock loads of freya though which is more accurate

I can get to a Debenhams. Thank you for your help! Will report back