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Mardy Crepeys

999 replies

SheherazadeSchadenfreude · 02/03/2014 13:17

Done it...

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 03/03/2014 13:00

MI, I have lost one of my favourite photos of DD - taken at nursery when she was about 2 and without a care in the world. I'm sure noone has thrown it out, but I just can't find itSad

BD, does she go to any groups/church or anywhere where others might come round and have a chat or go with her to other things? DM is in a few groups and seems to have some younger friends/neighbours who are very kind to her.

CointreauVersial · 03/03/2014 13:07

Trauma at Chateau Cointreau last night - at about 9.45pm, just as the girls were going to bed, we heard hysterical sobbing from DD1's room. She had somehow got into conversation on Instagram with a boy from DD2's school (Y6), and he suddenly started sending videos of himself "self harming" (I use inverted commas because it wasn't clear if he was actually cutting himself, or fooling with a knife and pretending to). DD1 was begging him not to, getting more and more upset, telling him to confide in someone, at which point he said that if she told anyone he'd "hang himself".

To be honest, we really didn't know what to do. DD2 knows the boy by sight, but isn't in his class, and doesn't know his surname, or who he's friends with. I couldn't think of anyone to call....the messages continued after DD1 went to bed, becoming rather more abusive, but followed by profuse apologies. We decided after much thought to wait until this morning, and DH went into the school to see the head and show her the messages, and she has thankfully leapt into action. Apparently the boy had previously undergone some sort of counselling.

It's a strange one - I think if it had been regular "cyber-bullying" DD1 would have known what to do, but this boy was saying "I'll harm myself", and that sent us all into a panic. This is a boy still at primary school. DH was all for ringing the police last night, but I didn't want to over-react / cause a fuss etc. etc. Reading between the lines I didn't perceive the child to be in immediate danger, but what do I know? Was that the right approach? Gah! Poor DD1 didn't sleep a wink. Bloody Instagram.

beachyhead · 03/03/2014 13:14

Sounds like you did the right thing CV. The only thing I would add is to ask your dc's to be quiet about it (which I'm sure they will). A great friend of ds had a similar breakdown of sorts in year 6 and was hounded out of the school by chitter chatter by the children and parents. It was all handled very badly, so I'm glad your head acted promptly. More likely to be a cry for help rather than anything else, I guess. So sad....

bigTillyMint · 03/03/2014 13:28

Oh gosh, CV, Y6 is so young to be doing thatSad Hopefully the HT can offer some advice to you about what to do if he contacts her again.

I think you did the right thing too.

motherinferior · 03/03/2014 13:31

Oh lord, how awful.

I'd forgotten we hear about DD2's school place today Shock. In my defence the school is very near and she is a sibling.

bigTillyMint · 03/03/2014 13:38

I guess she got a place then, MI!

cremolafoam · 03/03/2014 13:38

Holy moly CV that's very young indeed to even be acquainted with issues like self harm. I'm not sure what else you could do in the circs.
Hope the head teacher is on the ball.
Very shocking for your dd too. Sad
The internet is not a lovely place at all.

bigTillyMint · 03/03/2014 13:47

Not wanting to be heartless, but maybe your DD should now block him on social media? Your DD's safety and happiness is important and now you have informed the HT, someone else (ie not your DD) should be able to offer some support.

NUFC69 · 03/03/2014 14:24

CV, how awful for everyone concerned, but particularly your family as your DD had to cope first hand with it all. I do think that you have to let the professionals deal with it now and your job is to keep DD out of the way. Unbelievable that children of that age even know about self harm.

lalsy · 03/03/2014 14:25

I thought I had posted but it has vanished! Laptop now up and running but I am a bit doolally after a few days without.

CV, how awful. I think blocking is a good idea, if possible - and perhaps also worth asking HT very directly for specific guidance about what to do if this happens again - they may give you their mobile number or some other out of hours way of raising alarm without calling the police.

motherinferior · 03/03/2014 15:22

Yes. Blocking definitely good idea. Poor love.

herbaceous · 03/03/2014 16:05

The modern world never ceases to dismay me.

On the other hand, I've just had a marvellous internet-based experience. There's a local Facebook page called Wxx sell and swap. I asked if anyone had a Buzz Lightyear they were selling, as DS has developed a total obsession with Toy Story, and talked about wanting a BL over breakfast this morning.

A lovely lady replied, I went round to her house before school pick up to display her wares, and she let me have SEVEN (7, VII) BLs for £10. Her son had been an avid collector, and they'd just been gathering dust.

DS's face was a picture.

motherinferior · 03/03/2014 16:17

And here we all are on the internet, getting a huge amount of friendship and support from it too...

I told DD1 she's now old enough for Facebook if she wants, but to remember it's full of dodgy middle-aged blokes pretending to be Zayn Malik lookalikes and she just looked at me and said "what about all those friends of yours who came to your birthday party that we didn't know?" Grin

CointreauVersial · 03/03/2014 17:00

Grin MI, she's got you there.

