The real beauty rules

[LadyMilfordHaven]

1. Any nail varnish applied standing at the door waiting for the taxi will look better and last longer than any manicure.

Agree re giving up booze and sleep FREE too!

When arriving at salon for waxing there will be two therapists there. You cross all available fingers hoping your appointments not with the ex pupil.

You only realise when you're 36 that you looked bloody gorgeous naturally when you were 19-31 (and then you had kids), didn't make the most of it then and now find you have to work 10 times as hard to look half as good.

When you go on holiday you take absolutely tons but none of it is quite right and you end up wearing the same thing the whole week.

( oh god dont - I always take loads of slap with me then dont use it as i am sweating like a hoss)

The bout of good weather always arrives when you're in the middle of your waxing schedule.

So too hairy to bare your legs, but not hairy enough to bring next waxing appointment forward.

You have to wear linen trousers for weeks and when you finally get your legs waxed and are ready to wear little sun dresses it starts to rain.

Although the sample of expensive skin cream leaves you with angel soft skin, when you buy the full size bottle it makes you break out in teenager style acne Clinique Dramatically Different gel, I'm looking at you

Your hair will look Middleton-esque in the middle of a tropical monsoon, but horrendous on a nice calm, still day with zero humidity.

i look better in the mirror than i do in pictures.

Your hair always look best the day before you are due to get it cut