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Original poster

So bloody angry!!!

27 replies

Celestae · 21/02/2014 11:05

My lovely DP got his hair cut for the first time yesterday after a year of growth from what used to be a skinhead...

He has wild curls and I think they are lovely, he had a trim yesterday and the hairdresser took it shorter than he initially intended, however it looks lovely, really smart and a lot more manageable.

He has esteem issues due to his bipolar, and he went off to work today and everyone us calling him names because it's a dramatic change.

He's just text me really hurt and upset, now thinks I'm just saying its nice because I was trying to be nice.

Hmm I feel really sad now... I know he's a big boy and can look after himself and all, but I just wanna charge in there and kick their stupid little butts into Kingdom come for hurting my fragile boy

( he's probably not as fragile as I think of course, maybe I'm just a soft touch)

OP posts:
MrsWolowitz · 21/02/2014 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skivvywoman · 21/02/2014 11:13

Tell him Monday is a new day it will be forgotten about by then!

hercules1 · 21/02/2014 11:15

Is this your ds you are talking about? Surely not a partner Shock

JohnFarleysRuskin · 21/02/2014 11:15

This is your dp or your young Ds?

If its your dp, crikey! It's hair.

Apatite1 · 21/02/2014 11:21

Oh dear. I thought you were talking about your son!

Original poster
Celestae · 21/02/2014 11:23

My partner, not my son. Yeah I know it sounds like a mountain out of a molehill.... Normally I would say the same, but I'm 32 weeks pregnant and feeling a little teary today anyway. I think it's not really helping me deal... He seems to be doing better now

OP posts:
netty36 · 22/02/2014 05:29

Poor you... Take care of yourself xxxx it will pass!!

Chottie · 22/02/2014 06:06

I think it's horrid. I hate that type of 'banter' which is really just another name for being spiteful. If you are feeling a bit fragile, it is really difficult to take.

I would say that once something else happens or someone else does something at work, the focus will switch off your DP. Hope you both have a relaxing weekend and congrats on your new baby :)

HopeClearwater · 22/02/2014 13:04

'my fragile boy'

Oh dear. This would have been a bit pfb for a ds, never mind a grown man.

Tell him to man up.

FunkyBoldRibena · 22/02/2014 13:06

Man has haircut drama. Seriously?

coffeeinbed · 22/02/2014 13:09

It's hair.
It'll grow again!

RonaldMcDonald · 22/02/2014 13:09

fragile boy...is he your lover or your son?

coffeeinbed · 22/02/2014 13:10

But yes, I can see why you are upset.
It'll pass.

BulletForMySandwich · 22/02/2014 13:10

Fgs everyone saying op is being dramatic, if her dp has bipolar she's being anything but dramatic!
Your poor partner, try to get him to see people have 'banter' all the time not just pick on him and just be there for him, maybe tell him all the things you like about it.
Hope he feels better soon! Smile

Onesleeptillwembley · 22/02/2014 13:14

Oh dear. I think you need to stop treating him like this. He's supposed to be an adult. You'll be sorry for treating him as, and letting him act as a child when you have this one, and realise a real child and an immature man child is no fun b

jasmine1979 · 22/02/2014 13:45

Honestly sometimes I feel like people forget that men have feelings as well. Sad
My partner had to change his medication recently and it has resulted in him putting on quite a bit of weight and his face looking slightly bloated as a result. He's been going into meetings at the moment to be met with comments such as "piling on the pork there son", and "wow, your face is getting fat" or the charming jibes about starting to lose his hair.
For some reason a lot of men seem to think it's ok to talk to one another like this and pass it off as "banter". My partner has a joke back with them and laughs it off whilst he's at work. He's seen as quite a big tough man to outsiders, but I know that's not the case. It hurts his feelings a lot and has had a huge effect on his self esteem. He remembers every one of those immature comments he gets and feels bad about them, whilst the idiot who made the comment gets to go about their day quite happily.
I despise the phrases like "man up", or "grow a pair". How dehumanising and downright sexist.

Funnyfoot · 22/02/2014 13:51

I am sorry that he is feeling so crappy. I don't want to say man up but maybe you need to point out that this is just banter. It is generally the way men communicate (worked in a male dominated environment for 10 years) so it is not always meant to be hurtful. They will forget by tomorrow and the ribbing usually doesn't last longer than a day.

Original poster
Celestae · 22/02/2014 18:32

Thank you for those with kind comments. Those of you who say man up need to do some reading up on bipolar before you say things like that. Luckily he is fine today, however in the past this has resorted him to wanting to cut himself and also rats.

He feels better about his hair after having a few compliments today but wishes he never had it cut.

At least he's not feeling crappy today.

OP posts:
Original poster
Celestae · 22/02/2014 18:33

And also rats is a typo. Lol I don't even know what I was trying to say there sorry guys

OP posts:
cloudskitchen · 22/02/2014 18:43

The trouble is a lot of men enjoy that kind of banter so it wouldn't even occur to them that it would upset your dp. My dh and his mates are terrible to each other but they love it. I don't understand it at all but there we go. Your dp is clearly a more sensitive soul and there's nothing wrong with that but maybe he somehow needs to thicken his skin and brush it off as the nonsense it often is Grin

MoominIsWaitingToMeetHerMiniMe · 22/02/2014 18:51

Glad to hear he's feeling better today.

Bipolar is such a shitty illness Sad

Those of you saying he needs to man up and taking the piss, maybe consider that he has Bipolar - and that it's the sort of MH issue that affects everyone differently, so what one person would be fine with, another absolutely wouldn't.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 22/02/2014 19:18

Well actually it does worry me that op is heavily pregnant and is worrying and getting texts that are upsetting her saying 'does my hair look good?' I hope he is ok today.

specialsubject · 22/02/2014 20:06

if it is real 'name calling' (rather than just the odd comment which he is not reacting to well due to his illness) then this is workplace bullying.

if it was a bunch of women it would be called bitching, and would be equally unacceptable.

don't his colleagues have enough work to do?

burnishedsilver · 22/02/2014 20:23

Seriously?
I'm assuming he's a man not a boy.
You're doing him no favours by calling him your fragile boy.

ProjectGainsborough · 22/02/2014 20:51

I can't believe people are being so harsh!

There has been some good advice on here though about reminding him that some people do just see this kind of stupid stuff as banter - it doesn't mean anything personal, however irritating it is!