Crepeys, I have just lost my temper with DD1. 
I hardly ever lose my temper, but I am so fed up with her permanent negativity about everything. She hates school (she has hated every school she has been to). She hates French, maths, science, art, history. She doesn't hate English, but she hates her teacher because her teacher hates her and deliberately marks her down so that she will fail. She doesn't see why she should go to school - there is no point. She doesn't want to go to university, she wants to go and live in a commune and live off nature. Or she wants to go and study art or drama "because you don't need maths to do that." Yes you do, lovey. She is going to drop French and do Spanish or Japanese instead. Because "they don't have grammar", and she hates grammar.
I could really strangle her right now. She calls me twice a day and all she does is fucking moan. Nothing is ever right. And it is never her fault. Her biggest moan tonight is that she has a maths exam at 0830 tomorrow and she has decided that she doesn't understand it, and it is too late to ask any of the teachers. And this is where the problem comes in - she will never, ever, ever ask if she doesn't understand something. It has been the constant thread throughout school. And every term when it comes up, she says yes, yes she will ask questions if she doesn't understand. And every term she doesn't. She "doesn't want to look stupid." I said she will look more stupid if she doesn't pass her exams because she hasn't bothered to put in the effort required to understand.
I don't know what to do. She is bright - she is very bright. But she has no confidence and once she gets into a downward spiral there is no getting her out of it. The latests is that she doesn't want to do IB. She wants to do A levels, because she thinks they will be easier. All she wants is the easy option. But then when she is offered it, she gets bored, and then everything is boring, and off we go again.