Mardy Crepeys

[SheherazadeSchadenfreude]

Done it...

BTM, no, we don't do contracts in this house. :) Pay as you go is, imo, the right way to go as they have to take complete responsibility for how much they spend. In dd's case, this means she hardly ever has credit on her phone and just uses our wifi. I pay £5 a month which means that dd, dh and I can all call each other even if we have no credit. When dd does put a tenner on her phone (when she goes away, for example), she also gets a month's worth of data and 500 text messages. We can't put a blanket block on net access as we're often working at funny hours. Until 11.30pm last night, in my case and until 12.30am for dh.

Hatty, hello again, sounds like you have been having a nice time. Apart from the late-night taxi duty..

I am constantly nagging dp to sort out some kind of blocking software for ds's PC - I think I will end up doing it myself.

I am also reading Life after Life Hatty!

DS's favourite occupation is playing on my computer, (an iMac) which until now had been fine, as he'd just play the games on cbeebies, or search for his favourite songs on YouTube. I'd have to try and make sure he wasn't on it for too long.

But then he discovered PowerPoint, and kept making us 'presentations', saying how much he loves us, complete with clip art. Then printing them out, using v expensive ink. Then he started doing Word and Excel documents the same. This is of course very endearing. But now he wants to open up and start using Outlook, which I don't even understand. It can't be long now until he buggers something up.

So I've set him up a separate account, but it doesn't really seem to work properly...

He also spends a lot of time on my phone, playing games such as 'Hair Salon' of 'Make up playtime', and downloading new ones. Somehow. I put passcodes on the phone, and he breaks them within a couple of days.

He is using his powers for evil.

Aww, Herbs, it won't be long now until you inspect your search history and find your first "Nekkid laydiz". It's a rite of passage these days. And beware, my ds was YouTube searching (a few years ago now) for his favourite tune by The Wanted and ended up viewing something extremely unsavoury by mistake.

Stropps, the settings on our TalkTalk allow you to just block certain types of sites at certain times - so like social media (ie FB!) Weirdly, it does not affect MN

Hatty, cross-country? Are you mad???!!! And we get wifi where we go in the Alps
I read Do Birds Sing in Hell when I was skiing. Not very highbrow, but very gripping, if sad.

I dread to think why DS might possibly want an ipad mini for his birthday!

Very jealous of and impressed with techy ability to block certain sites at certain times.

I am investigating Minecraft for my sins. Can someone please explain how I buy it and do I need two lots if my two children are going to play it and not ruin each others kingdoms?

I would like to preface this by, I'm not sure this is a good thing...... but ds has threatened to buy it WITH HIS OWN MONEY which is a shocker as he is notoriously tight. This then starts screams of 'I don't have my own money!' from dd2.

Please advise, dear Crepeys. (I appreciate this is a a first world problem )

You buy minecraft online and download it. One of the children in the village has his own server and all the children go on there - he has very strict rules and they get barred if they mess around :)

I've been trying to work out how to block certain channels on YouTube, such as the infernal Annoying Orange. It doesn't seem to be possible, which is something of an oversight.

Mild vent required re DP and the father sitch. Not surprisingly, DP's in a bad way. But he seems to be snapping at DS even more than usual. I've told DS that daddy's a bit sad at the moment because of Dadda, but don't want to start the whole 'don't upset your father' thing, as it seems a heavy responsibility for a 4yo. But I find it horrible when DS is just mildly cheeky, and gets a full-face shout in return.

Should I ask DP, gently, to calm it down?

Sitch not helped by his work being mad and stressful, with all sorts of high-profile media and political shit about to happen.

BTM - My parents in law don't even own an computer - it is seriously backward chez eux .

Beachy - I am unable to explain Minecraft but we use it like BD said - I did read some threads on here a while ago which went into the mysteries of the game - I think it is probably the least harmless thing for 11/12 year olds - although DS can be very secretive about it.

CV - I just read about the self-harming boy - that sounds awful - I just read the guest post on MN by Joanna Shields - incredible that children can be so cruel.

No good on Minecraft info as noone is remotely interested in it in our house Infact, I don't think DS has gone on his xbox since the Christmas holidays. But that is likely to change when he gets his birthday requests...

I don't allow ds to play Minecraft online. He has the Pocket Edition for the tablet (which he bought himself) and he got the xbox edition for his birthday. There are "no grief" servers, apparently, which are moderated (I think, but don't quote me on that) and where everyone has to play nicely, but ds will chat to anyone and everyone and I don't think he's in anyway mature enough to play safely online without me looking over his shoulder all the time. Which I'm not prepared to do (especially as just looking at MC gives me motion sickness). The nephews each have their own copies. When we see the nephews, the ds and the dns just all sit in a huddle with their devices, doing Minecraft things. Bizarre.

Oh, there are 2 types of Minecraft, Creative and er, the other one. Ds now mainly plays Creative, as he got too upset when his house kept getting blown up when he played whatever the other one is called (which has zombies etc).

Survival is the other Minecraft mode.

Ha - I knew zombies had to be involved somewhere - I shall interrogate DS when he comes in and surprise him with my Minecraft knowledge. .

My two just build stuff. Endlessly. So it must be Creative.

I am feeling small and drab. I suspect an oversized pale grey sweater, however cashmere it is, is not the best thing for my confidence or my colouring.

Any hints re DP sitch?

Oh herbs, so sorry - I was sort of hinting at this, because my DP was utterly vile at the time of his bereavement. I think if you can point out it's not DS's fault and please tone it down you should...but it may not get through.

And you'll take the flack, obviously.

I guess if he can build a little more time each day for him, it may help him cope a little better when faced with ds. You will also become an expert diffuser. You will see the temperature rising and sweep in to remove one or other from the situation. I tend to do this when dh has his stress monkey pulling his strings...

Herbs, I have no experience of this, but I think I would (knowing that your DP can be a leetle sensitive to criticism - DH has the opposite problem!) tread very carefully when suggesting that he might try to tone it down a bit. And hope that once the shock has calmed a little, he might be a bit more tolerant?

In S&B news, I have just taken delivery of this jacket and this long jumper which is most definitely not dress length on me!

It's also OK to tell him if he's being out of order, I think. Certainly if he's snarling at DS.

I've trod a middle line, and said that I've told DS that DP is sad, and sometimes when grown-ups are sad, it comes out as 'cross'. A bit PA, but needs must.

In S&B news, I'm contemplating a long cardi, to wear with skinny jeans and/or leggings for casual wear. Hard to find one that isn't frumptastic and makes me look a size 20.

In 'wife' news, I've spent the day cleaning, made blueberry pancakes, and even viakalled the sink. Reminds me how much I HATE housework. So farking tedious and pointless and thankless.

so true, Herbs. That's why working full-time outside the house is so good - I can afford to pay our cleaner

It's a veritable conundrum. When I worked outside the home, we didn't make much mess so didn't need a cleaner. Now I'm home, there's more mess but we can't afford one.

Herbs, I agree with BTM, I would be very careful for now, and I think your explanation to ds sounds fine. Guilt in various shapes and sizes comes with the territory I think - there may be times ahead when your dh thinks he is being a rubbish husband, son and father all at once, and that may make him even snappier. So I think I would tend to leave it for now, if you can, let him find his way in this horrible new world, he will know deep down he has been out of line. Make sure you too have a outlet though and don't feel you have to be a saint!

My house is incredibly messy, we seem to have huge piles of clothes everywhere but always wear the same things.