The dust is settling after our traumatic evening. Both the HT and the DHead sat down with DH and went through the messages and immediately contacted the boy's parents. Apparently he has had a "difficult" family life, so it was a textbook cry for help, just directed at the wrong person. Both girls have been sworn to secrecy, and DD1 is feeling a bit more reassured now we have blocked him. She got a little hug from her old Y6 teacher when we popped in to collect DD2 after netball, and told she did absolutely the right thing.

bigTillyMint · 03/03/2014 17:21

MIGrin

CV, sounds like the school and you handled it really wellSmile

We now have 2 new lampshades in our living room and a working light/fan in the loft bathroom. Only thing is I'm wishing one of the lights was on a longer flexConfused

CointreauVersial · 03/03/2014 17:34

Just heard DD2 has her secondary place at DS/DD1's school. Only a mammoth SNAFU by her mother would have put her place in doubt, but it's still nice to see it in black and white. Two of her best mates are also in, just waiting to hear from a third.

Much shrieking and excited Facetiming in progress.

bigTillyMint · 03/03/2014 17:52

Glad to hear that CV - it is a relief isn't it!

motherinferior · 03/03/2014 18:04

Yep, DD2's inGrin

I may kill, in no particular order:

People who insist on using the email address I abandoned last year, and which I only now get through my phone

People who do not sort out a sodding commission before sending me off on the wrong direction

DP and his sodding 'working late'

DP and his sodding no caffeine

SheherazadeSchadenfreude · 03/03/2014 19:26

Are you due on, MI? Grin If the Inferiorette gets FB, the younger Schadenfraulein is on it, and I am sure will be amenable to being added as a friend.

OP posts:
Blackduck · 04/03/2014 08:42

CV that is awful :(
We have internet safety talk at school tonight - do you know you kik from your something else.... It's a minefield isn't it? My administrators son got excluded for a lark that would have not got picked up on in our day, but because it was videoed on a mobile and passed round the school.....
I have choir so am not going!

NUFC69 · 04/03/2014 09:29

Glad to see that this has been resolved satisfactorily for your DD, CV. Thank goodness these problems didn't exist when my DC were young, I don't know how I would have coped.

Another shopping excursion today for me, which will be lovely after doing extended baby sitting for DD. I do love the GC to bits but it's nice to give them back. By the time DGS was collected yesterday he was using potty beautifully (polishes halo). Mind you I am sure that is because we were able to give him 100% attention which his mum couldn't do with the baby as well.

Stropperella · 04/03/2014 10:07

I'm quite hopeful that I will never have to have anything much to do with potty-training ever again. It's not my forte.

We're about to get a new router which will enable us to block certain devices in the household from getting on the net, as dd's phone needs blocking so that she can actually get some kind of revision done (looks like the fuse will have to disappear from the TV plug again too. I don't think she's doing a GCSE in "Snog, Marry, Avoid"). Also ds thinks he knows everything and keeps trying to dodge the rules about what he's allowed to access on the net. Life was a little easier before we got an overly-brainy TV that talks to the net.

Dd has reverted to her "snarly" setting. The only interaction she managed this morning was "Go away", "Shut up" and a lot of door-slamming. I'm thinking a) hormones and b) a last-minute realisation that watching lowest common denominator tv doesn't help with maths test revision. Just guessing, though...

Stropperella · 04/03/2014 10:48

Apparently dn1 has got into a selective grammar, much to the surprise of his parents. No tutoring, no preparation of any sort. They just thought they'd put him into the exams and see what happened. He likes tests, so he quite enjoyed himself. They haven't even visited the school - aside from dropping him off for the test. Db now vaguely worried because now they've actually looked at the website Hmm , they've noticed there's a big emphasis on rugby and he thinks this will be a nasty shock to dn1. I suspect that dn1 will quite enjoy it as he has always been huge in comparison to his peers and is not averse to physical violence (as my ds will attest :) )

hattymattie · 04/03/2014 11:05

Hello everybody - found you all - have been offline for a couple of weeks - dashed up to see my parents in the north of England for a couple of days and then dashed back to my parents in law in the French Alps - the land of no wifi. We left DS there for two weeks where he had ski lessons and in the absence of Minecraft read a lot of books. Suffice to say he is now back home and making up for his absence in the virtual world.

I have survived skiing but next year I think I'll do cross-country - being old and not liking speed and such like.

DD2 is involved in a production of The Crucible this week and the teacher has panicked and demanded that they rehearse until 10.30 every night this week - which means I have to pick up - just when I'm thinking about going to bed. Luckily we have just had Broadchurch here in France so I was glued to that.

I hope everybody is well - I need to go back and catch up with what everybody's been up to. By the way I must just add - I read Life after Life by Kate Atkinson whilst up in the mountains - highly recommended.

bigTillyMint · 04/03/2014 11:09

Stropps, does your DD have a phone on contract (with a data allowance)?Wink My DD is still periodically shouting at DH for changing the settings so that access to social media on the internet stops at 9.30!
Our morning interactions are mainly like that too!

Well done to your DN - hope they all like the school when they go to visit!