Who wants to go grey with me?

[Flangeofmingetown]

I have had enough with the faff of dyeing my hair. Bleach.dye.bleach.dye every two weeks.

Dye is not enough on it's own. It just washes straight off. I have tried every brand there is and I just am so bored with the whole malarky.

I have short hair so could be done by May. I have inherited the silver gene from both my parents who both went gray prematurely (in their twenties) and have had grey hairs since my teens. Now I have a pure white halo around 3/4's of my hairline and is is noticeable even days after double processing.

I really like salt and pepper hair -have no problem with it and think it looks better than a dye job any day but it's the growing out phase that is excruciating.

Anyone care to join/have a good old moan/support/offer some tips etc?

I definitely think that smaller faced ladies get away with a pixie cut, which often goes well with grey hair.

I definitely cannot get a pixie cut, it would look hideous. It would be the answer to the growing out stage though, for anyone who could pull it off.

Agreed that Jamie Lee Curtis suits hers, but actually think she has a rather long face, strangely...

Pretty much anyone can pull off a pixie but you have to get the right pixie for your face and body type.

Yes it is long, but it's slim. She has no extra chins. My extra chin would make that cut look hideous!
I did have a short cut twice but I was really slim and young the first time and the second time, I was mid 40's and not so slim. Definitely not keen...

No way! I just can't! I am not ready to embrace grey hair, even though it is clearly there, it won't be accepted just yet!

I stopped dyeing my hair last year and went for a pixie cut to get rid of the brassy horrid semi-permanent colour that I never managed to quite match to my natural colour.

I'm 40 and probably only about 30% grey, more on temples. Natural colour is mouse.

I LOVE not dyeing my hair. DH loves my "natural highlights". I have become rather militant about going grey. I see it as a bit of a statement.

My hair grows fast and quite frankly the thought of doing my roots every 4 weeks for the next 20 years seems ABSURD. Most men don't dye their hair and does everyone judge them for looking their actual age old???

So in a way, not dyeing my hair is my mid-life crisis. I feel like quite a rebel. I notice women's hair colour all the time and there are some terrible dye jobs around that I think age your skin because they are (often) too dark or harsh.

You're convincing me naturelover

I'm sure I can't pull off a pixie though - i would look like a man. And I have a horrible ugly nose, I need a bit of hair to break up my profile!!

Also I hope to get married in the next couple of years, and don't want to be a grey bride

Maybe I'll use that as my threshold - keep the colour until then, and then stop and embrace the grey.

You're right about men though - DP is going grey and it suits him, makes him look distinguished.

I was worried about a pixie too cosyteabags esp as I'm tall and broad shouldered with strong facial features.

But actually I got dozens of compliments. I can see that it suits my face shape.

I admit I did compensate for the shorter haircut with more make-up, painting my nails and wearing skirts more.

Go for it!
It's completely liberating, honestly.

I started to go grey at sixteen, thanks mum,
Hated it as till then I had red hair that old ladies drooled over.

But by the time I got married at 23 my hair, shoulder length,was as white as my dress & I loved it.
It's great. It gets lots of compliments, get asked which hairdresser colours it! Do it, if you get lucky ( which you will after bit of perseverance) you can have platinum hair with no root re growth to worry about ever again

I agree about dyed hair looking very harsh & ageing on most people & even if they do get it done cleverly & expensively it still needs lots of upkeep.
If you see a group of women,obviously around the same age as each other, take a close look. Do the ones who dye their hair look noticeably younger than the ones who don't? Bet you still can tell they're the same ages...think about it.

I'm lucky that I'm blonde, so now it's ash.White with yellow tones and I didn't bother with the dye much. Dunno about dark hair though, could you go lighter so it transitions better?

nerfmother I'm still here from your original thread! I'm now 16 months into growing out the dye currently got Hair in a short bob and due for another cut at half term. lots of comments both positive and negative …but I don't care. I'm trying to pluck up the courage to go short to get rid of the last of the dye which is only on about 1 inch now. the colour is a nice clear grey, have wondered about going platinum highlights route but not sure. I won't be dying my hair again.

Aunt petunia!

How brilliant, I think it's really liberating. I had one hiccup and used a semi permanent which was actually very permanent but I really love not having a margin of grey emerging every few weeks!

I'm an older 'should I stop dying my hair' person. I've been covering up grey for 30 years and still haven't given up. Although I do worry about the nasty chemicals. Perhaps I should just be brave and stop.

I have been having one of my periodic 'shall I start dying?' moments today, so I'm glad to have seen this thread.

My hair is brown (with chestnutty tones) is slowly greying. My mum was grey at 25 and white by 40 so I didn't think I'd get to 43 before I considered it.

Actually I tried a home dye last year but the grey didn't take it well and I ended up with a nice colour but still some grey. I can't be arsed with regular hairdresser trips so I think this is me now.

Can I ask those of you with longer hair, has the texture / shine changed as you grey? My hair is in great condition but very thick and I'm a bit worried it will lose that as well as colour.

Maillot - I don't have much full length grey (it's mostly in a stripe in my fringe), but I've noticed that the grey hairs are currently thicker, smoother, and shinier than my dark hair (which is soft, shiny and in good condition). The grey is a bit wavier than my poker-straight brown hair, but that could easily be a good thing I think.

I don't think I can just yet, I look very washed out, old, tired with greys.

I do find that these two tips have reduced the frequency of the dyeing, I was retouching almost weekly as the hairs at the front were so resistent!

1. SLS free shampoo - I use L'oreal one

1. Pre - treat resistant dyes with 9% 30 Vols Hydrogen peroxide (its strong, use gloves) I dab it on with cotton wool. It opens the cuticle and allow the dye to penetrate. (the strength is very important!!)

Transformed my dye slavery somewhat!!

Good luck with your grey journey!

Thank you lady - smooth and shiny sounds good. It's the thicker bit that worries me as some of my hairs are like piano wire already

hi nerf glad you're still persevering, I haven't been tempted to dye at all which makes me think I'm ready to accept I'm 45!and just go with it. though I have a big wedding to go to in the summer and that's when I might falter, will probably go short before then to keep me focused.

Maillot my grey is little courser but as my hair has a natural inclination to curls it isn't too noticeable, I use the purple silver hair shampoo and conditioner which helps keep the grey shine and smooth.

Following this thread with interest. I've been dying my hair for 20 years, initially recreationally (pink, blue) but for the last 10 to cover greys, recently every 2 weeks. I'm fed up of the treadmill, and about 6 weeks ago went cold turkey and had it cut into a short graduated bob. It's so liberating knowing that there'll be no more time painting my roots and scrubbing dye off the bathroom. It's about 50/50 dark brown/white with completely white sections at the sides.

I've stopped home dying my hair. It's a faff; it never looks 'natural' anyway; you can't see how it looks from the back and for me it was turning my hair a sort of bleached straw colour. I disagree about grey being aging - some of the bad dye jobs you see look terrible and they are so obviously dye jobs. You can tell by someone's face how old they are anyway.

I have some highlighty bits put through every couple of months just to balance it all out a bit but I'm a bit hit and miss with that too.

Not a chance! I am almost white around about 50-60% of my hair. I am not going to grow old gracefully. And I am 30 something, so got a while before it looks like I am trying to stay young but, I know a few people who have and some look fab. The ones who still spend time on their hair, getting it cut beautifully, and also dress really well, those looking great, others look a bit drab, so guess it's the same will all hair, you got to take care of it.

wedy it totally agree about how some dye jobs are ageing in themselves. I think mine falls into that catergory: home job because of lack of funds and requiring childcare to go to the hairdressers. I'm 36, and have a fairly young face and wierdly dark eyebrows (think Alistair Darling)! I do have a few white eyelashes which I'm not dyeing (oh and white nose hairs and pubes, which I definitely don't dye).

Prof Brian Cox is looking mightily fine with his silvers isn't he? He doesn't look frumpy or like he has given up so I can't see why it would be different for a woman. I have been trying to find a female in the public eye of a similar age who is going with their grey but to no avail.

A bit older -but I do like Liz Fraser's pixie with longer tendril bits hairstyle when she first went grey (Cocteau Twins).

Bonzo how are you managing the grow out contrast thing? In the last year I have found my eyebrows have started to grey and I found a pure white eyelash last week. I am looking forward to being off the treadmill too!

*Wendy- I agree you can tell how old someone is from their face. Are you having grey highlights done? Are they staying true to colour or yellowing?

It's easy for me to say I don't dye my hair because it used to be mousey/blond-ish whereas now it has silver highlights that I really like. I also realise that going grey in your 50s is very different from in your 20s or 30s. Even so I don't think there is anything more ageing than those cover-up-the-grey rinses. They look truly awful. Some professional colour jobs can look good - although never natural - but maintaining them costs a bomb.

As others have said, your skin tone changes as well as your hair so 9 times out of 10 your own colour is more flattering. In any case, the cut and condition of your hair is way more important than the colour, in my opinion. Totally agree about the difference in attitude to men who go grey but then our society is terrified of older women.

I saw a lady yesterday who had amazing (Judy Dench coloured) grey hair. It was thick and shiny and I felt a bit jealous. I've no grey hair yet but when I do start to 'go' it'll be that wispy-washy flat grey.... Dead mouse grey. If you have the silver gene, embrace it! I think it's fabulous and really brightens the face, like a halo effect.

Another one in the "No chance" camp .

Interesting - but I think keeping grey hair looking groomed and in good condition is more effort for most people than colouring.
I see very few women with well kept grey hair.